Gunnuttery category archive

Practice makes polite.

Investigators say a St. Johns County man was killed by a “long distance shot.”

It happened at a trailer down a dirt road off State Road 16 in an area with a lot of trees and open land around it.

A family member went to check the property and discovered 51-year-old Chester Ratliff’s body on July 30, according to the St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office.

Investigators believe it was an “accidental” shooting.

(snip)

Several neighbors told Action News Jax it’s not uncommon for people in this area to shoot target practice in their backyards.

Yippee-ki-yi-yay! Be polite to bovines!

Local cattle ranches in Eddy County were plagued in recent months by the fatal shootings of several cows.

On Wednesday, the Eddy County Sheriff’s Office announced another six cattle on two separate properties were shot and killed.

Investigators were called to the scene on Aug. 1 in the 600 block of Angel Ranch Road, police said.

The cows were found dead at the scene from gunshot wounds, read an Eddy County Sheriff’s Office news release.

Fly the politely.

Transportation Security Administration agents said they found a loaded gun in a carry-on bag at Boston’s Logan International Airport, leading to the arrest of a passenger.

Officials said the gun was found in Kyle Maguire’s luggage at 6 a.m. Wednesday at a security checkpoint inside Terminal A.

The polite one has several conceal-carry licenses, but none or valid in Massachusetts or aboard airliners.

(Link fixed. That’s two missing links in two days. I wonder what’s next–maybe Piltdown man.)

Politeness is child’s play.

Police say the boy’s parents walked out of the room momentarily when the boy picked up a loaded gun.

He accidentally shot and killed himself, according to police.

Per the NRA, had there been more guns in the house, no doubt this would not have happened.

BadTux has the story.

Practice makes polite.

Chief Deputy Naldo Gagnon said the victim, 20-year-old Chance Gallant, had been target shooting with five male friends, all in their early 20s.

Gagnon said Gallant was shot after one of the rifles being used by the young men jammed. As two of them tried to fix the weapon, it discharged, striking Gallant in the chest.

Whatever you do, don’t give politeness the finger.

Police in eastern Idaho say a 49-year-old Rexburg man accidentally shot off his middle finger.

Rexburg police tell KIFI-TV that the man didn’t think the gun was loaded when he pulled the trigger on the .44-caliber handgun at about 12:20 a.m. Friday.

Aside:

I was taught to assume that every gun is loaded.

The stupid. It burns.

More random acts of responsible politeness . . . .

Captain Randy Lewis said the man got out of his pickup and a shotgun fell onto the ground and discharged. A pellet struck a 31-year-old man standing at the pay station in the back. He was not seriously hurt.

The elderly driver calmly paid his bill and drove off.

Leave politeness about your path.

A girl was accidentally shot in the shoulder by a friend at Brooke Mill Apartments in Ridgeland, Jasper County Sheriffs Office reports and officials said.

(snip)

Malphrus said the teens discovered a 9mm Springfield Armory XDS semi-automatic handgun inside a nightstand drawer.

One girl was in the bathroom when the gun went off in another room, Malphrus said. He said the bullet went through the bathroom door and hit the victim in the shoulder.

Had there been more guns lying about, no doubt this would not have happened. At least, I suspect that is what the NRA would say, as “more guns” is always their solution.

Show off your politeness.

Comments from a 911 caller indicate that the fatal shooting of a woman at a southwestern Ohio hotel happened by accident while a man was showing her a gun.

The story goes on to say that, in this case, the politeness was fatal.

The stupid.

It burns.

Practice random acts of politeness.

An Arkansas man was hospitalized Sunday when he was hit by a stray bullet while in an area of Tulsa County near the Arkansas River that target shooters frequent.

About 2 p.m., Tulsa County sheriff’s deputies received a report a man had been shot in the back at a home in the 14500 block of West 19th Street, near Sand Springs, spokeswoman Casey Roebuck said.

