From Pine View Farm

Words Fail Me category archive

Great Moments in Spell Check 0

From today’s local rag:

Copy of print newspaper showing "mechanizations" improperly used for "machinations."

It’s also in the online version as I write this:

That was true under President George W. Bush, who used a national emergency to throw a veil of secrecy over his administration’s mechanizations.

What kind of machinations, one wonders, will be required to correct this error.

(By the by, the local rag has been rolling out some excellent editorials lately. The Editorial Board clearly finds the antics of the current federal administration to be concerning.)

“Social Media” Isn’t 0

The second paragraph in a story in today’s local rag states:

Linda has asked that her last name not be used for fear of harassment on social media.

Dog Gone* 0

Canine recruit found to be insufficiently fiendly.

One such puppy, a German shepherd named Gavel, flunked out of police training in Australia in February after he was found to “not display the necessary aptitude for a life on the front line.” As BBC reports, the problem was that Gavel was “too sociable,” and enjoyed meeting strangers a little too much to make a career out of catching criminals. Unfortunately, he was too much of a good boy.

The story goes on to say he was adopted by the governor of Queensland.

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*Sorry. Couldn’t resiste.

Caffeination Nation 0

Oh, my.

A 16-year-old high school student who collapsed in a classroom last month died from ingesting too much caffeine, the county coroner said Monday.

The official cause of death for Davis Allen Cripe was a “caffeine-induced cardiac event causing a probable arrhythmia,” said Richland County Coroner Gary Watts. It was the result of the teen ingesting the caffeine from a large Diet Mountain Dew, a cafe latte from McDonald’s and an energy drink over the course of about two hours, Watts said.

The story goes on to say that the autopsy found no undiagnosed or untreated condition. The caffeine did it all on its ownsome.

The Call of the Wired 0

Tales of the headset set.

Read more »

Stray Thought, Normalization Dept. 0

One of the distressing aspects of dis coarse post-election discourse is the attempt on the part of some to portray bigotry, hatred, and racism as somehow legitimate because the bigots, haters, and racists feel “aggrieved.”*

For example.

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*Afterthought, Late That Same Evening:

And, natch, because they are not Not White. Not White grievances are ipso facto not legitimate. If you paid attention, you’d know that.

I think I shall be ill.

Inquiring Minds Don’t Want To Know 0

Josh Marshall contemplates the “Trump-Pecker alliance.”

I have nothing to add.

Crimes of Celebrity Chefs 0

Mother Goose says,

For the Birds 0

Plaintiffs eat crow in silly lawsuit about crows.

Being a farm boy, I tend to be biased against crows, but, really, now.

Distracted Driving 0

Maybe they should have stuck to texting.

Republican Family Values 0

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, the chutzpah.

It leaves one babbling.

(I guess the bright side is, he stands tall and proud in his hypocrisy.)

Via The Bob and Chez Show Blog.

When Will White Folks Stop Lying to Themselves? 0

Tony Norman points out that it was called “slave labor” for a reason.

Snakes on a Plain 0

Do you want your snake back? Call this number . . . .

An 8-foot-long snake — possibly a python or a boa constrictor — was rounded up in a park west of the Twin Cities and is awaiting either its owner to step forward or a new place to call home.

Humans are the stupidest people.

Facebook Frolics 0

The Woman in the Silver Mercedes.

Childhood’s End 0

No, not the science fiction story. This:

The summer school students plopped down on an orange mat and listened as teacher Elizabeth Fraley read aloud to them from a book. As she pointed out different animals, they took turns pinning the lion and polar bear pictures on a corkboard.

They had already gone through parts of a book – front cover, back cover, spine – as they sat outside on the grass in Santa Monica. People walked by with their dogs. One floated past on a hoverboard.

The children, ranging in age from 3½ to 5, were engaged in more serious pursuits. They were at KinderPrep, a $1,000, weeklong boot camp designed to prepare them for the rigors of kindergarten.

Words fail me.

Look! It’s Aurora Borealis Briggs and Stratton! 0

Whoops.

Subscribers to the AuroraWatch UK mailing list were sent a “Red Alert” yesterday; informing them that it would be possible to view the aurora borealis from anywhere in the UK.

Unfortunately, this extraordinary alert was withdrawn just four hours later when it was discovered that a groundskeeper driving a sit-on lawnmower had disturbed the readings of a local magnetometer.

But Wait! There’s More! 0

Now! at Donald’s Discount Emporium.

TSA Security Theatre 0

Send in the clowns.

Life Imitates Art 0

Eric Blumberg remembers Ionesco’s The Leader.

One of Ionesco’s least known works is The Leader, a short play about the anticipated arrival of The Leader. During the play, the Announcer broadcasts everything The Leader is doing prior to his onstage appearance. At last, The Leader comes on stage whereupon one of the cast notices he doesn’t have a head. Yet, this abnormality makes no difference to his followers since they know “he’s got genius.” The play also includes a secondary theme, which ultimately points to society’s inability to communicate effectively.

Follow the link to see what brought it to mind.

No Beauties Need Apply 0

You can’t make this stuff up.

This, by the by, is nothing new.