Gunnuttery category archive

Yet another oxymoronic “responsible gun owner” feels compelled to flaunt his portable phallus.

Once again, playing with portable phalluses leads to a discharge. (Syntax error atoned for.)

Waukegan Deputy Police Chief Scott Chastain said the two juveniles were handling firearms and pointing the weapons at each other when the 17-year-old accidentally shot the 14-year-old in the stomach at about 8 p.m. in the 1300 clock of Walnut Street.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Another child . . . .

One more time, “accident” and “negligence” are not synonyms, and law enforcement should stop pretending that they are.

He is bullish on politeness.

A McDonough County teen was arrested on Tuesday after admitting to shooting livestock and being involved in a road rage incident in McDonough County.

(snip)

The complainant told the McDonough County Central Dispatch that they suspected four of their bulls had been shot. When deputies and detectives arrived on the scene, two of the four bulls had died. Two other bulls had been shot and the owner was tending to their injuries.

A cliche comes to life.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Yet another “responsible gun owner” feels it necessary to brandish his portable phallus while passing on the pavement.

Party with politeness.

Yet another oxymoronic “responsible gun owner” performs random acts of politeness.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Politeness goes to the dog.

Yet more evidence that “responsible gun owner” is an oxymoron.

We are again reminded that politeness is a family value.

Yet another child . . . .

We are a society of stupid.

When playing with a gun becomes gun play . . . .

Geiger told police “she and Osborne were engaged in harmless banter when he jokingly requested she shoot him,” police wrote in the sworn statement.

Geiger said she thought her “firearm was empty, pointed the weapon at Osborne and pulled the trigger.”

Too many guns. Too much stupid.

Yet another “responsible gun owner” shares his politeness with a child.

A man was arrested after authorities say a 5-year-old girl found a gun and accidentally shot herself at a home in northwest Harris County overnight Sunday.

The girl was taken to a hospital and underwent surgery. She is currently in fair condition and is expected to survive her injuries.

One more time, “responsible gun owner” is an oxymoron.

Ring in the harvest with politeness.

We are a broken society.

And what’s the lowest common denominator?

It’s not the stupid.

It’s the guns.

Yet another “responsible gun owner” feels it proper to proffer his portable phallus to a passer-by on the pavement.

So many guns. So much stupid.

Another case of neighborly politeness . . . . .

Police responded to a report of shots fired. They say the caller told them a bullet had traveled into the apartment through an adjacent wall from another unit.

They went to the other apartment and talked with the shooter who told them it was accidental and no one in that apartment was injured.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

And, again, politeness becomes childs’ play.

Shower your wife with politeness.

Officers learned a 35-year-old man was cleaning his newly purchased gun and “manipulating it” when he accidentally fired, Shaddow said.

he round went through a door jamb and into the shower, hitting his 26-year-old wife in the shoulder, according to Shaddow.

One more time, “responsible gun owner” is an oxymoron.

We are again reminded that politeness is a family value.

Too many guns. Too much stupid.

If you reduced the number of the guns, you would still have the stupid.

But you might achieve that elusive goal of a “well-regulated militia” that seems to have faded from memory . . . .