Ballhog 0
Few in the English-speaking world would not recognize the The Lord of the Rings, even if they had not read it or seen the movie.
I recommend that everyone read it, so he or she can then have to pleasure of reading Bored of the Rings, the Harvard Lampoon parody of Professor Tolkein’s work.
In one of the most dramatic of the scenes in Bored, the seven Ringers (the Boggies, Frito, Moxie, and Pepsi, accompanied by Spam [Frito’s gardener]; Legolam the Elf; Gimlet the Dwarf; Arrowroot of Arrowshirt, keeper of Krona, the Sword that Was Broken; and Bromosel, prince of Minas Troney; all led by Goodgulf the Wizard), are traversing the Mines of Andrea Doria (the dreaded Nikon-Zoom of Gimlet’s people–ed.):
Before long the passageway sloped more gently down until with a final plunge it led into a great chamber lined with huge metal lockers and dimly let by a firey glow. As they entered, the rumblings grew louder: Dribble. Dribble. Fake. Dribble. Fake. Dribble. Fake. Shoot.
(snip)
As Goodgulf stepped onto the bridge, the passage echoed with an ominous dribble, dribble, and a great crowd of narcs burst forth. In their midst was a towering dark shadow too terrible to describe. In its hand it held a huge black globe and on its chest was written in cruel runes, “Villanova.”
“Aiyee,” shouted Legolam. “A ballhog.”
Not long ago, with the fall of Communism (aside–Communism is dead; only a few Stalinist remnants remain, so why do certain elements of our polity still resort to calling those whose views they oppose “Commies”?), there was talk of an American Century.
Then there was talk of a New American Century:
(snip)
Most ominously, this PNAC document described four “Core Missions” for the American military. The two central requirements are for American forces to “fight and decisively win multiple, simultaneous major theater wars,” and to “perform the ‘constabulary’ duties associated with shaping the security environment in critical regions.” Note well that PNAC does not want America to be prepared to fight simultaneous major wars. That is old school. In order to bring this plan to fruition, the military must fight these wars one way or the other to establish American dominance for all to see.
(snip)
Vice President Dick Cheney is a founding member of PNAC, along with Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Defense Policy Board chairman Richard Perle. Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz is the ideological father of the group. Bruce Jackson, a PNAC director, served as a Pentagon official for Ronald Reagan before leaving government service to take a leading position with the weapons manufacturer Lockheed Martin.
And now those persons, with a vision of an American hegemony enforced by arms, are in power and arguably have acted on their vision.
Like a seven-year-old who wants his way at any course, they have attempted to get their way by hitting people and breaking toys. Consider the record:
- Hitting their political opponents with lies.
- Failure to act upon warnings about Al Qaeda until awakened by the sound of buildings’ falling.
- Failure to pursue Osama bin Laden to the end in Afghanistan.
- Breaking more toys and hitting more people: Making up a war in Iraq, then botching it from the get-go.
- Reducing the moral stance of the United States of America to an extent that, when speakers cast scorn on the U. S. A. at the United Nations, those speakers are applauded.
Failure, failure, failure.
So what do they suggest now?
More hitting people and breaking toys, while claiming God is on their side.
I guess that’s running the government like a business: If what you are doing doesn’t work, do the same thing harder.
The current Federal Administration has made the United States into a Ballhog.
