Gunnuttery category archive

Politeness starts at a young age.

“One of the kids found a gun in the closet. It was unsecured, unlocked. He was messing with the gun. It went off. He shoots the 3-year-old right in the neck,” said Derrick Jackson, Washtenaw County Sheriff’s Office Director of Community Outreach. “The 3-year-old goes to run out of the room and collapses. Mom picks the three-year-old up, runs into the hallway. Neighbors called 911.”

Our polity suffers from lead poisoning.

Party politely at the confluence of stupid and lead along the banks of the river alcohol.

Officers found Sass-Loken, who was transported to Winona Health, then airlifted to Gunderson in La Crosse, where he was in intensive care Monday morning.

Officers recovered a handgun at the scene and took Lucas Ryan Schultz, 20, of Winona into custody. Schultz was released from the Winona County Jail Sunday following an initial investigation.

Williams said the incident “appears to be accidental,” according to witness accounts and the initial investigation. . . . “It appears there was drinking going on,” Williams added.

This is your Second Amendment Solution to rearing the young.

Police in Gaston County are investigating after they said a 2-year-old boy was accidentally shot in the stomach early Thursday morning. . . .

Neighbors said that Ware told them that the child somehow got a hold of the gun and shot himself in the stomach.

(snip)

Neighbors said the boy’s father has a reputation for firing his gun in the area.

“There’s been several times where I’ve seen him out here shooting at people’s feet and acting crazy,” Amanda Cunningham said.

Set an example of politeness for your children.

Police have arrested 31-year-old Zach Cory for accidentally shooting his 8-year-old daughter.

(snip)

Detectives tell us the girl’s father, 31-year-old Cory, was inside a house near Pecos and Las Vegas Boulevard Tuesday night when his gun discharged. Cory is now facing felony child abuse charges.

Friends and family say he’s an excellent father.

Set an example by being polite to yourself.

Deputies say they arrived and found a 63-year-old man with a gunshot wound.

Authorities say he had been sitting with his 9mm gun in his front pocket and that the gun slipped out of his pocket when he stood up.

As it hit the floor, the sheriff’s office says the gun discharged one round, striking the man in the hip and exiting through the front of his leg.

The stupid. It burns.

Had the little girl been packing, no doubt she could have defended herself.

A 6-year-old girl and her 5-year-old boy relative both suffered gunshot wounds about 10:30 a.m. Monday, Oct. 31 . . . .

A biological grandmother of one of the children was picking the children up from the home of their aunt and uncle, Gregory said. The grandmother schools the children at her home, the chief said.

When the boy entered the grandmother’s van, he picked up a 9mm pistol resting in the door of the van and accidentally fired it, Gregory said. The bullet went through the boy’s hand and struck the girl in the thigh, Gregory said.

Another gun achieves the gunnularity and fires itself.*

An off-duty Lincoln County Sheriff’s deputy who was showing her service weapon to guests at her home Saturday fired the gun by accident striking her 11-year-old daughter, according to the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office.

Misty Michelle Flowers, 38, who works as a deputy at the Lincoln County Courthouse, was showing the weapon to friends at her home on Loop Road when the gun fired and went through a wall striking the girl in the next room.

Ammosexuals just have to flaunt it.

________________

*It’s called “grammar,” folks, and it matters.

Friends share politeness:

Ahern said his friend had stopped by Ahern’s apartment to visit and asked to see the handgun, which Ahern said he and his friend had used for target practice in New Hampshire in the past, according to the report. Ahern told police they were in his bedroom when he showed his friend the gun and that he didn’t think the gun was loaded.

Ahern said that after his friend placed the gun onto his bed, Ahern picked up the weapon by the trigger and it discharged, which startled both of them. Ahern told police he then drove his wounded friend to the hospital.

They never think the gun is loaded and they are always too caught up in ammosexual heat to check.

Nothing is as polite as a little stolen politeness.

He was fondling his gun and it ejacula–oh, never mind.

(Link fixed. I must have had a case of missing links yesterday.)

Practice makes perfect (emphasis added).

A Parma man is in critical condition after he was accidentally struck by a stray bullet fired by two men who had been target-shooting with their rifle next door.(snip)When they arrived, the shooting was ongoing and deputies set up a perimeter around the area, said Cpl. John Helfer.

For some reason, the deputies did not call in a SWAT team, but waited for the shooting to stop before moving in.

Gee, I wonder what that reason might have been . . . .

Afterthought:

Will someone please make the bastard coinage “ongoing” disappear?

Addendum:

The updated story reports that the practicing pals have been charged with assault and reckless endangerment.

If only she’d been packing, this would not have happened.

Set an example of politeness to the youth of our nation.

An 11-month-old baby girl was wounded Saturday night in an apparent gun accident in Petaluma, authorities said.

The child was struck by a bullet fragment from a gun fired about 6:15 p.m. at a Reynolds Drive residence, Petaluma Fire Battalion Chief Jeff Schach said.

(snip)

Savano said police have not arrested anyone because at this point it appears the weapon was accidentally discharged inside the house . . . .

Oh, well, the shot came from inside the house, so it’s okay.

Leonard Pitts, Jr., writing about the recent school shooting in South Carolina, reflects on the fundamental break with reality illustrated by the news coverage of violent death in the United States.

Without really meaning to, we’ve evolved a kind of hierarchy of death in which anything that’s called terrorism requires wall-to-wall media coverage, reactions from political candidates and somber acknowledgment from late-night talk show hosts. But a 14-year-old shoots a 6-year-old on a playground, and it’s just an ordinary Wednesday.

Perhaps the most frustrating thing is that that hierarchy has no basis in reality. Last year, PolitiFact tallied the number of Americans killed in this country by terrorism in the 10 preceding years. It came to 71. The number of us killed by guns in that same time frame? 301,797.

In a way, the phenomenon he highlights is natural. Unusual, out-of-the-ordinary events are “news.”

Death by gunnuttery is commonplace and mundane in NRA paradise.

Politeness is a family value.

A father killed his 6-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter before fatally shooting himself at a Beaverton apartment complex, police said Wednesday.

A female relative found the family members inside a unit of the Redwood Creek Apartments at Southwest Windmill Drive and Greenway Boulevard, according to police.

Just another day in NRA Paradise.

Get a load of the politeness.

The shooting happened during a Florida Gun Show event at the east Lee County venue.

The Lee County Sheriff’s Office said that one man was reloading a gun when the weapon discharged. The shot hit the man’s finger and the bullet then wounded the foot of a friend of the gun owner’s standing nearby.

No charges will be filed because hey! stupid happens.

Politeness is the foundation of a successful union.

A top Atlanta lawyer accidentally fired the shot that killed his marketing-executive wife when their car hit a bump in the road, according to family members.

Claud (Tex) McIver took out his gun while riding with his wife, Diane McIver, because they were worried about a possible carjacking when several people walked toward the car, family friend and spokesman Bill Crane told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Friday.

The dirty little secret of gunnuttery is that the whole “self defense” thing seldom works out in real life the way it does in John Wayne movies. You don’t get to rehearse and there are no second takes.

Inculcate politeness from a tender age.

Metro Nashville Police responded to the shooting on Blue Hills Drive at 9:30 a.m. They say a 2-year-old who doesn’t live at the residence grabbed a gun from a door pocket of a vehicle that had just driven to the location and fired the gun, hitting a 12-year-old in the hip.

The story goes on to point out that Tennessee has a shot at shot records this year. Follow the link for the numbers.