Gunnuttery category archive

Facebook firearms frolics.

The stupid, it burns.

Practice random acts of politeness.

According to a news release from the Stark County Sheriff’s Office, Campbell was struck following the accidental discharge of a firearm that traveled through a wall. Campbell and his family live in a house on Vixen Street NW.

The news release does not indicate how or why the gun fired.

Per the NRA gun marketing association, more guns means more politeness. For example:

The third male, who told News Center 7’s John Bedell he didn’t want to be interviewed on camera, said Justin Mapp, the 19-year-old Xenia man who was shot to death, blurted out a profane insult.

“All of a sudden they were trading blows,” the third male said of Mapp and the accused, Steven Bruce Brown Jr., 31.

The fight lasted only a few minutes, the third male said, and ended when Brown drew a gun “he always carried.”

Brown and Mapp were wrestling over the weapon when a single round was fired, the third male said.

Marvel at how much politeness there could have been if all three had been packing. Why, there might have been a hail of politeness enveloping them all!

Yet another case of being led astray by a person’s little white tail.

The charges stem from an incident in the Town of Dix on Nov. 19 when the DEC says Brooks shot his stepbrother while hunting. The DEC says Brooks illegally fired his hunting rifle two hours before legal hunting time at what he believed to be a deer, but it was actually his 24-year-old stepbrother.

The hunt for politeness continues.

The Alabama Department of Conservation and Natural Resources reported that 31-year-old Shannon Heath Bell of Flomaton has been charged with illegal deer hunting that led to the death of another person.

The ADCNR said that at approximately 6 p.m. on Friday, Bell and Donna Loraine Martin, 35, of Flomaton were illegally deer hunting from a compact pickup truck on County Road 40 near Pollard Landing in Escambia County.

According to a preliminary hunting accident report, Bell was pulling a rifle out of the vehicle, stock first, when it discharged, hitting Martin in the stomach.

Equal parts guns and stupid with a dash of lawbreaking–that’s one recipe for a cocktail of death.

Be polite to the grocery store clerk “associate.”

Reading police were called to a Weis parking lot Monday where a customer accidentally shot an employee, a store official said.

Company spokesman Dennis Curtin said an associate was grazed by a bullet after a gun carried by a customer accidentlally discharged at its store located in the 2000 block of North 13th Street about 10:50 a.m.

Had the clerk been packing, he could have grazed right back at him.

The stupid. It burns.

Once more, it must have been the little white tail.

VDGIF (Viginia Department of Game and Inland Fisheries–ed.) says a 17-year-old boy was hunting and mistook his 16-year-old friend, who was hunting with him, for a deer. The 16-year-old died at the scene.

The victim, according to VDGIF, was standing in an “agricultural field” and was shot from about 150 to 200 yards away.

The hunters were both wearing blaze orange gear, had taken hunter education, and had the appropriate hunting licenses, according to VDGIF.

Practice preventive politeness.

Sheriff’s Office reports indicate that a 21-year-old man shot a Metro bus passenger in Renton Tuesday for no apparent reason, other than he “thought that the victim was going to threaten him.”

(snip)

The Sheriff’s Office says the 21-year-old man admitted he shot the victim because he thought the victim was about to threaten him. He admitted he never saw a gun, that the victim never threatened him and that he did not know the victim.

Thus passes another day in the NRA’s Garden of Eden.

Defend yourself politely.

Deputies found the 66-year-old homeowner with a gunshot wound on his arm. The man told deputies he was asleep when someone tried to break into his house.

He woke up and got his gun, and then confronted the suspect. The homeowner said he was trying to shoot the burglar, but shot himself in the arm by accident.

Contrary to the John Wayne fantasies of the NRA gun marketing association, this is how “self-defense” commonly works out in NRA Paradise.

No doubt, had the driver been packing, this would not have happened.

Broward Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman Gina Carter said deputies were called to a rollover crash on Hallandale Beach Boulevard, just west of Interstate 95, about 2:30 a.m.

Carter said a passenger in the car told deputies that a gun in his possession accidentally fired, striking the driver and causing the crash.

Just another day in NRA Paradise.

Volunteer politely.

Attorney James Davis represents George Matis Jr., of Republic (Pennsylvania–ed.), who remained jailed on criminal homicide and reckless endangerment charges in the Sunday shooting of 16-year-old Parker Hess at the Republic Volunteer Fire Company.

