Too Stupid for Words category archive

. . . and everything loose rolls to California.

In my local rag, Bernadette Kinlaw takes on corporate doublespeak. A snippet:

CNN provided us with a wonderful yet horrifying example of gobbledygook.

Management had plans “to leverage internal efficiencies by enlisting external resources, thus driving a reduction in operating costs, thereby enhancing shareholder value.”

How would you interpret that?

We’re laying off people to save money and please our stockholders.

I worked in corporate America for a long time and I learned that long words and convoluted language meant one or both of two things: emptiness and treachery.

Do read the rest.

Afterthought:

You can rephrase the title of this post loosely as “git ‘r done.”

Honest to Pete, you can’t make this stuff up:

“Selfies” likely contributed to a single-engine plane crash east of Denver last May that killed two people, federal investigators said in a report released last week.

The National Transportation Safety Board said a GoPro video camera was found near the plane’s wreckage in Watkins, about 25 miles east of Denver. Recordings on the device showed the pilot and a passenger were taking “self-photographs” with their cellphones, using the flash during the plane’s takeoff roll, intitial climb and flight, the NTSB said.

And, in related news of the narcissistic . . .

Via Job’s Anger.

Anti-vax (pro-disease?) twits.

From outstanding warrants to instanding a cell.

H/T Susan for an outstanding instance of instand.

In search of the elusive one who’s born every minute.

Bigfoot enthusiast Tom Biscardi, who runs the website Searching for Bigfoot, is planning an initial public offering to pump cash into his quest for the (let’s face it) mythical beast, according to the Wall Street Journal.

As stated in his filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission, Biscardi hopes that selling stock in Bigfoot Project Investments will raise $3 million, the Journal reported.

Your tax dollars at work.

Frolics de mortuus.

More stuff you couldn’t make up.

Really, the random pointlessness is dismaying.

Has-been narcissist twits.

He who shall not be named.

Via Liberaland.

Honest to Pete, you can’t make this stuff up.

Where does Fox News find these people?

Frolicking in blue.

I discovered last night that my new television, which is quite a nice little television, seems to have no buttons. At least, I could not find any buttons, not even with the help of a flashlight.

If you can’t find the remote, you can’t turn it off. This produces a quandary if your partner has fallen asleep atop the remote.

I have another smaller, slightly older model from the same manufacturer that does have buttons (on the bottom right of the frame). If the newer one has buttons, they are certainly well hidden. Buttons are not a fit subject for a treasure hunt.

I can conclude only that we as a society are becoming too remote.

Frolickers without filters.

Heh.

Police have arrested a northeastern Pennsylvania man on suspicion of driving under the influence after he was spotted driving a golf cart from bar to bar.

Larksville police say the man told an officer he was using the golf cart to navigate the borough’s streets Monday night because he had been drinking and needed a way to get to a bar.

Sounds as if he had already been to enough bars.