Gunnuttery category archive

Show your politeness to others.

The shooting happened at the Whataburger on Autry Pond around 3 a.m.

Officers say the victim was showing off a gun to a woman in the drive-thru of the restaurant. The woman was handling the gun when it went off and hit the man in the arm, police said.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Politeness proliferates in celebration of All Hallows’ Eve.

Demonstrate politeness when patronizing your local shrine to conspicuous consumption.

Greenwood Assistant Chief of Police Matthew Fillenwarth told 13News that a man was handling a gun in front of Pac Sun, one of the stores inside the mall, and it accidentally went off.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Another child . . . .

The two teenagers had been hunting together over the weekend. On Monday they were at a residence near Pinedale when one of the teens was handling a pistol that fired, Sheriff Steve Holton said.

. . . and, it would appear, another gun that somehow magically fired itself.

Demonstrate politeness to our canine companions.

This is beyond vile.

And another child bites the dust in NRA Paradise.

Politeness is a family value.

Fred Hensley Sr., 79, told police his son would not stop playing guitar. So, Hensley Sr. said he got his gun and threatened to shoot his son, the report from Blue Ash police explained.

The father said he wasn’t trying to hit his son, he only meant to shoot near him, Hensley Sr. told police.

Police found the gun, a spent shell casing, and the guitar with apparent bullet holes during their search of the home.

Party politely.

Get the drop on politeness.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

We are a failed state.

Show politeness to your neighbor when remonstrating with him about the behavior of his feline companion.

Clifford Anthony Bliss Jr., 58, became angry when the cat went into his yard Wednesday, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said.

He went to his neighbor’s home in Umatilla and threatened to shoot the cat, officials said.

James Arland Taylor Jr., 41, asked him not to shoot the cat, according to deputies. That’s when Bliss shot Taylor, they said.

Children should play politely.

Yet more random acts of politeness.

And thus passeth another day in the NRA’s Garden of Bleedin’.

Party politely.

Ensure that your progeny display politeness at their educational institutions.

Yet more random acts of politeness . . . .

He was polite to his mail carrier.

U.S. postal inspectors said he (one Eric M. Kortz–ed.) blocked Mr. Vignone’s truck with a van, got out and shot the mail carrier multiple times, including once in the head. Mr. Kortz then drove to the Carnegie police station to tell officers he’d shot someone.

According to an affidavit by Inspector Erik Bohin, Mr. Kortz later told investigators that he believed Mr. Vignone and his family had poisoned him and his family with cyanide when they were previously neighbors. The affidavit did not elaborate on that claim or provide details as to where they once lived.

Now, about those psychiatric exams for persons who want to buy guns . . . .

Politeness is a family value.

Yet more neighborly politeness . . . .

Gwinnett County police said 36-year-old Carlether Foley died from a gunshot wound to the head as she slept in her apartment in Duluth, Georgia on Sept. 26.

Her 17-year-old son said he was the one who found her lifeless body in the bed. Authorities said they found a bullet hole in the wall of the apartment.

Foley’s neighbor told police his gun went off while he was cleaning the weapon.

The story goes on to report that the neighbor “forgot” there was a shell in the chamber. It left out the part about his being too stupid to have a gun in the first place.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.