Gunnuttery category archive
Florida man phones in politeness:
Police said utility workers were working on lines near the home when 64-year-old Jorge Jove approached them on Wednesday morning. Jove was apparently upset because the trucks were parked in front of his home, officials told WSVN.
The workers told the man they would move the trucks after the work was completed. The man then went inside his home and came back out with a gun and started shooting at the tires.
Yet more familial politeness . . . .
The bullet grazed a nine-year-old in the chest and then hit the boy’s arm.
Politeness is a family value.
A 15-year-old female was airlifted from Henrieville to Salt Lake City Sunday night after her younger brother allegedly shot her in the back during what police are calling an “altercation.” Garfield County Sheriff Danny Perkins said the male juvenile was around 12 or 13-years-old but he was unsure of his exact age.
Have you noticed how, in police-speak, once someone has been exposed to politeness, he or she is no longer a “man” or a “woman” or a “boy” or a “girl,” but rather becomes an impersonal “male” or a “female”?
Fly the polite skies (emphasis added to highlight prima facie evidence that some persons are too stupid to be allowed weaponry).
The passenger told authorities that he had borrowed his mother’s bag and the firearm belonged to her, according to the TSA. It is not known if he was arrested.
The TSA discovered 78 firearms in carry-on bags the same week at airports around the country. Of those, 62 were loaded and 32 had a round chambered.
It is polite to throw your grandchildren under the bus. Politeness must be a Family Value.
Originally, both grandparents stated that their 10-year-old grandson shot the pistol twice after being asked to retrieve it for the grandfather. One of the rounds ended up hitting the grandfather in the leg.
But the investigation continued and deputies managed to interview the 10-year-old boy after his mother contacted them.
The boy stated that his grandparents were arguing which led to Hawkins getting the pistol and shooting towards her husband. The boy told deputies that his grandmother “did not mean to” shoot his grandfather.
You can’t make this stuff up, at least, you can’t if you are sane.
Always be polite when attending the show.
Witnesses told CBS4’s Dillon Thomas the man was shot by another attendee, unintentionally.
“There was a bang, and then a gentleman screamed,” one witness, who wished not to be identified, said. “I saw a man bleeding from the lower right leg.”
The story goes on to say that one of the persons present suggested that the remedy for such incidents is always to have a first aid kit handy because you never know when some gun nut will shoot another gun nut because stupid.
Practice courtesy on the nation’s byways,
Robert Charles Lay III, 34, of Friendswood, reported the hit-and-run and followed the other vehicle involved as he was on the phone with the dispatcher. The dispatcher asked Lay to stop, since the license plate he provided had matched the vehicle description.
But, Lay did not stop, Click 2 Houston reported police as saying. He followed the other driver into Pearland where he ran the hit-and-run driver off the road and shot out a tire on the car.
Politeness builds strong families.
Deputies say after the father was finished shooting, the 5-year-old was standing in the back of the pickup near the back window of the truck. The father was putting his rifle away in the cab of the truck when it accidentally went off. The bullet went through the back window of the truck and hit the boy in the lower part of his neck.
Think about this.
He’s “putting his rifle away” with a chambered shell and with the safety off (if indeed it has a safety)–oh, never mind. Those portable penises do seem to have minds of their own.
A party guest must conduct himself with politeness.
The alleged victims told police Ursic became angry when a band was making fun of him and left in his pickup truck about 2 a.m. May 20. Two women at the party went to investigate after hearing what sounded like a vehicle accident shortly after Ursic left, according to court documents.
They found debris and Ursic sitting in his truck along a road that went into the woods. They told police Ursic pointed a shotgun at them and said, “You’re dead to me.” They later saw Ursic driving past the party several times, the record indicates.
No, I hadn’t heard of “Pike Days” either.
There’s no politeness like inadvertent politeness.
It might be wise for gun nuts to learn about how guns work.
The stupid. It burns.
Show a polite hand.
Police said that in the early morning hours of Jan. 28, they were notified of an accidental discharge of a firearm that occurred in the parking lot of building 4 of the Fox Run Apartments on Flintlock Road.
When they arrived, police found Dotson with a single gunshot wound to his left hand.
If he had had another gun, perhaps he could have shot back at himself in self defense.
