Gunnuttery category archive

He responded to parental discipline with politeness.

A Bemidji, Minnesota teenager was charged by juvenile petition last week with shooting his parents, telling police he became “irate” after they revoked his cellphone privileges.

Thus passeth another day in NRA paradise.

If you wish to force your moral views on other, do so with politeness.

Yet more neighborly politeness.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You won’t find one without the other.

They get fiendlier every day.

When you attend a party, be sure to treat the other guests to some politeness.

More politeness on the pavement:

Investigators say the victim had just left a gas station when a black Dodge Charger that had been in the same parking lot began following him down the highway. The caller told deputies someone inside the Charger threw a bottle at his vehicle before the suspect vehicle pulled alongside him and fired a gun.

We are a broken society.

There’s nothing like a little brotherly politeness.

Two “responsible gun owners” are driven to politeness.

The report details a chaotic sequence of events in which both vehicles veered into oncoming traffic lanes and off the roadway while trying to evade or confront one another.

Authorities say the situation ended when the pickup truck rear-ended Henderson’s vehicle near an intersection.

Witnesses told deputies they saw a driver waving a gun out of a window and both vehicles driving recklessly, putting others on the road at risk.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Another child . . . .

The report says it’s being investigated as an accident. Why isn’t it being investigated as negligence? you might ask.

Because calling it an accident lets the person responsible off the hook. That’s why.

More neighborly politeness:

A man accidentally shot into his neighbor’s home while cleaning his illegal weapon, the Prince William County Police Department reports.

And again, one must needs note that “accidentally” and “negligently” are not synonyms.

The hunt for politeness continues:

Authorities say the victim was positioned behind their decoys when another hunter spotted the decoys and fired shots. The victim quickly received medical treatment.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Another “responsible gun owner” feels compelled to expose his portable phallus to a child.

A 73-year-old was taken into custody after allegedly pointing a gun at a 13-year-old on an e-bike near a bike path along Cushing Park Road and Abitz Road in the Town of Delafield, according to Waukesha County Sheriff’s Department Lt. Nicholas Wenzel.

We are a society of stupid.

Another of those “responsible gun owners” practices politeness on the pavement.

Yet another gun that fired itself.

All I can say is that no gun of mine ever fired itself.

Apparently, one of those “responsible gun owners” lost track of his portable phallus.

On the afternoon of April 2, a D.C. police captain was at Level99 — a large entertainment center that bills itself as an adult playground with more than 50 physical and mental challenges in themed rooms — when he lost his personal weapon while playing a game, Fairfax County police said.

A teen found the weapon, thought it was a prop and pulled the trigger, investigators said. No one was shot.

One more time, “responsible gun owner” is an oxymoron.

This “responsible gun owner” was packing politeness while purchasing provisions.

I will venture to suggest that, in a society that is not broken, persons don’t have a need to bring their portable phalluses to the grocery store.

But that’s just me.