Gunnuttery category archive

Politeness takes practice.

A man was shooting a handgun at the range, and when he attempted to clear the weapon, the gun discharged, according to the Harris County Sheriff’s Office.

That agency, in a post to Twitter, called the discharge a “malfunction” and said the shooter was hospitalized in “good condition.”

Afterthought:

Situations such as these could be avoided if one ensures that one’s portable penis is not pointing at anyone while one is caressing it.

The hunt for politeness never ends. Nor, it seems, does the hunt for stupid.

A DGIF (Virginia Department of Game and Inland Fisheries–ed.) official said a deer ran between two hunters, and when one of them tried to shoot it, he accidentally shot another hunter twice in the left arm.

Politeness is a family value.

Police in Central Texas say a 15-year-old girl was shot and killed by a family member in an accidental shooting as she played a video game. . . .

Authorities say a 17-year-old relative told investigators he didn’t know the gun was loaded when he was handling it in the living room of the home.

More responsible gun owners in NRA Eden . . . .

“They were horsing around with the gun, and a guy got shot in the leg,” Watkins said, describing the wound as non-life-threatening, adding that the shooting victim drove himself to a local hospital.

Answering the call of politeness:

“I shot my friend,” the 15-year-old boy told the 911 dispatcher.

“Was this accidental?” the dispatcher asked.

“Yes,” the teen replied.

“What’s going on there?” the dispatcher asked.

“My friend brought a gun over and I picked it up. I didn’t know there was anything in it and I just shot it,” the boy said.

“Where are your parents?” the dispatcher asked.

“Work,” the teen replied.

Commit random acts of politeness.

The Bristol (Mass.–ed.) district attorney’s office said Monday that 57-year-old Dean Tupper, of Easton, was arrested and charged with discharging a firearm within 500 feet of a building, making false statements to police, carrying a dangerous weapon on school grounds and other charges.

The office says his reckless handling of a firearm resulted in the accidental shooting Oct. 11 in the plumber’s shop of Stonehill College’s Clock Farm, across the street from the main campus.

Self-politeness is the politest kind.

A man could face charges of making a false report to a peace officer after he told officials in Taylor someone shot him during a road-rage incident.

Taylor police say the man recanted his story after further questioning, and said he actually shot himself while handling a handgun.

There is a lesson in this tale: When you decide to play with your auxiliary portable penis, proceed with caution.

Surround your children with politeness.

District Attorney Michael Jackson told The Tuscaloosa News that the boy died Thursday night in Bibb County after suffering a gunshot wound to the face.

Jackson told the newspaper that it appears that the child found the gun in the house and accidently (sic) shot himself as he was handling it. Law enforcement has not released the name of the child.

Celebrate Christmas politely.

Logan Trammell’s family told a Birmingham news station he was driving away from his parents home around 11:30 p.m. on Dec. 24 in one of his father’s vehicles. Unaware Logan was borrowing his truck and believing someone was stealing it, the father shot at the truck. After it stopped, he realized he had mistakenly shot and killed his own son, the family told WIAT.

Afterthought:

Shoot first, ask questions later. Always a good policy.

Children should be polite to each other . . .

Authorities say that is was apparently a child family member who accidentally shot and killed a young girl at a Prince George’s County home on Friday.

Prince George’s County Police told WJLA that they were called to the 15500 block of Saint Phillips Road just before 10 p.m. and found the 11-year-old girl suffering from a bullet wound.

. . . because politeness is a Republican Family Value.

Unaware politeness is the politest kind.

According to police reports, Palmatier was shot in the head by another 16-year-old male who was unaware the gun was loaded. Spectrum News of the Southern Tier reported that it was a .22 caliber hunting rifle that was mishandled and fired.

Police pronounced Palmatier dead at the scene.

The case is still under investigation but police at this time are calling it an accident and a “terrible tragedy.”

“Accident” is “negligence” misplet.

Usher in the holidays politely.

The 9-year-old was at a relative’s home, hanging out with cousins in the basement. They happened to find a loaded, unsecured gun. An older cousin tried to take it away from the child but it discharged, striking him in the shoulder.

Be polite while doing that last-minute shopping.

“It appears that there was an individual that had a firearm in his possession in the restroom, and the firearm dropped and accidentally discharged inside the restroom,” Sanford police spokeswoman Bianca Gillett said.

Got to be prepared to protect yourself from Santa’s helpers, I reckon.

Practice random acts of politeness.

Officials said the driver was traveling on State Route 111, South of Reno in a wooded stretch of road.

A bullet from a high powered rifle entered the passenger cabin and hit the driver in the leg.

Just a bit of collateral damage in the NRA Garden of Eden . . . .

The hunt for politeness continues.

“Denton initially claimed to us that he shot himself” while they were in a wooded area off Crowningshield Lane in the Town of Elizabethtown, State Police Troop B Public Information Officer Jennifer Fleishman said Wednesday.

“A subsequent investigation revealed Denton and Rolston were illegally hunting deer when Rolston accidentally shot Denton with a 20-gauge shotgun,” the release said.

I grew up with hunters in my family.

Not a one of them would have hunted anything out of season, and not a one of them was stupid enough to shoot a hunting companion.

But that was then, when the NRA was about hunting safety. not about gun sales.

Politeness goes for the dogs:

Their dog Remi was killed while chasing after a buck in the Ocala National Forest. Remi hunted deer for food for the McGee’s.

Deputies say this was no accident. They arrested Todd Sweitzer after finding Remi’s 3 GPS dog collar trackers in his home as well as the gun used in the shooting.

Just another day in NRA Eden.

Let’s have open-carryings-on.

William B. Burdess, 51, was doing chores in a horse barn when the .45 caliber pistol he had in a holster in his pocket fell to the ground and discharged, Capt. Shawn Thallas said. Burdess was struck in the lower left chest. The bullet exited through his back.

If more persons had guns in their pockets, this would no doubt not happened.

Afterthought:

Why the hell was he packing in the first place? Was he afraid the horses were going to make a break for it?

Furrfu.

. . . and another responsible gun owner’s gun decides to fire itself.

Investigators said the man was inside his car when his gun discharged, injuring his leg. They determined the shooting was an accident and did not file charges against him.

If more folks were packing here in NRA Paradise, no doubt this would not have happened.

Also, pigs, wings.

Another random act of politeness.

Corporal Billy Hall with the Loudon County Sheriff’s Office told WATE that a vendor was attempting to unload a shotgun-type weapon when it accidentally went off, firing at the floor. A pellet from the shotgun ricocheted off the floor and hit another vendor in the neck.

This is a “responsible gun owner” in action.