Gunnuttery category archive
Be polite to your friends.
“From what I heard, they were best of friends,” Gomez said.
Woodcock and the other party-goers apparently had been drinking alcohol before he went back to his bedroom.
“He went into his bedroom, came back out, had a handgun, the handgun went off and struck Mr. Skillman in the chest,” Gomez said.
Be polite to your neighbors.
According to the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office, the man said he was taking items from a dresser drawer where he keeps his loaded 9mm handgun when it accidentally fell to the floor. When he picked up the gun to inspect it for damage, he discharged it. The bullet went through several walls in his home and then hit the front door of the home across the street. No one was inside the neighbor’s home at the time, but they were notified of the incident by the sheriff’s office.
Politeness is a family affair.
The Springfield News-Leader reports that the release says an adult guest at the home unknowingly dropped the gun.
Hey, Mr. Responsible Gun Owner, how do you “unknowingly” drop a gun?
Be polite at parties.
Police say a male was handling a long gun when it fired and struck Ijong.
My opinion is that males should not play with their portable penises–or, for that matter, any other penises–in the presence of others.
Notice how a man becomes a “male” and a child becomes a “juvenile” and a woman becomes a “female” in police-speak?
Commit random acts of politeness.
The Utah County Sheriff said in a statement that the incident occurred after a 17-year-old picked up a rifle from a bed. The rifle reportedly had a round jammed in the chamber, which dislodged and fired when the firearm was picked up.
Whatever happened to “Make sure never to point a gun at anyone”?
Be polite to your fellow employees.
A 34-year-old man was shot twice in the back as he ran away, according to police.
Other employees jumped on the gunman and one man was fatally shot during the scuffle.
“After the initial person got shot, the other employees ran over and were trying to wrestle the gun from the shooter,” Clinton Township police Capt. Richard Maierle. “The gun then went off and shot the business owner.”
Politeness takes practice.
That agency, in a post to Twitter, called the discharge a “malfunction” and said the shooter was hospitalized in “good condition.”
Situations such as these could be avoided if one ensures that one’s portable penis is not pointing at anyone while one is caressing it.
The hunt for politeness never ends. Nor, it seems, does the hunt for stupid.
Politeness is a family value.
Authorities say a 17-year-old relative told investigators he didn’t know the gun was loaded when he was handling it in the living room of the home.
Answering the call of politeness:
“Was this accidental?” the dispatcher asked.
“Yes,” the teen replied.
“What’s going on there?” the dispatcher asked.
“My friend brought a gun over and I picked it up. I didn’t know there was anything in it and I just shot it,” the boy said.
“Where are your parents?” the dispatcher asked.
“Work,” the teen replied.
Commit random acts of politeness.
The Bristol (Mass.–ed.) district attorney’s office said Monday that 57-year-old Dean Tupper, of Easton, was arrested and charged with discharging a firearm within 500 feet of a building, making false statements to police, carrying a dangerous weapon on school grounds and other charges.
The office says his reckless handling of a firearm resulted in the accidental shooting Oct. 11 in the plumber’s shop of Stonehill College’s Clock Farm, across the street from the main campus.
Self-politeness is the politest kind.
Taylor police say the man recanted his story after further questioning, and said he actually shot himself while handling a handgun.
There is a lesson in this tale: When you decide to play with your auxiliary portable penis, proceed with caution.
Surround your children with politeness.
Jackson told the newspaper that it appears that the child found the gun in the house and accidently (sic) shot himself as he was handling it. Law enforcement has not released the name of the child.
Celebrate Christmas politely.
Logan Trammell’s family told a Birmingham news station he was driving away from his parents home around 11:30 p.m. on Dec. 24 in one of his father’s vehicles. Unaware Logan was borrowing his truck and believing someone was stealing it, the father shot at the truck. After it stopped, he realized he had mistakenly shot and killed his own son, the family told WIAT.
Shoot first, ask questions later. Always a good policy.
Children should be polite to each other . . .
Prince George’s County Police told WJLA that they were called to the 15500 block of Saint Phillips Road just before 10 p.m. and found the 11-year-old girl suffering from a bullet wound.
. . . because politeness is a Republican Family Value.
Unaware politeness is the politest kind.
According to police reports, Palmatier was shot in the head by another 16-year-old male who was unaware the gun was loaded. Spectrum News of the Southern Tier reported that it was a .22 caliber hunting rifle that was mishandled and fired.
Police pronounced Palmatier dead at the scene.
The case is still under investigation but police at this time are calling it an accident and a “terrible tragedy.”
“Accident” is “negligence” misplet.