Gunnuttery category archive

Politeness must start at an early age.

On Carver Street, near New Roads, deputies say that a 14-year-old was trying to show a gun to an 11-year-old when the gun fired off and hit the 11-year-old.

Reports of the polite keep pouring in.

JPD (Jackson, Mississippi, Police Dept.–ed.) spokeswoman Colendula Green said a man was shot at 6067 Old Canton Road. He was transported to the University of Mississippi Medical Center by private vehicle.

It turns out the shooting was accidental and self-inflicted. The man shot himself in the leg, officials said.

He loves politeness so much that he sleeps with it.

A Deltona man who shot himself in the hip with one of two guns he sleeps with will not be charged, a sheriff’s spokesman said.

Volusia Sheriff’s investigators determined the shooting was accidental and will not file charges on Richard Cooley, 53, said sheriff’s spokesman Andrew Gant.

I dispute the “accidental.” One cannot be this stupid by accident.

Politeness takes practice.

Dawn Bryan told deputies that bullets hit her house, pool enclosure and a window, shattering it, shortly before 11 a.m. Saturday.

Sheriff’s officials say Scott Radford, 33, of Hillsborough County Fire Rescue, and Hillsborough Sheriff’s Deputy Paul Adee, 25, were firing a rifle behind Radford’s house when some bullets unintentionally hit Bryan’s house on the 3800 block of Porter Road in Lithia, a community in east Hillsborough. The properties abut each other.

The bozos clearly need a lot more practice in how to be polite neighbors.

Be polite in the produce aisle.

Police say they have taken one man into custody in connection with the incident. He is identified as 59-year-old Gerry Good of Gibsonia.

He is facing charges of two counts of simple assault and two counts of recklessly endangering another person.

“What had happened, the man shopping in Giant Eagle bent over to pick something up, he was wearing a fanny pack and had a .380 inside his fanny pack, when he bent over that fell on the floor and discharged, striking two other people inside the store with debris,” Chief Robert Amann, of Northern Regional Police, said.

Guns and stupid, always a perfect combination. And they go together so often.

Via Southern Beale.

More parental politeness.

Police say the boy was at his home in the 1600 block of Norton Street when he went into a bedroom where his father was sleeping and found a handgun. The boy’s mother told police she was awake in the living room when the boy went to the same room as his father to go to bed.

The mother told police approximately 10 minutes later she heard a single gunshot. The boy’s father awoke to find his son injured from a gunshot wound to the head.

Having more guns lying about will, no doubt, eliminate such events in the future. At least, so says the NRA.

Parent politeness is paramount.

Kevin Ahles had left his 2-year-old son, Kaleb, in the front seat of the car and returned to carrying boxes in preparation for a family move to Hernando County. Kaleb somehow crawled across the seat and opened the glove compartment, where his father kept a .380-caliber handgun, deputies said.

Kaleb then lifted the gun, turned it so that it faced his chest and squeezed the trigger.

This is gun nut paradise writ large.

Always a good policy.

I can’t help wondering whether the secret sauce in gunnuttery is the wish to kill someone, anyone, just to see what it feels like.

Be polite in the presence of prosciutto:

The man was registered to carry a compact personal weapon that he had in his jacket pocket. When he hung his coat over the back of a chair, the gun fell to the floor and fired into a wall, said Cpl. Darin Hickey, public information officer for the Cape Girardeau Police Department.

His license needs to be revoked because of stupid.

Run-away politeness:

Investigators say the accounts of several witnesses inside the apartment at the time suggest another male was handling a handgun when it accidentally discharged. They say the unknown male took the gun and left the scene before officers arrived.

And another gun that “discharges” itself.

Be polite in the playpen.

The Kansas City Star reports emergency responders were called to an Elmo home at 8:58 a.m. on Monday after a 5-year-old found a loaded .22 caliber handgun and apparently was handling it when it fired.

White says the bullet struck the 9-month-old, who was in a playpen.

