Too Stupid for Words category archive

Instead of a status update, a poke(y).

Walmart cashier Beshaw Ogbanna thought he had outsmarted his bosses at the Haynes Bridge Road store in Alpharetta, employing an unsophisticated sleight of hand to pocket $20 bills from his register, according to police.

But investigators say he got greedy, stealing $3,100 over a span of five days. Then, police allege, Ogbanna got cute, posting photos of himself on Facebook holding up the money and writing how he loved his job.

Never a good idea.

Two teenage girls accused of sending threatening tweets about the 16-year-old victim in the Steubenville rape case were released on house arrest today and ordered not to use social media.

The girls, both 16, had been confined to juvenile detention since one turned herself in and the other was arrested March 18.

Girls defending rapists.

No self-awareness. None whatsoever.

Read more »

As a Southerner, I sometimes resent the portrayal of Southerners as hicks and boobs. From the days of old-time radio up through the Beverly Hillsillies on to Honey-Boo-Boo, it’s a steady current in the media.

But, really, with this sort of stuff, you can understand why:

Stay classy, Republican twits.

If you want to understand what happened in Steubenvile, you can start with than this:

A New York City man flying cross country with his 12-year-old son allegedly put his hand underneath the skirt of a sleeping female passenger and massaged her thigh, an act he later defended by telling the victim, “It’s not like I molested you. It’s not like I stuck my finger in your pussy or grabbed your tits.

I didn’t know that convicted rapists had groupies.

If you can’t play by the rules, change the rules.

The sometimes vexing question of where and when to add an apostrophe appears to have been solved in one corner of Devon: the local authority is planning to do away with them altogether.

Later this month members of Mid Devon district council’s cabinet will discuss formally banning the pesky little punctuation marks from its (no apostrophe needed) street signs, apparently to avoid “confusion”.

The news of the Tory-controlled council’s (apostrophe required) decision provoked howls of condemnation on Friday from champions of plain English, fans of grammar, and politicians. Even the government felt the need to join the campaign to save the apostrophe.

It is not surprising that the Tory (that is, English conservative) party would exercise such Sherlockian Watsonian logic.

At Columbia University in New York, students are envious of higher-scoring classmates – and obsessed with sex. At the University of Nebraska, roommates are a big complaint. And students are obsessed with sex. At UC Berkeley, students waste little time vexing about scores or roommates. They’re too obsessed with sex.

Revelations like these are found on Facebook “confession” pages springing up across the country, the 21st century equivalent of the college dorm’s bathroom wall: public, anonymous and the perfect listening post for the obsessions of your hot little heart.

Follow the link to learn about San Francisco State’s efforts to get the one about it taken down, because branding!.

Wait for the sequel, because First Amendment! which does not have a because stupid! exemption.

A fifth grader who brought marijuana to his school in an effort to stop his dad from smoking could be expelled from school.

(snip)

Klink said the student told officers he found marijuana in his dad’s truck and took it to school with him to show his teacher he wanted his dad to stop using it.

Grown-ups are stupid.

Really, just mindless arrogance.

Via AmericaBlog, which has more.

Television is a vast wasteland, and it’s just getting vasterior (that’s “vast” + “posterior,” if you must know).

If the embed doesn’t work, click here. Funny or Die embeds have been flaky lately.

Republicans, always classy.

I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Having been a boater, I am failed by words at this.

Daniel McBride, 39, was operating his 36-foot Concept vessel — powered by three 300 horsepower engines — around 10:30 p.m. Monday when he missed South Sound Creek in John Pennekamp Coral Reef State Park waters, crossed Airport Flat and went up on the mangrove island just south of South Sound Creek.

(snip)

Dube said alcohol is not suspected as a factor in the crash. Rather, McBride had his GPS setting too wide for the area and had the incorrect background lighting selected.

Picture of boat in the trees at the link.

Afterthought:

He. Missed. The. Creek.

Really.

Spoiled brat tween idol twits.

Who cares?

Bills supporting tougher texting-while-driving penalties continue to advance in the General Assembly.

Legislation cleared the Senate Courts of Justice Committee on Monday. It would make texting or emailing while operating a vehicle a reckless offense in certain instances, give police more latitude to stop suspected offenders and impose fines of up to $500.

A similar measure is pending in the House of Delegates.

As I was driving home from my brother’s yesterday, I kept half a weather-eye on a driver behind me.

I finally figured out what she was doing.

In her right hand, she held her iJunk and the steering wheel.

In her left hand, she was pecking at the iJunk.

For about five miles.

All this at 55 MPHs.

I was most relieved when she turned right and aimed at someone else.

I wonder if he can claim Obama derangement syndrome in his defense?

(Not that I’m condoning the action of the other driver, mind you.)