Gunnuttery category archive

Yet another “responsible gun owner” feels compelled to expel the contents of his portable phallus at a fellow driver.

Once again, politeness becomes child’s play.

As we all know, one must practice one’s politeness.

One more time, “responsible gun owner” is an oxymoron.

Yet another “responsible gun owner” performs a random act of politeness.

As you prepare to board public transit, demonstrate politeness to your fellow riders.

The victim said he was at the bus stop preparing to board when he was pushed from behind by Mays. He said he turned around and pushed Mays back, after which Mays shot him one time in the chest.

So many guns. So much stupid.

And politeness, it appears, provokes panic.

The noise that spooked spring breakers at Daytona Beach and caused a massive stampede over the weekend was not gunshots, the sheriff revealed Monday.

The panic-causing sound had a much more mundane origin: people crushing water bottles.

Welcome to life in the NRA’s Garden of Bleedin’.

Yet another “responsible gun owner” feels constrained to discharge his portable phallus whilst traversing the nation’s highways.

One more time, “responsible gun owner” is an oxymoron.

According to the Escambia County (Florida–ed.) Sheriff’s Office, someone was cleaning a .45-caliber weapon that they thought to be unloaded. The weapon discharged, hitting the teen in the upper leg.

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Another “responsible gun owner.”

Another exposed portable phallus.

Another child treated in another emergency room.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You won’t find one without the other.

Another “responsible gun owner” exposes a portable phallus to a child.

The 10-year-old girl who died after she was shot in the parking lot of a Sonic drive-in on Tuesday was playing outside the family car, when an 8-year-old child inside the car picked up a gun and accidentally shot her, a Baton Rouge police spokesperson said.

So many guns. So much stupid.

I suspect I’m not the only one to be somewhat disconcerted by how many “responsible gun owners” are unaware that their portable phalluses are shoot their lo–oh, never mind.

Davis admitted that he and the victim were doing firearm drills, in which they would ‘quick draw’ their firearms and point the weapons at each other. Davis told law enforcement that he believed his gun was unloaded, pointed it at the victim and pulled the trigger, firing a round at the victim’s head, according to the probable cause affidavit.

Yet another “responsible gun owner” exposes a portable phallus to a child.

A Farmingville man was seriously injured during an accidental shooting inside his home on Saturday night, according to police.

Authorities say Geonard Wade handed a 15-year-old family member a shotgun that unintentionally discharged around 7:40 p.m.

A bullet struck the 51-year-old in the arm. . . .

A Quibble:

It was a shotgun. Shotguns shoot shot or slugs. They don’t shoot bullets.

And, as we all know, politeness takes practice.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You won’t find one without the other.

And, as we know, a polite society is a clean society.

According to the police report, He had just finished cleaning a stainless steel Smith & Wesson 686 Magnum .357 revolver. While holding the weapon in his left hand and cycling the cylinder to ensure it was clean, He stated he did not realize the firearm was loaded.

He reportedly pulled the trigger, firing a single round that struck his pointer finger.

Aside:

If he had just cleaned it, how the heck could he have not known that it was loaded.

For that matter, the first step in cleaning a gun is making sure it’s not loaded.

So many guns. So much stupid.

Yet another “responsible gun owmer” decides to shower persons traversing the nation’s highways and biways with random acts of politeness.

One of those “responsible gun owners” chooses to relieve his portable phallus in a public accommodation.

A man was arrested after reportedly discharging a firearm inside the men’s restroom of a truck stop in London (Kentucky–ed.).

The London Police Department said they determined Teall had fired a single round inside the restroom of a BP Truck Stop.

Another oxymoronic “responsible gun owner.”

Another exposed portable phallus.

Another child in another hospital.

We are a broken society willing to sacrifice its children on an altar of lead.

I’ve heard of lap dogs, but, really, lap guns? Not a good idea.

Investigators learned that a group of people were driving near Roberts Street when a man’s gun accidentally went off while in his lap.

That man was shot in the leg, and another man was shot in the knee.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You won’t find one without the other.

Yet another “responsible gun owner” feels free to flaunt his portable phallus at a fellow driver.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Yet again a “responsible gun owner” exposes a portable phallus to a child.

Police Chief Justin Lovvorn said the parents of the 5-year-old girl told officers they had just arrived home and were still sitting in the vehicle in the driveway when the child found the gun and it discharged.

Words fail me.