Gunnuttery category archive

Because nothing says rude like banning the rod.

Toby Keith’s new restaurant in Woodbridge has become a target in the latest dispute on gun control.

The restaurant, which only opened last week, displays a “NO GUNS PERMITTED” sign on the front door, according to MyFoxDC.

Politeness is a family affair.

The baby was killed on Christmas Eve by a single gunshot wound sustained inside an apartment at 2165 Old Philadelphia Pike.

The girl was shot just after 2 p.m. by a family member, an adult male, who was home alone with the child, according to officials.

The authorities have not yet decided whether this was a “criminal act” or an “accident.”

Picture politeness.

Prosecutors say a 23-year-old man was trying to take a group photo last weekend when Harper jumped into the frame. The criminal complaint says Harper and the group began fighting, and security asked them to leave.

The complaint says Harper followed three of the men back to their cars, and then fired a gun into the car where the victim was seated. The victim was shot about six times and injured.

Gun nut twits.

Practice politeness.

Authorities in Volusia County, Florida, are investigating whether a 69-year-old man’s death on Wednesday was the result of reckless shooting from a nearby resident’s backyard gun range.

The Daytona Beach News-Journal reported that Bruce Fleming was standing in his own backyard when he was hit in the chest by a gunshot. He was pronounced dead at a local hospital.

In the West Chester, Pa., Daily Local, Wile E. Coyote speaks out about efforts by a Pennsylvania state representative to establish a bounty on coyotes. A nugget:

And there are some who think it’s a bad idea to offer rewards for our heads, thinking that the incentive will lead to hunters taking potshots at anything that resembles a coyote — the neighbor’s Labrador or Fluffy the cat.

It’s a valid concern, but seriously, anyone who can’t tell a coyote from a cat really shouldn’t be armed.*

It almost makes you think that the Legislature is beholden to the roadrunner lobby.

But that’s OK. We coyotes have a powerful lobby on our side too, one that depends on our patronage for its business success, a corporation that has made good coin over the years serving the coyote community’s catapult and rocket skate needs.

You think the Acme Company is going to sit back and let this happen?

________________

*In a society in which men shoot their own children and the victims of traffic accidents seeking help so as to prove their credentials as macho men, methinks Mr. Coyote dismisseth this concern too lightly.

Questions are impolite.

Shoot first. Ask questions later.

A man shot and killed his stepdaughter Monday morning after apparently mistaking her for a burglar, according to police.

She was 14 years old.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Words fail me. All I have left is profanity.

It takes practice to be polite.

Investigators initially reported a 9-year-old boy and 10-year-old girl were target practicing with a 410 shotgun near Pentacre Road in the community of Quick at about 5:30 p.m. Sunday. Kanawha County Metro 911 was called and said the girl had been shot.

Via TPM.

Politeness must start young.

Police say an Arizona toddler is dead after accidentally shooting himself with his parent’s gun.

A man who reportedly walked into a Safeway carrying a rifle Wednesday afternoon was safely disarmed and cited for carrying the exposed firearm in public, police said.

(snip)

The man, who has not been identified, told officers “he was unaware of the law.”

Under state law, it’s illegal to carry an unloaded and exposed firearm in public with the exception of a handgun. But it is legal for a person to transport an unloaded one in a vehicle.

Why the (*&^^% would you need a long gun (or even a short gun) in a Safeway if you aren’t planning to rob the place?

This is the diminutive phallus brigade in full show-off mode.

A Council Bluffs, Iowa woman was arrested Tuesday after she posted a threat on Facebook that her son would “shoot up” his school.

If the woman’s statements to the press have any truth to them at all, she may well have reason to be angry at the school.

Popping off about popping caps was an infelicitous way to express it.

Honor motherhood with politeness.

Newport News investigators say a man upset at the mother of his child took out his anger by firing shots at her home.

Children should be polite to their parents.

The 22-year-old mother discovered her 23-month-old son playing with an unsecured revolver around 9 p.m. in a home on East Custer Street, according to police spokeswoman Tarah Heupel.

Two shots were fired from the gun when she attempted to take the weapon. One bullet hit her in the leg. She was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

Via Bob Cesca’s Awesome Blog.

Be polite to yourself.

An off-duty (Gloucester, NJ–ed.) township police officer was injured when his privately owned gun went off while he was unloading it, police said.

It really is time to talk about IQ tests for possessing firearms.

If you can’t figure out how to unload your own gun . . . .

All therapists agree: Be polite to yourself.

No one knows this more than residents of Florida.

It’s not armed robbers or warring gangs who send the greatest percentage of gunshot survivors to Florida emergency rooms.

It’s people who shoot someone, or themselves, accidentally.

Four out of every 10 people who are rushed to a Florida hospital or emergency room with a nonfatal wound were shot by accident, according to hospital data collected by the Florida Agency for Health Care Administration and published by the Florida Department of Health.

Be polite to your teachers.

A student carried a shotgun into Arapahoe High School, asked where to find a specific teacher and then opened fire on Friday, Arapahoe County Sheriff Grayson Robinson said. He shot a fellow student in the head before apparently killing himself.

More guns, no doubt, would have meant more politeness.

Read more »

Playing the politeness game:

Alex and a friend were playing video games in his family’s townhouse on a Sunday afternoon in February 2012 when Brandon asked his stepson to stop making so much noise, according to police and court testimony. But it wasn’t quiet enough for Brandon, who retrieved a 12-gauge shotgun and shot Alex three times.

Because, if you are not able to hold it, you must be politely taught.

The teen called his mother from Cleveland High School to tell her he was sick and coming home around midday, according to the affidavit.c

On the way home, he stopped at the basketball court at South Holly Park Drive and South Othello Street and got out of his car to pee in the bushes, reports indicate.

The teen told police he then heard an engine accelerate behind him. He saw a black four-door car. Someone fired a gun from the rear left window two or three times and hit his left leg.

Penetrating playful politeness.

On Wednesday, police say Avis and Ward were playing with the .22 caliber gun when she pointed it at his chest and pulled the trigger, believing it wasn’t loaded. A bullet hit him squarely in the chest.

Mother Jones looks at a year in childhood politeness.

Just read it.

And, via C&L, an additional tale of childhood politeness . . . .

Police responded to the scene after 6 p.m. where they found the boy inside the home suffering from a gun shot wound to the head. The child was then rushed to Riley Hospital for Children in critical condition and later died of his injuries.

Investigators have indicated that they believe the child accidentally shot himself in the head after he pulled the gun off a kitchen counter.