Gunnuttery category archive

Practice random acts of politeness.

Prince George’s County (Maryland–ed.) police are looking for the suspect or suspects responsible after a 14-year-old boy was struck by a stray bullet Thursday night while he was in his bedroom playing video games.

How stupid do you have to be not to ensure a gun is unloaded before you clean it?

Aside:

As I have pointed out before, I think that, in many incidents of this nature, “clean” serves as a synonym for “fondle.”

Politeness takes practice.

A South Carolina sheriff’s office is investigating after two children were shot by a family member.

According to the Greenville County Sheriff’s Office, the family member was doing target practice Sunday when the kids were hit.

Investigators say it appears to have been an accidental discharge.

Afterthought:

There is no such thing as an “accidental discharge” of a firearm.

There are only two kinds of firearms discharges: intentional and negligent.

Yet again, politeness becomes child’s play.

And thus passeth another day in NRA Eden.

One more time, “accidentally” and “negligently” are not synonyms.

Show politeness to your employees.

Investigators in Berkeley County say an employee at a gun store was fatally shot in the face after the store owner mistook a real gun for a BB gun.

Yet more politeness at the altar to acquisition.

According to police, the suspect took his mom’s gun from her vehicle and stuck it in his pants. The gun reportedly discharged in the parking lot in front of the Macy’s store and injured the teen in the leg. Nobody else was hurt in the incident.

Show your politeness to others.

The shooting happened at the Whataburger on Autry Pond around 3 a.m.

Officers say the victim was showing off a gun to a woman in the drive-thru of the restaurant. The woman was handling the gun when it went off and hit the man in the arm, police said.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Politeness proliferates in celebration of All Hallows’ Eve.

Demonstrate politeness when patronizing your local shrine to conspicuous consumption.

Greenwood Assistant Chief of Police Matthew Fillenwarth told 13News that a man was handling a gun in front of Pac Sun, one of the stores inside the mall, and it accidentally went off.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Another child . . . .

The two teenagers had been hunting together over the weekend. On Monday they were at a residence near Pinedale when one of the teens was handling a pistol that fired, Sheriff Steve Holton said.

. . . and, it would appear, another gun that somehow magically fired itself.

Demonstrate politeness to our canine companions.

This is beyond vile.

And another child bites the dust in NRA Paradise.

Politeness is a family value.

Fred Hensley Sr., 79, told police his son would not stop playing guitar. So, Hensley Sr. said he got his gun and threatened to shoot his son, the report from Blue Ash police explained.

The father said he wasn’t trying to hit his son, he only meant to shoot near him, Hensley Sr. told police.

Police found the gun, a spent shell casing, and the guitar with apparent bullet holes during their search of the home.

Party politely.

Get the drop on politeness.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

We are a failed state.

Show politeness to your neighbor when remonstrating with him about the behavior of his feline companion.

Clifford Anthony Bliss Jr., 58, became angry when the cat went into his yard Wednesday, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said.

He went to his neighbor’s home in Umatilla and threatened to shoot the cat, officials said.

James Arland Taylor Jr., 41, asked him not to shoot the cat, according to deputies. That’s when Bliss shot Taylor, they said.

Children should play politely.

Yet more random acts of politeness.

And thus passeth another day in the NRA’s Garden of Bleedin’.

Party politely.