Too Stupid for Words category archive

He had had all he could stands, he couldn’t stands no more.

In the wee hours of a July morning, Lloyd entered a Walgreens in Fort Pierce and allegedly caused a disturbance because he was upset the store didn’t stock his drink of choice, reports Will Greenlee in his Off the Beat blog for TCPalm.com in Stuart.

. . . of the Absurd.

Are lap dances a form of theater?

That’s what the owners of three Philadelphia “gentlemen’s clubs” are contending as they try to block the city from taxing income from private dances – a move that would cost them as much as $1.5 million.

During the next few weeks, the city’s Tax Review Board will decide whether Club Risque, Cheerleaders, and Delilah’s will owe an additional “amusement tax,” . . . .

Yeah.

Right.

And the “gentlemen” are critics.

Tidbit:

Delilah’s is enshrined in an episode of Forensic Files.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Just what we need: Chuck E. Cheese for grown-ups.

I visited the Dave & Buster’s in Philly once.

Ex and I dropped to boat over in Wilmington and ran up to Penn’s Landing, where we tied up and walked about.

The gaming stations had buttons for calling tech support and the wait staff (to bring more drinks).

All I can say about the experience is that the Delaware River can be a lovely place for a boat ride.

I outgrew Chuck E. Cheese three kids ago.

All-Star twits.

No place to hide.

Apprehended twits.

“Catch me if you can.”

San Diego County District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis said Wanda Podgurski sent that taunting tweet after skipping trial in January while facing charges of insurance of fraud.

But then authorities did catch her.

One man’s joke . . . .

A social media post has fueled a squabble between two local attorneys, leading to a defamation lawsuit and contributing to a crackdown on electronics use in the city’s General District Court.

At issue is whether a Facebook post of a photo taken inside a courtroom this year was a harmless joke or a damaging misrepresentation, according to the lawsuit and response, filed in Circuit Court this spring.

Frolicky details at the link.

The Roanoke Times’s Dan Casey is somewhat skeptical of some of the arrests for soliciting contract killers, especially those in which the putative mechanic is an undercover officer seemingly ready to take the job.

The circumstances, settings and players were different, and the motives ranged from jealousy and greed to anger and infidelity.

But in each case there was a common thread: The killer-for-hire was an undercover cop, playing a menacing role opposite some ordinary fools who’d let their imaginations run wild. That’s the kindest way to put it.

(snip)

How do those average citizens hook up with faux hit men? That was one of the things I wanted to ask Virginia State Police. From our clip files it’s obvious the agency is the leading supplier of contract killers in the Old Dominion.

His attempts to secure an interview were unsuccessful.

Read more »

The mayor’s twits seemed to show him at a public event, one he had said he had to miss to move his son into the dorm.

The Tampa Bay Times called Foster to ask why he wasn’t schlepping boxes to a dorm room. He instantly responded, sending pictures of himself and his son on campus as well as a receipt from a Gainesville restaurant at 2:41 p.m.

“Been here all day,” he said. “The pic posted was from a previous walk. I wasn’t there. My campaign tweets. I don’t.”

Does anyone else see a disconnect there?

(Hint: Substitute “promises” for “tweets.”)

Full disclosure:

I have no position on the election. Just on the disconnect.

I received a postcard yesterday with the shattering news that my nine-year old truck with 110,000 mostly trouble-free miles on it would shortly be out from under its one-year factory warranty.

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Oops.

It would appear that using computers gives people who can’t spell, think, or proofread diploma-tic immunity (emphasis added).

The university discovered Tuesday that about 1,480 undergraduate and graduate students received diplomas in May 2013 and December 2012 that were missing the final “i” in Virginia and the second “e” in thereto.

Radford said the problem was caused when a commercial software system used to produce the diplomas within the university’s registrar’s office was upgraded last fall.

The software upgrade required the diploma wording to be re-keyed into the program and during that process the typographical errors were introduced into the template.

But the error in Wildberger’s diploma occurred before that change.

“I’m not racist, but” is always an oxymoron.

Facebooking the foreclosure-based economy.

Bringing new meaning to “sesame seed buns.”

I miss Philly.

Compared to Philly, Virgina Beach is pretty damned dull.

And where have they been for last 12 years?

It would seem that not paying attention is its own reward.

Grandstanders.

Pah!

Twits who HAARP on stupidly.

Now, ladies and gentlemen in the jury of public opinion, we have the three young men in Cocoa Beach who were not only reckless enough to jump cannonball-style onto a manatee and her calf, but also to post a video of the crime to Facebook.

Social media don’t make people stupid. But here in Florida they sure make stupid people stand out.

More frolicking Floridians at the link.