From Pine View Farm

Words Fail Me category archive

Dog Gone* 0

Canine recruit found to be insufficiently fiendly.

One such puppy, a German shepherd named Gavel, flunked out of police training in Australia in February after he was found to “not display the necessary aptitude for a life on the front line.” As BBC reports, the problem was that Gavel was “too sociable,” and enjoyed meeting strangers a little too much to make a career out of catching criminals. Unfortunately, he was too much of a good boy.

The story goes on to say he was adopted by the governor of Queensland.


*Sorry. Couldn’t resiste.

Caffeination Nation 0

Oh, my.

A 16-year-old high school student who collapsed in a classroom last month died from ingesting too much caffeine, the county coroner said Monday.

The official cause of death for Davis Allen Cripe was a “caffeine-induced cardiac event causing a probable arrhythmia,” said Richland County Coroner Gary Watts. It was the result of the teen ingesting the caffeine from a large Diet Mountain Dew, a cafe latte from McDonald’s and an energy drink over the course of about two hours, Watts said.

The story goes on to say that the autopsy found no undiagnosed or untreated condition. The caffeine did it all on its ownsome.

The Call of the Wired 0

Tales of the headset set.

Read more »

Stray Thought, Normalization Dept. 0

One of the distressing aspects of dis coarse post-election discourse is the attempt on the part of some to portray bigotry, hatred, and racism as somehow legitimate because the bigots, haters, and racists feel “aggrieved.”*

For example.


*Afterthought, Late That Same Evening:

And, natch, because they are not Not White. Not White grievances are ipso facto not legitimate. If you paid attention, you’d know that.

I think I shall be ill.

Inquiring Minds Don’t Want To Know 0

Josh Marshall contemplates the “Trump-Pecker alliance.”

I have nothing to add.

Crimes of Celebrity Chefs 0

Mother Goose says,

For the Birds 0

Plaintiffs eat crow in silly lawsuit about crows.

Being a farm boy, I tend to be biased against crows, but, really, now.

Distracted Driving 0

Maybe they should have stuck to texting.

Republican Family Values 0

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, the chutzpah.

It leaves one babbling.

(I guess the bright side is, he stands tall and proud in his hypocrisy.)

Via The Bob and Chez Show Blog.

When Will White Folks Stop Lying to Themselves? 0

Tony Norman points out that it was called “slave labor” for a reason.

Snakes on a Plain 0

Do you want your snake back? Call this number . . . .

An 8-foot-long snake — possibly a python or a boa constrictor — was rounded up in a park west of the Twin Cities and is awaiting either its owner to step forward or a new place to call home.

Humans are the stupidest people.

Facebook Frolics 0

The Woman in the Silver Mercedes.

Childhood’s End 0

No, not the science fiction story. This:

The summer school students plopped down on an orange mat and listened as teacher Elizabeth Fraley read aloud to them from a book. As she pointed out different animals, they took turns pinning the lion and polar bear pictures on a corkboard.

They had already gone through parts of a book – front cover, back cover, spine – as they sat outside on the grass in Santa Monica. People walked by with their dogs. One floated past on a hoverboard.

The children, ranging in age from 3½ to 5, were engaged in more serious pursuits. They were at KinderPrep, a $1,000, weeklong boot camp designed to prepare them for the rigors of kindergarten.

Words fail me.

Look! It’s Aurora Borealis Briggs and Stratton! 0


Subscribers to the AuroraWatch UK mailing list were sent a “Red Alert” yesterday; informing them that it would be possible to view the aurora borealis from anywhere in the UK.

Unfortunately, this extraordinary alert was withdrawn just four hours later when it was discovered that a groundskeeper driving a sit-on lawnmower had disturbed the readings of a local magnetometer.

But Wait! There’s More! 0

Now! at Donald’s Discount Emporium.

TSA Security Theatre 0

Send in the clowns.

Life Imitates Art 0

Eric Blumberg remembers Ionesco’s The Leader.

One of Ionesco’s least known works is The Leader, a short play about the anticipated arrival of The Leader. During the play, the Announcer broadcasts everything The Leader is doing prior to his onstage appearance. At last, The Leader comes on stage whereupon one of the cast notices he doesn’t have a head. Yet, this abnormality makes no difference to his followers since they know “he’s got genius.” The play also includes a secondary theme, which ultimately points to society’s inability to communicate effectively.

Follow the link to see what brought it to mind.

No Beauties Need Apply 0

You can’t make this stuff up.

This, by the by, is nothing new.

Backfire, the Law Doesn’t Apply to Me Dept. 0

The best-laid plans of mice and militants gang aft agley.

Ammon Bundy led the occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge intending to force a civil court to take up the constitutionality of federal land management policy, his lawyers contend in new court papers filed Monday.

He had expected the government to issue an eviction or ejection claim instead of arresting and indicting the occupiers on federal charges in criminal court.

The oddest bit in the story is this (emphasis added):

His (Ammon Bundy’s–ed.) lawyers assert that Bundy isn’t a member of any militia, isn’t an extremist and doesn’t hold anti-government views — underlining each contention in bold type in their 33-page motion and memorandum filled with lengthy footnotes. (The story goes on to recite wingnut babble about “Fed-rul overreach.”)

I can’t speak to the bit about “militia” (I suspect this boils down to “not having a membership card”), but, as regards the other two contentions, I fear actions doth drowneth out words.

The sky-is-purple level chutzpah, though, merits admiration.


I am nonplussed at the ability of wingnuts to convince themselves that carrying miniature copies of the Constitution of the United States of America in their shirt pockets, to be whipped out and misinterpreted at the slightest provocation, magickally mystickally morphs sedition into patriotism.

There’s no delusion like self-delusion.

It’s the best delusion there is.

Style over Substance Something or Other 0

Now that Ted Cruz is off the island, I reckon that the Republican Party is now officially the reality show party, which prompts the question, is the Republican Party most akin to Survivor or Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo?

I’m voting for Honey Boo-Boo.

Will Bunch tries to figure it out. Here’s a bit from his post (follow the link for the rest):

Tomorrow’s newspapers will be chock full of analyses about how Trump nailed down the Republican nomination in Indiana, but that’s not even the real import of the astonishing thing that has just happened. The Republican Party, in its desperation to “unify” and salvage something, anything, for the November election, not just nominated but “normalized” a would-be president whose casual embrace of goon violence at his overheated rallies, whose toxic spew of insults or hate policies towards women, immigrants, or Muslims never seems to stop, and whose embrace of harmful conspiracy theories from vaccines to President Obama’s birth certificate has already made a mockery of America around the world. What Indiana really did is put a seal of approval on a scary, not-good, horrible chapter in our politics and our history.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.