Rekha Basu recently took the Iowa “concealed carry” test and qualified for a permit, even though she has never touched a firearm. She wrote of her experience in the Des Moines Register. Here’s a bit:
Under Iowa law as of 2011, these courses can be offered by the National Rifle Association or instructors certified by it. Keep in mind, that’s a lobby group that wants to scrap most gun laws. That may help explain why the test I took listed the statements “Make laws banning handguns” or “Stay away from handguns” as the wrong answers to the question, “How to avoid the two main causes of handgun related accidents; ignorance and carelessness.”
Practice random acts of politeness.
Palm Beach County Sheriff’s investigators say Ramdass was shot and killed in an accidental shooting in the Holey Land Wildlife Management Area near the Broward-Palm Beach County line Wednesday evening.
He was with two family members at the time. Investigators believe the person who fired the gun may not even know that they hit someone.
Detectives want to find out who fired the fatal shot.
Small acts of politeness can deliver a bang.
Chief Deputy Mike Lambert said at 1485 Jack Springs Rd., on Sunday afternoon, a Samuel Eli Williams, 57, of 11259 Cactus Court, Elberta, was with family trying to sort through items left from a property will.
While another family member was opening a 45 caliber derringer pistol, the gun accidentally discharged and struck Williams in the left hand and left thigh, Lambert said.
Whatever happened to concept of making sure a gun isn’t pointed at anyone?
Be polite to your friends.
Montez reportedly woke up in the middle of the night and heard loud noises that he thought were gunfire and unknown people talking nearby,” the sheriff’s office said in a report. “Montez retrieved his handgun when he saw a person cross through the campground. Montez fired his weapon in the direction of the person who was later identified as his friend, Moody.”
Moody was taken to the hospital for treatment for a gunshot wound, the sheriff’s office said. He was pronounced dead shortly after 3 a.m.
If Mr. Moody had been packing, he no doubt could have returned fire.
Perpetually packing politeness perpetuates personal propriety (also, pigs, wings).
Quick action from U.S. Park Police personnel might have prevented a Shippensburg, Pa., man’s injuries from being worse after he shot himself in the leg Saturday afternoon at Gettysburg National Military Park.
Benjamin Hornberger, 23, suffered a gunshot wound to his left leg after his revolver discharged, according to Sgt. Anna Rose, spokeswoman for the U.S. Park Police.
. . . and another gun that seems to have fired all on its ownsome.
Thus passeth another
life day in the NRA Garden of Earthly Delights:
According to the report, it was just one of those things, just one of those crazy things . . . .
“We have questioned the father of this individual and we also questioned other individuals at the house at the time of the shooting, based on all the evidence we have this time it appears to be an accidental shooting,” said Commander Jones. “It is a very tragic situation and our hearts go out to family at this time as well. It is under investigation, of course we are not ruling anything out.”
Inculcate politeness from a tender age.
The boy’s mother told deputies she picked her son up off the living room floor and saw he was bleeding. She then loaded him into her car and drove to Beaufort Memorial hospital. The boy was later flown to MUSC (Medical University of South Carolina–ed.), according to the Sheriff’s Office.
And so begins another day in NRA Paradise.
Show politeness to your fellow motorists.
“Route 100 South drops down from two lanes to one lane where it merges into Route 202,” Chester County District Attorney Tom Hogan said during a press conference Thursday night. “At that point her car started jostling with a red pickup truck. Not actually hitting but both of them trying to merge together.”
Police said the driver of the pickup truck then pulled out a gun in a fit of road rage and shot Roberson in the head, killing her instantly. Roberson’s car went off the side of the road and crashed into a wooded area. The driver of the pickup truck fled the scene down the shoulder of the road on Route 202 and continued onto Paoli Pike.
Politeness is a family value.
A northwestern Indiana man said he was showing a handgun to his sons and telling them to never play with it “because it can kill someone” when he accidentally shot and killed his 9-year-old daughter, according to court records.
Authorities said the 33-year-old father was showing his sons a 9 mm semi-automatic handgun when he inadvertently shot Olivia as she walked into the room. Hummel told the 911 dispatcher he didn’t realize the gun was loaded when he pulled the trigger.
Just another day in Gun Nut Eden.