Gunnuttery category archive

Be polite to your neighbors.

Police say a 25-year-old Lancaster County man is facing charges after he accidentally shot his neighbor.

Police say the man was about to clean the gun, when it fired, sending a bullet through the wall and striking the woman living next door in the head.

Police say the victim was shot in the head while laying next to her husband.

And another gun that mysteriously fired itself . . . .

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together live love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Addendum:

We got talking about these “I was cleaning my gun” shootings during my quarterly visit to the barbershop. Those of us who know how handle firearms find them puzzling.

As I drove away, I realized that, in many cases, “cleaning my gun” is likely a euphemism for “having ammosexual relations with my gun.”

Politeness builds strong relationships.

The 21-year-old woman told responders that her boyfriend had accidentally shot her while he was unloading his gun. She was taken to the hospital with injuries described as life-threatening.

While she was being treated, police found her 24-year-old boyfriend dead from an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Cleanliness is next to politeness.

Cookeville (Tenn.–ed.) police said 28-year-old Jared Sidwell was cleaning a .40 caliber handgun Friday when it accidentally discharged.

The bullet passed through Sidwell’s left hand and shot 30-year-old Jeremy Sidwell in the right arm.

Anyone who is too stupid to ensure a gun is unloaded before starting to clean it is ipso facto too stupid to be allowed near a gun.

Q. E. D.

Be polite to your neighbors.

Parents now shaken with fear after a bullet came through their wall Thursday night grazing 11-month-old– Sam Henderson Jr. in the leg. Police say it happened at Cedar Glen apartments in South Bend around 8:20 pm.

ABC 57 News spoke with the regional manager of the complex who says it all happened when a neighbor had his gun out.

“This accident occurred on our property but as we understand it that you know this is gentleman cleaning his gun and it accidentally discharged,” said Brooke Davis, Regional Property Manager.

Stupid is a condition, not an excuse.

There is no jail term long enough for this amount of stupid.

Furrfu.

Be prepared for politeness while proceeding speedily.

The motorcycle was traveling west on New Haven Avenue in Melbourne about 5:30 p.m. Thursday, carrying a male driver and a female passenger. For unknown reasons, the driver lost control and hit the curb, a spokesperson from the Florida Highway Patrol said.

Both the driver and passenger were ejected in the crash. A firearm the driver was carrying in a holster on his hip discharged, striking the man in the leg as he tumbled from the bike, troopers said.

I guess safeties are things of the past.

Share the politeness.

Two women in their twenties and a young girl suffered gunshot wounds in their legs in West Valley City Wednesday afternoon, and a suspect is now in custody.

(snip)

“He was just passing through and started to shoot,” he said of the suspect. “He shot my wife and my daughter.”

Boys and their toys . . . .

According to court documents, Smith gave Brymer the airsoft gun after shooting him twice in the back, and Brymer tucked it in his front pocket next to his real handgun.

Brymer then mistook the real gun for the airsoft gun and shot Smith.

Smith was transported to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

Be polite to your neighbors.

Police say the 27-year-old woman was cleaning her gun about 1 a.m. Monday and pulled the trigger, firing a round through the floor and into the apartment below.

Authorities say the bullet struck a dresser near where a man was sitting. He wasn’t hurt.

In a somewhat unusual note, charges are pending.

Be polite in public discourse.

Authorities say a man found a handgun on the floor at a town hall forum hosted by U.S. Rep. Derek Kilmer at Olympic College.

The Kitsap Sun reports no one was injured during the Thursday event.

The story goes on the report that the fumble-fingers who dropped his portable penis “sheepishly” returned to retrieve it.

Via Job’s Anger.

Politeness is a family value.

She died at Miami Valley Hospital. However, an emergency Caesarean section saved the life of her unborn child.

Marsh’s boyfriend, 25-year-old Travis Hypes, claimed to police they had been in an argument that evolved into a shoving match. He said he pulled out a pistol at one point in the altercation and it fired by accident when Marsh shoved him again.

Balloon Juice.

Politeness takes a fall.

Deputy Marvin Simpson and Cpl. Joe Thomas responded to Brownwood Regional Medical Center and spoke with a man who had been shot in the leg and a witness. A handgun fell out of a waist holster the victim was wearing, struck the ground and discharged a round.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

A 20-year-old man died early Saturday morning when a semi-automatic handgun he was showing a friend accidentally discharged, hitting the man in the chest, authorities said.

Whatever happened to “don’t point the gun at something unless you intend to shoot it”?

Be polite at the party.

Police are investigating after a woman apparently shot and wounded her 5-year-old daughter at a party in suburban Chicago.

Police officials in Lansing, Illinois, say their initial investigation found the mother was handling a gun when it went off early Monday, striking the sleeping girl.

Just another day in our little slice of NRA heaven.