Surveillance footage from the home and witness reports indicate no one was in the backyard when the man was shot, leading deputies to believe the shot was fired yards away, Roebuck said.

Play politely.

Police are investigating a fatal shooting in a Pittsburgh neighborhood that is being referred to as accidental.

Police said two men were playing around with a gun in a basement-level room when the gun accidentally went off, killing one of them.

Florida man phones in politeness:

Police said utility workers were working on lines near the home when 64-year-old Jorge Jove approached them on Wednesday morning. Jove was apparently upset because the trucks were parked in front of his home, officials told WSVN.

The workers told the man they would move the trucks after the work was completed. The man then went inside his home and came back out with a gun and started shooting at the tires.

Yet more familial politeness . . . .

According to investigators, the child’s 29-year-old stepfather was showing a 9mm pistol to three of his children when the weapon discharged accidentally.

The bullet grazed a nine-year-old in the chest and then hit the boy’s arm.

Politeness is a family value.

A 15-year-old female was airlifted from Henrieville to Salt Lake City Sunday night after her younger brother allegedly shot her in the back during what police are calling an “altercation.” Garfield County Sheriff Danny Perkins said the male juvenile was around 12 or 13-years-old but he was unsure of his exact age.

Aside:

Have you noticed how, in police-speak, once someone has been exposed to politeness, he or she is no longer a “man” or a “woman” or a “boy” or a “girl,” but rather becomes an impersonal “male” or a “female”?

Fly the polite skies (emphasis added to highlight prima facie evidence that some persons are too stupid to be allowed weaponry).

For the 13th time this year, a passenger was found with a gun in carry-on luggage at Sacramento International Airport.

(snip)

The passenger told authorities that he had borrowed his mother’s bag and the firearm belonged to her, according to the TSA. It is not known if he was arrested.

The TSA discovered 78 firearms in carry-on bags the same week at airports around the country. Of those, 62 were loaded and 32 had a round chambered.

It is polite to throw your grandchildren under the bus. Politeness must be a Family Value.

Originally, both grandparents stated that their 10-year-old grandson shot the pistol twice after being asked to retrieve it for the grandfather. One of the rounds ended up hitting the grandfather in the leg.

But the investigation continued and deputies managed to interview the 10-year-old boy after his mother contacted them.

The boy stated that his grandparents were arguing which led to Hawkins getting the pistol and shooting towards her husband. The boy told deputies that his grandmother “did not mean to” shoot his grandfather.

You can’t make this stuff up, at least, you can’t if you are sane.

Always be polite when attending the show.

According to the Adams County Sheriff’s Office, one man was shot while attending the Tanner Gun Show Saturday,

Witnesses told CBS4’s Dillon Thomas the man was shot by another attendee, unintentionally.

“There was a bang, and then a gentleman screamed,” one witness, who wished not to be identified, said. “I saw a man bleeding from the lower right leg.”

The story goes on to say that one of the persons present suggested that the remedy for such incidents is always to have a first aid kit handy because you never know when some gun nut will shoot another gun nut because stupid.

The stupid.

It burns.

Practice courtesy on the nation’s byways,

Robert Charles Lay III, 34, of Friendswood, reported the hit-and-run and followed the other vehicle involved as he was on the phone with the dispatcher. The dispatcher asked Lay to stop, since the license plate he provided had matched the vehicle description.

But, Lay did not stop, Click 2 Houston reported police as saying. He followed the other driver into Pearland where he ran the hit-and-run driver off the road and shot out a tire on the car.

“Friendswood.”

Yeah.

Right.

Politeness builds strong families.

Deputies say after the father was finished shooting, the 5-year-old was standing in the back of the pickup near the back window of the truck. The father was putting his rifle away in the cab of the truck when it accidentally went off. The bullet went through the back window of the truck and hit the boy in the lower part of his neck.

Think about this.

He’s “putting his rifle away” with a chambered shell and with the safety off (if indeed it has a safety)–oh, never mind. Those portable penises do seem to have minds of their own.