Gunnuttery category archive

He didn’t know the gun was loaded.

Thus passeth another day in the NRA’s Garden of Eden.

Fun in the food court.

The accidental shooting happened in the food court of the Southlake Mall in Morrow (Ga.–ed.). Police initially believed the gun owner was standing up from eating when the gun fired from the waist area. They said the bullet ricocheted off the tile floor, fragmented and hit two people.

But less than an hour later, Morrow Police Chief James Callaway said while the shooting is still considered accidental, the gun owner may still be considered a suspect because he left the scene.

An update from the hunt for politeness:

Three men from California were hunting near High Point and Blanchard Road, according to Reno County Sheriff’s Captain Steve Lutz. One man’s shotgun fired and struck him in the heel of his foot.

Be polite to your mother, NRA style.

Deputies said the mother and her three kids were sitting in a Honda when her son, who is under the age of 5, got a hold of the shotgun. That mother was rushed to the hospital and is listed in stable condition.

The story reports that “a man has been arrested,” but does not specify why.

I’m guessing negligence of some sort.

Politeness is a gas.

Be polite to our four-legged friends.

The Polk County (N. C.–ed.) Sheriff’s Office is searching for someone who intentionally shot a prized show horse through the heart.

(snip)

It’s not deer season, so that rules out a mistake. Also, the horse was far from the road, so the shooter had to come onto private property to fire the fatal shot.

The filly was shot at close range, killed with a single .22-caliber bullet to the heart.

Show off your politeness.

Valdez’s son, Gabriel “Gabe” Fernandez, is among at least six children in the Houston area who have died by gunfire in the last three weeks. Police attributed three of those deaths to accidental gunfire.

A gun her son’s best friend was showing off accidentally fired and fatally struck him in the head, Valdez said. The shooting happened around 1:30 p.m. Saturday while Gabriel and his 15-year-old brother, Nicholas, were visiting the friend a street over.

Just another day in NRA Paradise.

Politeness is the pits.

Greer, his son and a friend were off Strahan Road squirrel hunting with a new dog Greer got for his son. Greer was retrieving a squirrel and had his 12-gauge shotgun in his hand with the butt on the ground when it somehow discharged, striking him under the right armpit.

Back when I learned hunting safety from the NRA in the olden days, when it was a hunting society and not a marketing tool of the merchants of death, I was taught never to point the gun at myself or others for the love of God.

Get a leg up on politeness.

“It was definitely accidental,” (Police Lt. Christopher–ed.) Giuliani said. “He was on the range and was holstering his gun when it went off and shot him in the leg.”

Aside:

Clearly, this fellow is competent to pack heat.

Also, pigs, wings.

Again, politeness is child’s play.

Houston police say a 9-year-old child was fatally shot by a 9-year-old cousin while playing with a gun the children found in a local apartment.

Thus passeth another day in NRA Paradise.

Play politely.

Morse said that he and the victim often met at the duplex to smoke marijuana and when they did so, they’d play with a gun, according to Lemma.

“What they would typically do is horseplay around with a gun at the location, meaning that they would point it at each other, they would pull the trigger. Most of the time, the gun was unloaded when that occurred,” Lemma said.

The victim was playing with the gun when Morse tried to take it and during the struggle, the gun fired, killing the victim, according to authorities.

Afterthought:

I will not say one way or the other that I have ever had any experience with that evil weed, but I freely admit that I have toyed with other intoxicants (God bless the Scots!). I will say that, had I done so, I would fancy myself not so stupid as to toy with firearms when so doing.

Shop politely.

The hunt for politeness continues.

Janet Wright, 73, was cleaning her stove that evening when she heard a loud noise, felt some pain in the back of her head and discovered she was bleeding. She drove to Ottumwa Regional Hospital, where the bullet was found and dislodged, according to a news release from the Iowa Department of Natural Resources.

The “hunter” has been detained.

Be polite to children.

Sheriff Andy Clark said the boyfriend of the child’s mother accidentally shot the girl with an AR-15. Clark said the man had taken a magazine out of the firearm and assumed it was unloaded.

The child is recovering, no thanks to the confluence of guns and stupid.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

DIY politeness.

According to Sgt. Shelly Park of the Sanilac County Sheriff’s Office, the 18-year-old was building a .22 caliber gun when he accidentally made the makeshift firearm go off, striking himself in the abdomen. There were two other people near the man when the incident happened, and they contacted 911.

Deputies say the 18-year-old stated that he had forgotten there was a bullet in the gun when he started working on it.

Rule one of having a gun is always to check whether it’s loaded.

The stupid. It burns.

Politeness takes practice.

(Link fixed)

Drive-thru politeness:

Police say Jayden Brower unbuckled himself from a booster seat in his mother’s car as she pulled into the drive-thru at a fast-food restaurant, according to Winston-Salem’s Fox 8 News.

Brower grabbed a .45 semi-automatic handgun that belonged to his father from the pocket on the back of the front passenger seat. The gun discharged by mistake, shooting the child in the face, police said.

Aside:

“Discharged by mistake” is the most creative misspelling of “negligently” I’ve yet seen.

There’s nothing like celebrating the New Year politely.

Police say a Kansas City, Kansas man planning to shoot his gun at midnight accidentally shot himself in the stomach as he sat (sic) the gun down.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Be polite as you dine.

Incensed that taco sauce was not included with his order, a gunman opened fire early today at a Taco Bell in Oklahoma, shooting up the restaurant’s drive-thru window, police report.