Gun nut paradise approacheth apace.

Rear your children politely (emphasis added).

The Dallas Morning News reported that 53-year-old Steven Johnson had taken out his gun at his home in Colleyville to show it to visitors.

According to Colleyville city spokesperson Mona Gandy, the gun discharged and Johnson’s 10-year-old daughter was struck by a bullet that went through a wall of the home.

The wording of the story indicates that this was yet another gun that fired itself. Nevertheless, for some fool reason, the person who was holding it at the time has been arrested. . . .

Words and how they are used matter, folks.

Demonstrate politeness to your public officials.

The Secret Service says multiple gunshots were fired from a vehicle near the Delaware home of Vice President Joe Biden on Saturday night.

The vice president and his wife were not at home at the time.

The Secret Service says the shots were fired at around 8:25 p.m. on a public road outside the secure perimeter near the home in Greenville, Delaware.

At this point, it remains unclear whether this was sedition, stupid, or a confluence of the two.

A happy family polites together.

Lincoln said the girl’s father told detectives the girl was helping him and his 6-year-old daughter clean the family’s home on County Road 3451 in Flora Vista on Friday afternoon. The 6-year-old sister picked up a rifle in the room and pulled the trigger, Lincoln said, striking the 8-year-old girl once in the neck.

Play cowboys, politely.

Deputies responded to a report of an accidental shooting at a home on Magnolia Road around 11 p.m. Thursday. Myles said Nelson and Tyler lived at the house along with Nelson’s parents.

“Upon arrival, one of the witnesses stated that they were playing a game of ‘Quick Draw’ and fake shooting each other,” she said.

Follow the money (emphasis added).

The NRA is popularly portrayed, including in the (recent PBS “Frontline”–ed.) broadcast, as an organization of 4 million members, representing an estimated 80 million American gun owners, out of a U.S. population of 316 million. NRA members are generally presented as a relatively benign collection of hunters, gun collectors, a few people obsessed with gun possession and a few more who consider it necessary to be armed against a potentially dangerous U.S. government or to resist the United Nations — the paranoid “black helicopter” crowd. It is also assumed that the NRA’s estimated $250-million-a-year budget, including a generous amount for Washington lobbying, is financed by its dues and programs.

This is only half true. At least half of the NRA’s budget comes from some 16 U.S.-based weapons manufacturers or marketers, including the ubiquitous, profitable Walmart.

Read the rest.

More polite pals.

A 33-year-old father is dead after being shot by a man who Fraser police describe as a friend.

(snip)

Police said the victim first got the gun from a kitchen drawer and aimed it at Magdowski and fired two rounds. The homeowner yelled at the victim that the gun was loaded. Police say Magdowksi grabbed the gun from the victim and fired one shot at him, striking him.

Pray Prey politely.

Police arrested two men on Monday in connection with a shooting at the Old Paramus Reformed Church on East Glen Avenue.

Joseph Galli, 21, of Somerville and Alex Norrell, 22, of Ridgewood are accused by authorities of being involved in an attack on the 200-year-old church late last month, where more than 30 rounds of ammunition were fired into the building — damaging stained-glass windows and some of the roof’s tiling, authorities said in a news release Tuesday.

Pal around politely.

A 15-year-old was shot and killed Sunday by his 15-year-old friend in what Guilford Sheriff’s investigators said they believe was an accidental shooting.

According to the report, they didn’t know the gun was loaded. The story left out the bit about being too stupid to check.

Stairway to politeness:

The captain (in the Fire Dept.–ed.), whose name was not released, was in a stairwell of the East Cambridge fire station at 175 Cambridge St. on an administrative task Tuesday when he was removing a personal firearm and holster from his jacket pocket in an attempt to attach it to his belt, according to Assistant Chief Gerard E. Mahoney. The gun, which he was licensed to carry, accidentally fired, hitting the captain in his hip area, Mahoney said.

According to the report, he wasn’t supposed to be packing at work.