From Pine View Farm

Cavalcade of Spots 0

J. D. Hansard is tired of being pursued by relentless bearers of benighted bargains. A snippet:

A thing that never happened in those days (when he was growing up–ed.), not even once, was a call from a person trying to sell us something. My wife, who is phone literate, has instructed our phone to block most calls. A blocked call will result in only two rings. During prime times of the day, our phone will ring approximately every four minutes — almost all of them blocked. We receive about 50 blocked calls per day. Folks are desperate to sell us stuff.

Our phone is like a nest of chiggers. When I was a kid and went blackberry picking, I might come home with 20 itchy chigger bites. They tormented me — like the phone does now.

In this household, the situation is so bad that we no longer answer the landline (yes, we have a landline for the fax–remember faxes?–and for the 911 call we hope will never happen). If you care about us, you care enough to leave a message, which we then ignore if it’s not from a real live human being.

I can also tell you that if the Caller ID shows “Private,” “Unavailable,” or “Unknown,” your call goes unanswered. If you don’t want us to know who you are, you have declared yourself ipso facto untrustworthy.

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