Gunnuttery category archive

Yet another “responsible gun owner” feels constrained to expose his portable phallus to a fellow driver.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Speaking of that daily oxymoron, “responsible gun owner” . . . .

Deputies with the Levy County Sheriff’s Office (LCSO) said a 5-year-old child is dead and an adult female is in critical condition following their response to gunshots at an Inglis home Thursday night.

(snip)

The initial investigation determined two children were playing in a room.

One child accessed an unsecured firearm and the gun, a 9mm Glock, accidentally discharged.

Those oxymoronic “responsible gun owners” just can’t stop playing with their portable phalluses, can they?

This time, politeness goes to the cats.

Downtown Thomasville (Georgia–ed.) is a place known for its charm and history, but now it’s the center of an unsettling crime—someone is shooting cats.

We are a broken society.

Yet another oxymoronic “responsible gun owner” performs a random act of politeness.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

(Yeah, I know, my little ditty gets old. So does the stupid.)

Once again, politeness goes to the dogs.

More neighborly politeness.

We are a broken society.

It does rather take one aback how those “responsible gun owners” just cannot seem to resist the temptation to play with their portable phalluses.

Yet another “responsible gun owner” feels empowered to display his portable phallus on the nation’s highways.

We are a society of stupid.

Yet another oxymoronic “responsible gun owner” exposes a child to politeness.

During their investigation, authorities learned a 26-year-old man who lived in the home with the boy’s mother and three other kids, kept a loaded gun under the pillow in the bedroom they all shared, according to the complaint.

The man told police he heard the gunshot after leaving the boy alone in the room to bring a plate into the kitchen, authorities said.

Celebrate your team’s playoff victory with politeness.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Another improperly stored gun.

Another wounded child.

Another day in NRA paradise.

Police said the boy was with an 11-year-old friend when they threw a snowball at a car.

That was when the car turned around and shot the 12-year-old multiple times, according to police.

Lieutenant Aaron Boisvert said, “Thank God [his injuries were] non-life-threatening. Could’ve been a lot worse.”

We are society suffering from self-inflicted lead poisoning.

And, as we all know, a polite society is a clean society.

One more time, “responsible gun owner” is an oxymoron.

When persons come seeking help after an automobile accident, greet them with politeness.

We are a broken society.

Yet another child . . . .

Police in Grand Rapids say a 3-year-old was taken to the hospital Saturday after apparently shooting and injuring themselves accidentally.

I will concede that a toddler may indeed have shot him- or herself “accidentally,” because a toddler would likely not understand the consequence of picking up a portable phallus, but someone’s negligence allowed him or her to do so.

We must needs hold oxymoronic “responsible gun owners” responsible.

But we won’t, for we are a society of stupid enraptured by our portable phalluses.

It is generally considered not a good idea to play with one’s portable phallus.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Yet another child . . . .

And again we are reminded that “accidental” and “negligent” are not synonyms.