Too Stupid for Words category archive

A cyber-creep is still a creep.

An Atlantic County, N.J., man known to authorities as the “Facebook stalker” has been charged with harassment and making terroristic threats for sending threatening messages to random female Facebook users in South Jersey, state police said Wednesday.

Craig L. Wyatt Jr., 20, of Hamilton Township, told his alleged victims they had only a few weeks to live, so they should spend their time wisely.

This didn’t turn out quite the way the mope expected.

After learning that her daughter Kaitlyn had lost her phone, Donna Barr “called the phone number of the lost phone and a man calling himself Erick answered,” a cop reported.

Rojo allegedly refused to return the iPhone 3GS unless he was paid $40. He then offered to meet Barr and exchange the iPhone for the ransom.

The woman, however, contacted cops.

The hearing is next month.

In the Hamptons, no less. Gatsby’s playground.

A 63-year-old man who reportedly confessed to a months-long anti-Obama graffiti spree in a tony Hamptons village has been charged with felony criminal mischief and 13 misdemeanor counts, police report.

Lawrence Nickel was collared last week by East Hampton cops in connection with a four-month probe of the vandalism, which “made derogatory references to President Obama and his policies.”

Words fail me.

Honestly (as my mother would have said), you can’t make this stuff up.

Image via Mr. Feastingonroadkill.

In my day, we would t-p the place.

A dispute between neighbors may have led to three homemade bombs being placed on the lawn in front of a Bridgewater home on Sunday.

Two of the devices exploded.

It’s called a “mechanics lien.” You have to pay for the repair.

Police in Delaware have arrested a man after he stole his own truck out of a repair shop lot using a front end loader.

Delaware police say they were called early Friday to the Stop-N-Go in New Castle after a 1999 Chevrolet Silverado pickup went missing. Surveillance tapes showed a front end loader with fork lifts attached driving away with the vehicle.

If you don’t pay, the mechanic gets to lean on you.

I am familiar with Shenango Township. It’s between Pittsburgh and Erie and is extremely rural and hilly. It would not be unusual for persons to turn their lawnmowers around in the road.

The assault came after the teenager–who was cutting grass in front of his family’s home–drove a riding mower “on the road, apparently into the path of” McCosby’s oncoming vehicle, cops reported. After exiting his car, McCosby approached the boy and “knocked the juvenile off the lawn mower and assaulted him in the front yard of the residence,” investigators alleged.

In announcing McCosby’s arrest, cops noted that, “After the assault, and prior to fleeing the scene, McCosby got onto his knee in what appeared to be a prayer. Witnesses described it as a ‘Tebow’.”

Now, had he been packing heat . . . .

We are allowing “reality” television to rule our world.

Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up.

Yes, really.

The stupid. It burns.

This weekend, in the land of those other noted envoys for brotherhood, Katherine Harris and Vern Buchanan, the Republican Party of Sarasota will honor Trump at its sold-out annual “Statesman of the Year” award. Uh, isn’t this a bit like paying tribute to befuddled Missouri U.S. Senate candidate Todd Akin for his contributions to a better understanding of obstetrics?

Apparently the Republican Party of Sarasota equates Richard Holbrooke’s brokerage of the Dayton Accords, which brought an end to the Bosnian conflict, with Donald Trump boldly informing Snoop Dog that he isn’t exactly upper management material.

Compared to last year’s Republican Party of Sarasota “Statesman of the Year,” Trump comes off as Anwar Sadat. That would have been the Foghorn Leghorn of the GOP, former Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, who once famously said that he never really noticed any racial tensions while growing up. On his last day in office, he granted pardons and clemency to 203 people, including 19 convicted murderers.

Excerpt:

This is better than real.

This is war as we imagine it.

Via Raw Story.

Virtual divorce court (see the second letter).

Honest to Pete, you can’t make this stuff up.

How low can Fox News go?

Pretty damned low.

Aside:

Despite my determined ignoring of the quadrennial athletic marketing fest in Ye Olde Countrie, I know who Gabby Douglas is. She’s from these parts and therefore mention of her has been, like Savoir Faire, here, there, and everywhere.

Put your fingers in your ears and, all together repeat,

LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa

In North Carolina, a state-sponsored science panel warned sea levels could rise by more than 3 feet by 2100. So lawmakers supported by development interests responded with a bill to ban those figures. During their summer session, legislators moved to mandate that future trends be based solely upon historical data, which doesn’t account for the accelerated sea-level rise expected by many scientists. They said the move prevented the economic burdens of building farther from the coast or higher off the ground.

Can you say, “Asking for trouble?”

After a close eighth-inning call at first base went against the hometown Daytona Cubs, a Class A affiliate of the Chicago Cubs, Dye queued up an instrumental version of “Three Blind Mice,” the nursery rhyme about a triumvirate of visually challenged rodents and their run-in with a farmer’s wife. Home plate umpire Mario Seneca did not take kindly to the choice and gave Dye an oral heave-ho, along with the team’s public address announcer.

(snip)

“It was the first time we’ve ever played it,” he said, “and within about three or four seconds, the home plate umpire looks at me, points directly at me and yells, ‘You’re gone,’ as loud as he can.

It is one thing for fans to question the umpire.

It’s quite another for a team employee in the press box to do so.

(The story goes on to point out this has happened before in the Bigs, to the Phillies organist in the old Vet, almost 30 years ago.)

Man moves near to airbase.

Man doesn’t like jet noise.

Man shines laser at fighter planes.

Pilots lock targeting computer on laser.

Man cops plea, gets sentenced in October.

If you don’t like the smell of pigs, don’t move next to etc.

The Bensalem, Pennsylvania, volunteer fire department chose to use a gazillion-dollar Homeland Security grant for a fireboat, even though Bensalem has no approachable riverfront, no marianas, no shipping, and no port.

Apparently, they just wanted a boat that spurts. A nugget from a long article by Monica Yant Kinney:

The boat has located no weapons of mass or minor destruction. But there has been drama – caused by the firefighters themselves.

Just before midnight on Jan. 14, a guard patrolling the desolate Neshaminy State Marina called 911. The only boat docked there – “Marine 37” – was sinking.

Earlier that day, firefighters struck something while training with an employee of the Canadian manufacturer, MetalCraft Marine.

“A series of failures,” explains then-chief Jerri, “led to us not noticing there was a hole in the boat.”

The “Bear” took on 2,000 gallons and had to be lifted out of the water, drained, and repaired. Union paid the marina $500 for the use of a crane, but MetalCraft took the blame and ate the cost of the weeks-long repair.

On their own a month later, Union members destroyed a dock box and paid $600 for a replacement. Pulling in and out of the marina, they repeatedly damaged rub rails.

On April Fools’ Day, the “Bear” struck and sank a $25,000 hydraulic lift. The Pennsylvania Fish and Boat Commission investigated but filed no charges. Union covered the $500 repair.

That’s just since they took delivery in January.

Hope they do a better job driving their fire engines.

Facebook ’em, Dano.

Clifton C. Hicks, a former assistant commonwealth’s attorney in Norfolk, was charged Thursday with one count of posting a written threat to kill or do bodily injury to another on his personal account, court records state. Hicks, 41, was granted a $20,000 bond and released, records say.

According to an affidavit for a search warrant, one of the Facebook messages on Hicks’ page contained a threat to assault Underwood. “Underwood spoke with Norfolk investigators and indicated he took the threat to be serious,” the warrant says.

I suspect that overreaction is involved in this, but fighting words are fighting words, whether in person, in ink, or in electrons.