Girl Scout Cookies . . . 0

. . . are, I am convinced, the world’s most expensive cookies, pound for pound. $3.00 or more for 12 to 14 Samoas probably takes the cake.

This is the season to be shanghaied by little girls, their mothers (and sometimes their fathers) hanging about in the background, as we navigate our daily tasks.

I have no problem saying, “No.” I had my own girl scout and my ex was a troop leader. I camped with girl scouts, transported cookies, sat at cookie sales, even gave a presentation on bridge construction. I figure I’ve done my duty to the girl scout movement.

With that said, I think the most thankless job in any girl scout troop is the job of “Cookie Mother.” The Cookie Mother (or, sometimes Cookie Father) has to get the cookies when they come in, usually at a very inconvenient time, sort them out in piles for the girls, distribute them, and keep track of the money. In an active troop, finding some place to store several dozen cartons of cookies can be quite a challenge, and the paperwork demands accounting skills that, had Enron had them, would have kept Enron from getting caught.

And now comes a reader of the Washington Post worrying about expiration dates. And I thought I needed a life:

But no expiration or sell-by dates on those Thin Mints, Lemon Coolers, Samoas and Do-Si-Dos pose a problem for Koricki. “It is hard to come out of a business where [the Scouts] are outside and not buy from them,” says the Rockville resident. “I figure Girl Scouts is a real good outfit. . . . But when I find products that do not have expiration dates, I do not buy them.”

Apparently, they do not expire.

“Girl Scout cookies are not a potentially hazardous food from a food-safety perspective” so they don’t require an expiration date, says food-safety expert Paul VanLandingham . . . .

(The story has an interesting discourse on the difference between expiration dates and sell-by dates, as well as a nice tidbit on sign-up webpages that sucker people into subscribing to newsletters and stuff.).