Gunnuttery category archive

Be polite to your romantic partners.

Investigators say 19-year-old Jacob Lara and his 16-year-old girlfriend were apparently trying to make his handgun safe at around 12:20 a.m. Friday when the weapon accidentally fired while she held it.

Just another day in NRA lovers’ paradise.

Aside:

The story says the case is going to be referred to a grand jury to decide whether to press charge. Given that, according to the rules of English grammar, the gun clearly fired itself, why the referral is left hanging.

More polite play:

The boy was in the kitchen, where he was apparently playing with a 9 millimeter handgun and it went off, hitting him in the chest. It’s still unclear to whom the gun belongs, whether it was properly secured or how the boy got hold of it.

Thus passeth another day in NRA paradise, where the right to unending carnage shall not be infringed.

Play politely.

Neighbors in Crescent Hill are breathing a sigh of relief that an accidental shooting ended the way it did. Police said a 13-year-old boy was shot in the leg while he and a 15-year-old were playing with a gun. . . .

Police are not releasing information about how the boys got a hold of the gun but they say the 13-year-old is expected to be okay, which Norwood said is a relief but she hopes others will be more careful.

Be polite to your visitors.

Police say the victim, 31-year-old Emily Acelin, arrived at a local hospital around 10 p.m. Saturday with a gunshot wound to her thigh. Acelin told police she was at a house party when the host accidentally shot her.

But a police investigation revealed that Acelin was visiting McCann at his home when the shooting occurred. Police say McCann accidentally shot Acelin while removing a handgun from his waistband.

Politeness toddles along.

Police say officers were called to 503-B Battle St. around 10 a.m. Sunday and found the child with a single gunshot wound. The 3-year-old was rushed to Vidant Medical Center “with injuries that appear to be non-life-threatening,” Deputy Chief Ted D. Sauls said.

No word yet on whether this was another gun that mysteriously fired itself or whether it had an accomplice.

Celebrate politely.

Sheriff’s deputies say Rushton was celebrating the night of July 1 when he, his son, his son’s 18-year-old friend, and three other people decided to go shooting. According to charging papers, they were driving up a dirt road when Rushton started shooting out the truck’s windows.

Pellets hit the 18-year-old’s cheek, eye and arm. Relatives said his condition was improving but that he is now blind in one eye.

If you are polite, ignorance can be an excuse (emphasis added).

The incident occurred at about 11 p.m. Wednesday at the alleged shooter’s residence in Gregory. Dostal was kept in Mitchell overnight due to inclement weather but was transported Thursday to a Sioux Falls hospital for treatment, according to the Gregory County Sheriff’s Office. He is in stable condition.

Gregory County Sheriff Tim Drey said he has not finished speaking with the alleged shooter but believes the incident was accidental, saying the man who owned the handgun was “just somebody who didn’t know how to handle a firearm.”

The story goes on to say that a decision about possible charges has yet to be made, but never mind it was an accident.

In related news, Funny or Die has obtained the NRA’s Guide to Guys with Guns.

Teach your children well.

“The victim (a 43-year old woman–ed.) was visiting family over the weekend and was being taught how to shoot a firearm by her father,” Vlahakis said in an email Tuesday. “While her father was handling the firearm and instructing her on the operation of the firearm, the gun discharged, striking his daughter in the pelvis.”

She clearly picked the wrong teacher, along with yet another gun that fires itself.

Vengeance is mine, sayeth the polite.

The 48-year-old man from Macomb Township suffered an accidental gunshot wound to his hand when he was handling his 9 mm pistol, Mast said. The man was staying at the campground at 8239 W. Hazel Road.

“He then chose to fire off another round into the bed in the camper he was staying in because he was upset that he just wounded himself,” Mast said.

We are all safer when persons like this pack heat, are we not?

Via Southern Beale.

Parents, be polite to your children.

A teenager who died after a shooting at a Florida gun range on Sunday was killed accidentally by his father, police said Monday.

(snip)

“After firing a round, the spent shell casing struck the wall causing it to deflect and fall into the back of (the elder) Mr. Brumby’s shirt. Brumby then used his right hand, which was holding the handgun, in an attempt to remove the casing. While doing so, he inadvertently pointed the firearm directly behind him and accidently fired,” a police statement reads.

“Accidentally”: the new negligently.

Via Job’s Anger.

Politeness starts stops at a young age (emphasis added).

A 3-year-old boy was fatally wounded in an accidental shooting Friday in Clarksville, according to police.

Clarksville officers responded to a 911 call on Samantha Lane. In a statement, police said the boy accidentally shot himself in the head with a .40 caliber pistol, but police did not say how he got ahold of the firearm, which belongs to the homeowner.

Thus passeth another day in NRA’s Eden of Execution.

Aside:

“Fatally wounded.” That’s telling it like it is, now, is it not?

Practice random acts of politeness.

Surry County deputies said Vue was working in a rice garden with her husband when she was hit by an apparent stray bullet. Deputies believe the bullet came from somewhere in the neighborhood, but nobody has come forward.

A fresh load of politeness . . .

The chief said family members told investigators that Nicholas was target shooting with his father in the yard before the shooting.

He said police believe Nicholas was reloading his small-caliber gun when it went off and struck him (in the head–ed.).

Nicholas was flown to a Pittsburgh-area hospital. His condition was unknown.

. . . and another gun that fires itself.

The police chief is quoted as saying that the kid’s pointing the gun at his head while reloading it is somehow “a tragic accident.”

This polite fellow’s Jeep still runs on leaded fool.

The man brought his Jeep in to the dealership to be serviced. He was placing personal belongings into the bag and while doing so, one of the handguns inside the bag discharged, with a round striking him, police said in a release.

The owner of the guns has not been confirmed. Police said in a release “it is not clear at this time why the subject felt it necessary to be in possession of two handguns.”

Addendum, the Next Morning:

The driver in question was an ex-NFL football player with a history of ammosexuality.