Gunnuttery category archive

Party politely.

It happened just before 5 p.m. in the 9000 block of North 247th near Mount Hope. One person was taken to the hospital. By 9 p.m., he had returned to the party, Sedgwick County Lt. Tim Myers said.

No alcohol was involved.

The men had placed some Tannerite (a brand of explosive target–ed.) in a wood cabinet and shot it, Myers said. The explosion caused the debris to hit the injured man.

The stupid. It burns.

Getting playful with his portable penis . . . .

Jamie McLaughlin, 31, is charged with attempted murder, felonious assault, three counts of abduction, assault, a gun charge, two counts of aggravated menacing and receiving stolen property.

His girlfriend, Mary Neace, 28, was seriously injured when she was shot in the torso. The trigger was pulled during what police had described as “amorous role-playing.”

The grand jury didn’t buy the playful part.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. More bullets than brains.

Get the drop on politeness.

Lee Co. Coroner Bill Harris tells News 3, it appears 19-year old Barry Anderson the third was shot and killed while he was playing with a gun and dropped it, causing it to discharge.

Practice politeness in a festive manner.

A 30-year-old man was transported by ambulance Friday night from Country Jam to St. Mary’s Medical Center after a self-inflicted shooting that is being investigated by law enforcement.

The shooting was an isolated incident, according to Mesa County Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Megan Terlecky.

“We believe it was accidental, but we’re still investigating,” she said, noting that they are looking into how the gun came to be at the festival.

Really, they’re wondering how the gun got there? No doubt it purchased a ticket and walked in through the front gate.

Furrfu.

Seal your friendships with politeness.

Davenport and his friend, Joshua L. Wray, 26, were watching television together at the time of the shooting, according to Detective Ivory Sandefur of the North Vernon Police Department.

Wray was also manipulating* a Smith & Wesson handgun he had just purchased when the firearm accidentally fired and struck Davenport in the face, Richmond said.

The story goes on to say that authorities are not considering charges at this time, I reckon because the gun somehow mysteriously fired itself. Bad gun! Bad!

___________________

*Methinks they misplet “masturbating.”

Exercise courtesy whilst employing your motorized conveyance.

The Westminster (Colorado–ed.) Police Department responded around 3 p.m. local time to reports of a shooting, it said in a press release late Thursday. Officers discovered two adults and two children suffering from gunshot wounds in the parking lot of a business complex.

All of the victims were taken to a hospital, but a young boy died as a result of his injuries.

After several hours, police said they had located and arrested the accused shooter, who they identified as 23-year-old Jeremy Webster. Police said he was a stranger to the victims.

(snip)

“It appears as if this incident stemmed from a road rage,” the news release said.

Demonstrate politeness to those in transit.

Four cars were struck by gunfire on State Route 509 near Sea-Tac Airport at about 2 p.m. Wednesday, the Washington State Patrol said.

No injuries were reported.

Politeness takes practice.

A man suffered a gunshot wound Sunday afternoon at a Lincoln County gun range.

According to a statement sent out by Sheriff Rene Rodriguez, deputies were dispatched to the public gun range for a report of an person who was shot while conducting training.

Read more »

Another responsible gun owner demonstrates responsibility in the way that only responsible gun owners can.

According to a close family friend speaking on behalf of Keegan’s family, Keegan was shot in the back with a 9 millimeter pistol.

Fisher County Sheriff Allan Arnwine said that the shooter had just killed a non-poisonous snake and when the man reloaded his gun, he accidentally shot Keegan.

Seal your friendships with politeness.

A Silver Lake boy was killed Thursday when he was accidentally shot in the chest by his best friend, according to the Lake County District Attorney’s Office.

Politeness is essential to a successful dining out experience.

The victim said Kenneth Reese, 21, of Houston, and a woman walked into the fast food restaurant as the business was closing.

When the employee refused to serve the pair, Reese reportedly became upset and made a comment about “shooting this place up”.

Officials say as the pair was leaving, Reese pointed a gun at the employee.

A short time later, a different officer responded to an accident at Rock Prairie Road and State Highway 6, which authorities determined also involved Reese.

Via Job’s Anger.

Politeness is a family value.

The Pratt County Sheriff’s Office is investigating the accidental shooting of a 5-year-old girl Wednesday morning in the southeast part of the county.

The sheriff’s office says the girl’s brother accidentally fired the single shot that hit her in the left arm. One adult was home at the time of the shooting, the sheriff’s office says.

No mention is made of the age of the brother, but the wording at the link above and in Pratt County’s local rag gives the impression that he not very old.

A recipe for politeness at the confluence of guns and stupid:

Warren police say Garlock put the gun in the broiler because children were coming over.

His girlfriend, unaware of the gun’s presence, turned on the oven Sunday to bake. Police say she called out to Garlock when she thought she heard a gunshot fired outside. Police say Garlock was struck by bullets or bullet fragments when they exploded inside the gun.

The person who wrote the story decided to be all cutesy-poo and point out that “no charges have been filed against the oven,” but, then, it wasn’t the oven that was stupid and negligent was it?

It wasn’t the girlfriend, either. How many of you open the oven door to check for weaponry before turning on the broiler?

Fuffu.

Get a load of the politeness:

Police say the 24-year-old woman and a 25-year-old man were staying at Hotel 116 near downtown Bellevue.

She told investigators that the man was playing around with a handgun and she had told him to stop. He reportedly told her not to worry because the gun was unloaded. At one point, he put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

It was loaded.

Dancing a jig of politeness . . . .

Jackson says the (off-duty FBI–ed.) agent, whose identity wasn’t released, was dancing at the downtown club around 12:45 a.m. Saturday when the firearm fell from the agent’s waistband holster onto the floor. It discharged when the agent picked it up.