2009 archive
Still Lying after All These Years 0
“Saddam might . . . strike again”?
Saddam never struck the first time.
Glomarization sums it up:
She left out, “Every time.”
“Mark to Market” Redux (Updated) 0
Proponents of abolishing or modifying the rules say that assets owned by troubled banks have become impossible to value, as the market for these assets have disappeared due to the financial crisis. Uncertainty about what banks such as Citigroup Inc. are worth, they argue, is at the core of the financial crisis.
However, opponents of any changes contend that the rules are necessary because shareholders deserve to understand the troubled state of banks. Banks could provide fuzzy accounting and commit fraud without the standard, they say.
The reason that financial types want to abolish or modify the rules as regards “assets owned by troubled banks (that) have become impossible to value” is that they do not want to admit that those “impossible to value” assets can indeed be valued.
They are bleedin’ worthless.
Tell me, would you buy a share in a “securitized mortgage-based bond”?
Of course not. Neither will anyone else.
In a capitalist system (regulated or not), something that no one will buy is something that is worthless.
As soon as balance sheets are altered to show that that crap is really crap, it will be obvious that the Masters of the Universe who hung their hats on those securitized boxes of air–and their companies–are worthless. Those “assets” have no intrinsic value and are not worth a bucket of warm spit.
So of course the Masters of the Universe want to change the rules.
Lack of transparency is their best friend.
Addendum:
The Huffington Post has more.
[EDITORIAL MODE ON]
(As if it were ever off in these parts.)
Didn’t I call it? These guys couldn’t run a Girl Scout cookie stand. If they did, the customers would get home to find their cookie boxes full of air, even though the balance sheet said “Thin Mints.”
[EDITORIAL MODE OFF]
“Give Him Letter No. 45” 2
Having worked in a complaint department, I have nothing against using standard replies to common complaints. There really are only so many ways to say that “We’re sorry that the train was [late, broken, crowded, going north instead of south–it was awfully hard not to send the “why didn’t you listen to the announcements bozo?” letter to those folks].”
The form letter, though, should match the letter to which it responds. Don’t send the broken air conditioning letter to the I-didn’t-like-the-mustard guy.
So when I notify eBay of a phishing attempt with the subject line, “phishing attempt,” they should respond with something more on point than this:
Thanks for forwarding the suspicious message you received. The email you reported did not come from PayPal or eBay. It was a fake, often called a “spoof” or “phishing” email. (That’s “phishing,” as in “fishing” for personal information.) Our security teams are working to disable any websites it links to.
I knew it was a phishing attempt, for Pete’s sake. That’s why I sent it to you. A simple “thanks for your report” would have been fine. Actually, nothing would have been fine. But a tutorial in elementary how-to-spot-a-phishing-attempt was a bit–er–under the top.
(Ebay’s lame automated responses to the contrary, it’s a good idea to forward such stuff to them at spoof@ebay.com. They do compile the reports and try to get the sources shut down.)
International Legality 0
Moving back towards sanity:
The “enemy combatant” classification was created out of whole cloth with the sole purpose of evading the Laws of War.
It was nothing more than a cover story for concentration camps.
It is good to see it going away.
Word of the Day 0
From BuzzWhack (follow the link to sign up for the buzzword of the day).
Presenting concepts that look good in PowerPoint but don’t work technically. In 2004, NASA was chided for too much PowerPoint engineering and that they should (go–sic) back to writing full reports, not just bulleted slides.
PowerPoint in the hands of empty suits is evil. It has been my unfortunate experience that too many suits are empty.
Numerology 0
H/T Alison for the link.
Waste of Electrons 0
A email for lil ole me? From my zombie mortgage company? With “Confidential” in the subject line?
Better look.
Swiftly Flow the Words . . . 0
Jon Swift brings conservative clarity to the discussion of unwed teenaged mothers. As with any of Mr. Swift’s essays, a full reading well repays the effort. A nugget:
Why is Bristol Palin different? She is different because she is a conservative.
It’s different when unmarried teenage mothers come from conservative, wealthy Christian families. Although it would be preferable if her child had a father, even a white trash one, she will still be able to raise her child with the kinds of values that liberals, poor people, gays and non-Christians would not be able to give to their little bastard children who are destined to become our future criminals. Why are conservatives so reluctant to point out this obvious fact?
No One Could Have Predicted . . . 0
. . . except for those who did.
One of the Simple(ton) Tools: the Lever 0
I have discussed “leverage” before.
It is the practice of buying stuff with money you don’t have, holding on to it for a while, and then selling it for more than you paid for it, so you can pay off the money you borrowed to make the initial purchase and keep the difference.
Until recently, being “deeply in debt” was bad, but being “highly leveraged” was good, at least on Wall Street. The primary difference seems to be that normal working folks were “deeply in debt”; persons with private jets were “highly leveraged.”
Sort of like Flip This House, only it was Flip This Company. Problem is, it only works as long as the bubble keeps expanding.
Not so much expansion any more:
Boston-based Bain isn’t the only leveraged buyout firm trying to bail out its investments. Apollo Management LP and Blackstone Group LP are employing an arsenal of tools, including debt exchanges and equity infusions, to rescue leveraged buyouts, such as Freescale Semiconductor Inc. and Realogy Corp. After spending a record $1.2 trillion on acquisitions during 2006 and 2007, LBO firms are now focused on deal-saving, not dealmaking.
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“vi-li-fi-ca-tion” 0
1 : the act of vilifying : abuse
2 : an instance of vilifying : a defamatory utterance
Backtracking:
1 : to lower in estimation or importance
2 : to utter slanderous and abusive statements against : defame
Bloomberg:
Dictionary of Frank:
vi-li-fy
to make a villain of
Too late. No one can do it to them. Did it to themselves.
These bozos just don’t see what they have done with their boxes of air.
They still think they are the Masters of the Universe, as opposed to the buffoons of wankery bankery.
Well, Natch 0
They give good value for the money, but who’s buying new clothes these days?
Call Your Doctor Now 2
Wyeth not, indeed. You may have the Bristol-Meyers Stomp and need Squibb:
Seen on the Street 0
Connecticut License Plate
NEWZLND
Long way from home, I wot.
Five Myths about Computer Security 2
Here. If you use a computer (and, if you are reading this, you do), read it.
In a Nutshell 0
John Cole summarizes Republican Economic Theory:
Step 1: No tax increases
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Profit!Why not, I guess. It worked so well for California.
The missing Step Two: Deregulation.