Gunnuttery category archive

Self-politeness is the politest kind.

He told police he was shot while on a freeway in the city, according to authorities.

Troopers spoke to the victim and began an investigation. After investigating the claim, they determined the man had shot himself by accident. Troopers also found a bullet hole in the inside and bottom of the victim’s pants pocket.

Gamey politeness.

What happens when a responsible gun owner (just ask one–he’ll tell you he is) escorts his lady friend to dinner?

Why, politeness, of course. What else did you expect?

Another responsible gun owner greets the neighbors.

Plymouth police said 11-month-old Noah Amori was grazed in the foot from a bullet that was discharged by a next-door neighbor on Sunday morning around 11 a.m. They said the gun owner was trying to put a lock on his gun when the trigger was accidentally pulled.

The bullet went right through the shared wall of the Forest Avenue condo building and hit the toddler’s foot. The bullet also hit a mattress that Noah’s older brother had slept on the night before.

Expose your children to politeness at an early age.

Police say a 2-year-old child got a hold of a gun and shot his 4-year-old brother in the abdomen.

The extent of the 4-year-old’s injuries are unknown, but he was taken to a Springfield hospital for treatment. Police said the mother was home when he was shot.

Introduce children to politeness at an early age.

At about 3:30 p.m. Friday, Emahleeah was having a snack in her bedroom on the second floor of her family’s apartment at 42 Summer St. when a drive-by shooter targeted the building, according to police.

A bullet remained lodged Sunday in one Emahleeah’s vertebrae. It missed her spinal cord by about an inch, according to her father.

Thus passeth another day in the NRA’s Garden of Bleedin’.

Another “responsible gun owner” exorcises his responsibility.

Be polite to the national symbol.

The dead eagle was found on County Road 220, north of Cherry Valley (Arkansas–ed.). The eagle was initially examined by veterinary staff at Cross County Veterinary Clinic in Wynne, where the preliminary cause of death was determined to be a gunshot wound. The eagle will be transferred to a wildlife forensics laboratory for additional testing.

Selfie politeness is the politest kind.

A 10-year-old boy is in serious condition at a Texas hospital after he was accidentally shot by a babysitter who was taking selfies while holding a gun, the Harris County Sheriff’s Office said on Tuesday.

The report goes on to say that she thought the gun was unloaded. It leaves out the part about her being too stupid to make sure.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

As all “responsible gun owners” (sic) know, politeness takes practice.

An 18-year-old from Festus was shot Sunday (Feb. 23) while he was changing targets at a shooting match at American Legion Post 253, 849 American Legion Drive, in Festus. It appeared to be an accidental shooting, Festus Police Chief Tim Lewis said.

“A young man who was changing targets ran out to the target area and was shot,” Lewis said. “The victim was shot in the left arm, left chest area. He took the full blast.”

Lewis said the victim suffered serious injuries from the shotgun blast . . . .

As any “responsible gun owner” (sic) knows, politeness takes practice.

Yet another responsible gun owner cuts it a bit too close.

The shooting was reported at about 6:30 a.m. at a home on Oakcrest Circle, according to the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office. Two men went to a convenience store then returned to the home. One prepared to cut the other’s hair.

The man who was going to have his hair cut sat down on a bucket outside his bedroom door. As he waited for the haircut, he started “playing with his firearm, as he always does,” the other man told deputies.

The gun then discharged, fatally wounding the man holding it.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Be polite to animals.

A Clearwater-area (Kansas–ed.) woman is looking for answers after two of her horses were shot outside her home last Sunday, (Feb. 9).

One of her horses, Jack, died from his injuries.

Be polite to your friends.

Police said officers responded to a 911 call about the shooting around 4:40 p.m. and found 21-year-old Joshua Allen dead from a single gunshot wound to the chest. According to report, the 911 caller said “I need an ambulance fast, my brother was messing with a gun and it went off accidentally hitting his best friend”.

Do you want a side of fries with your politeness?

Still more child’s play . . . .

A 5-year-old boy was shot in the back by his older brother who was playing with his parent’s pistol Friday night, Dallas police said.

Get aboard the bus to politeness.