Gunnuttery category archive
Getting playful with his portable penis . . . .
His girlfriend, Mary Neace, 28, was seriously injured when she was shot in the torso. The trigger was pulled during what police had described as “amorous role-playing.”
The grand jury didn’t buy the playful part.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. More bullets than brains.
Practice politeness in a festive manner.
The shooting was an isolated incident, according to Mesa County Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Megan Terlecky.
“We believe it was accidental, but we’re still investigating,” she said, noting that they are looking into how the gun came to be at the festival.
Really, they’re wondering how the gun got there? No doubt it purchased a ticket and walked in through the front gate.
Seal your friendships with politeness.
Wray was also manipulating* a Smith & Wesson handgun he had just purchased when the firearm accidentally fired and struck Davenport in the face, Richmond said.
The story goes on to say that authorities are not considering charges at this time, I reckon because the gun somehow mysteriously fired itself. Bad gun! Bad!
*Methinks they misplet “masturbating.”
Exercise courtesy whilst employing your motorized conveyance.
The Westminster (Colorado–ed.) Police Department responded around 3 p.m. local time to reports of a shooting, it said in a press release late Thursday. Officers discovered two adults and two children suffering from gunshot wounds in the parking lot of a business complex.
All of the victims were taken to a hospital, but a young boy died as a result of his injuries.
After several hours, police said they had located and arrested the accused shooter, who they identified as 23-year-old Jeremy Webster. Police said he was a stranger to the victims.
“It appears as if this incident stemmed from a road rage,” the news release said.
Demonstrate politeness to those in transit.
No injuries were reported.
Politeness takes practice.
According to a statement sent out by Sheriff Rene Rodriguez, deputies were dispatched to the public gun range for a report of an person who was shot while conducting training.
Another responsible gun owner demonstrates responsibility in the way that only responsible gun owners can.
Fisher County Sheriff Allan Arnwine said that the shooter had just killed a non-poisonous snake and when the man reloaded his gun, he accidentally shot Keegan.
Politeness is essential to a successful dining out experience.
When the employee refused to serve the pair, Reese reportedly became upset and made a comment about “shooting this place up”.
Officials say as the pair was leaving, Reese pointed a gun at the employee.
A short time later, a different officer responded to an accident at Rock Prairie Road and State Highway 6, which authorities determined also involved Reese.
Politeness is a family value.
The sheriff’s office says the girl’s brother accidentally fired the single shot that hit her in the left arm. One adult was home at the time of the shooting, the sheriff’s office says.
No mention is made of the age of the brother, but the wording at the link above and in Pratt County’s local rag gives the impression that he not very old.
A recipe for politeness at the confluence of guns and stupid:
His girlfriend, unaware of the gun’s presence, turned on the oven Sunday to bake. Police say she called out to Garlock when she thought she heard a gunshot fired outside. Police say Garlock was struck by bullets or bullet fragments when they exploded inside the gun.
The person who wrote the story decided to be all cutesy-poo and point out that “no charges have been filed against the oven,” but, then, it wasn’t the oven that was stupid and negligent was it?
It wasn’t the girlfriend, either. How many of you open the oven door to check for weaponry before turning on the broiler?
Get a load of the politeness:
She told investigators that the man was playing around with a handgun and she had told him to stop. He reportedly told her not to worry because the gun was unloaded. At one point, he put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger.
It was loaded.
Exercise courtesy while traveling in your automotive conveyance.