Hess was shot when Matis removed his legally owned gun from a holster and it fired, striking Hess in the cheek, state police said in a criminal complaint. Investigators haven’t said whether the shooting was accidental, but Davis believes it was.

In related news, it must have been the little white tail, reprise.

The hunt for politeness continues.

Troopers say Kristopher Paro was in a tree stand in the woods behind his home in the Oswego County town of Sandy Creek around 4:40 p.m. Thursday when he heard what he thought was a deer about 100 yards away.

Police say Paro fired a shot, unaware that his father, 58-year-old Kevin Paro, had gone into the woods a short time earlier to hunt. Troopers say the father was hit in the chest by a round from his son’s .270-caliber rifle.

Many years ago, when my brother lived in Vermont, his old boss overheard a conversation between two out-of-state hunters.

One said, “Did to see anything?”

The other answered, “No, but I got off a couple of sound shots.”

His boss gave up hunting at that moment.

In case you are wondering, this was a “sound shot.”

Do not let politeness take a back seat to anything.

William Glosson had bought two weapons (at the gun show-ed.), one of which was similar to a gun he already owned. Once they were in the vehicle to leave the fairgrounds, Daniel Glosson handed his personal weapon and one of the handguns he had purchased to Judd, who was sitting in the backseat, to compare the two weapons.

Harrison said Judd accidentally caused the loaded weapon to discharge. The projectile struck the seat and then struck Alyssa Glosson in the back of the head.

The story says no charges will be filed because Hey! Stuff Happens.

Be polite to your neighbors.

A bullet went through a kitchen cabinet and shattered some glass pans in a home on Evergreen Road.

The rear neighbor was putting his gun in a new holster when it misfired.

The bullet went through the dining room wall, through the backyards, and into the neighbor’s house.

. . . and yet another gun that fired itself

Afterthought:

When I was young ‘un, back in the olden days, “misfire” meant that, when you pulled the trigger, nothing happened. Must be some of that gun nut newspeak.

Politeness is essential in a process of learning.

A gun that a first-grader brought to a St. Paul elementary school fired one round in a class full of students Thursday morning, police and the School District said. No one was injured.

Conduct yourself with courtesy while in your wheeled conveyance.

The victims were stopped in a car at a traffic light about 4 p.m. near Rainier Avenue South and South Bayview Street when a white catering van attempted to pull into their lane and almost hit their car, police reports say.

The victims honked at the van, allegedly prompting the van’s driver to pull out a handgun and point it at the car.

The victim car ran the red light to evade the gunman and reportedly heard gunshots behind them as they lost sight of the van, reports indicate.

Politeness starts at a young age.

“One of the kids found a gun in the closet. It was unsecured, unlocked. He was messing with the gun. It went off. He shoots the 3-year-old right in the neck,” said Derrick Jackson, Washtenaw County Sheriff’s Office Director of Community Outreach. “The 3-year-old goes to run out of the room and collapses. Mom picks the three-year-old up, runs into the hallway. Neighbors called 911.”

Our polity suffers from lead poisoning.

Party politely at the confluence of stupid and lead along the banks of the river alcohol.

Officers found Sass-Loken, who was transported to Winona Health, then airlifted to Gunderson in La Crosse, where he was in intensive care Monday morning.

Officers recovered a handgun at the scene and took Lucas Ryan Schultz, 20, of Winona into custody. Schultz was released from the Winona County Jail Sunday following an initial investigation.

Williams said the incident “appears to be accidental,” according to witness accounts and the initial investigation. . . . “It appears there was drinking going on,” Williams added.

This is your Second Amendment Solution to rearing the young.

Police in Gaston County are investigating after they said a 2-year-old boy was accidentally shot in the stomach early Thursday morning. . . .

Neighbors said that Ware told them that the child somehow got a hold of the gun and shot himself in the stomach.

(snip)

Neighbors said the boy’s father has a reputation for firing his gun in the area.

“There’s been several times where I’ve seen him out here shooting at people’s feet and acting crazy,” Amanda Cunningham said.

Set an example of politeness for your children.

Police have arrested 31-year-old Zach Cory for accidentally shooting his 8-year-old daughter.

(snip)

Detectives tell us the girl’s father, 31-year-old Cory, was inside a house near Pecos and Las Vegas Boulevard Tuesday night when his gun discharged. Cory is now facing felony child abuse charges.

Friends and family say he’s an excellent father.