December, 2013 archive
Rex Huppke reviews Senator Ted Cruz’s rise to media success and decides to harness the method for himself.
Cruz’s meteoric rise gives hope to the unmotivated narcissist in all of us. It shows that by being impervious to criticism from the public or their peers and having no fear of losing, anyone can be viewed as an important public figure.
To that end, I took to my Twitter account and sent the following: “America is great, Obamacare is evil, Benghazi was a coverup, please re-tweet this a billion times and make me famous. #StandWithHuppke.”
Follow the link for the outcome.
Or not, because the poor must be punished.
When it was initially discussed as a rude repercussion of a bungled budget deal, the prospect that 1.3 million Americans would lose long-term unemployment benefits just days after Christmas was bad enough.
Now, that the day has come, however, it stands as a stark reminder of the extent to which the United States has regressed from the days when Franklin Delano Roosevelt greeted the Holiday Season with a celebration of the fact that: “Today neighborliness no longer can be confined to one’s little neighborhood. Life has become too complex for that. In our country neighborliness has gradually spread its boundaries—from town, to county, to State and now at last to the whole Nation.”
Because nothing says rude like banning the rod.
The restaurant, which only opened last week, displays a “NO GUNS PERMITTED” sign on the front door, according to MyFoxDC.
It is noteworthy how many persons define “freedom” as the right to restrict the behavior of others.
I got checked out of the super market the other day by a Bieber belieber.
Couldn’t tell whether it was a boy or a girl (think it was girl). The nametag said “Justin Bieber [some last name],” and the hairstyle was Beiberous.
Santa (or someone) brought a new Nintendo DS, with extra features.
But when Mayhew’s son opened the file, there were already pictures in it. But not just any pictures — images an 8-year-old should never see.
Mayhew said the Nintendo DS had at a dozen pornographic pictures. He now wants to know where they came from.
Somewhere, somebody is wondering where his (and you know it’s “his”–a woman wouldn’t be so stupid) pictures got to.
Rita Mae Brown:
Politeness is a family affair.
The girl was shot just after 2 p.m. by a family member, an adult male, who was home alone with the child, according to officials.
The authorities have not yet decided whether this was a “criminal act” or an “accident.”
Prosecutors say a 23-year-old man was trying to take a group photo last weekend when Harper jumped into the frame. The criminal complaint says Harper and the group began fighting, and security asked them to leave.
The complaint says Harper followed three of the men back to their cars, and then fired a gun into the car where the victim was seated. The victim was shot about six times and injured.
Reg Henry tries his hand at updating some Christmas classics. A nugget:
Hashtagging through the snow
On a one bar open phone
Over the ether we go
Taking selfies all the way (Lol, lol, lol!)
Bells on Bob’s apps ring
Making messages bright
What fun it is to text and ring
A tweeting song tonight . . . .
Read it. You will be glad you did.
It’s the best catch there is.
Eat your heart out, Yossarian.
Follow the link for the Hellerian details.
The police dog barked, then . . . .
Agents quickly stripped searched her and did cavity searches but found no evidence of drugs, court documents said. But the woman was transported in handcuffs to the University Medical Center of El Paso, the lawsuit said, where doctors subjected her to an observed bowel movement, a CT scan and other exams without a warrant.
Nothing was found. Then the hospital billed her $5,000.
I hope she wins her suit.
Much more at the link.