Too Stupid for Words category archive

I’ll be looking forward to seeing this on World’s Dumbest:

According to police interviews with store personnel, Riegler walked over to the self-serve coffee section of the convenience store, removed all of her clothing, danced around the store naked and rubbed up against a customer while making sexual suggestions.

She then walked behind the deli counter and asked an employee if he wanted to have sex with her and grabbed his buttocks.

Follow the link to see the list of charges against her.

This seems a little over-the-top.

A Michigan man has been charged under anti-hacking legislation designed to protect trade secrets after logging on to his wife’s email account and discovering she was having an affair.

Leon Walker, 33, faces a trial lawyers say could have significant repercussions given that nearly half of US divorce cases involve some form of snooping, such as reading emails, text messages or social networking.

Part of the question seems to revolve around whether it was his or hers.

I cannot help but think there is more to the DA’s decision to prosecute than meets the eye.

Zero Tolerance and Maximum Stupid, a match made in heaven.

A 13-year-old boy was arrested Friday for using a permanent marker while in class at his Oklahoma City middle school, a violation of an obscure city ordinance.

According to an Oklahoma City Police Department report, the boy was spotted “in possession of a permanent marker” by Roosevelt Middle School teacher DeLynn Woodside. The 50-year-old educator told cop Miguel Campos that the student was “writing on a piece of paper, which caused it to bleed over onto the desk.”

The kid was thrown into juvie and the cops impounded the marker.

These will convince you that Twitter must die.

From El Reg:

An Indianoplis man was pulled in by cops last week for drunk driving while watching porn.

Actually, he was only charged with drunk driving – Indiana law not appearing to have a law governing the viewing of smut while hurtling down the highway while nominally in control of a tonne-and-a-half of car. At least not at the moment.

He was so engrossed in the flick that he didn’t turn it off when the cop came to his window.

I predict a sales increase for the producers.

Via Balloon Juice.

As much as I detest MacDonald’s–I think it’s ruined burgers for me for the rest of my life–I must say I have not yet seen a three-year old navigate a Ford Exhibition through the drive-through lanes:

A California mother of two and The Center for Science in the Public Interest are suing McDonald’s Corp. to get the fast-food chain to stop using toys to market meals to young children.

They say McDonald’s is violating several consumer protection laws by marketing its Happy Meals directly to young children because it exploits children’s vulnerability.

“What kids see as a fun toy, I now realize is a sophisticated, high-tech marketing scheme that’s designed to put McDonald’s between me and my daughters,” said Monet Parham, of Sacramento. “For the sake of other parents and their children, I want McDonald’s to stop interfering with my family.”

She forgot to give the bottle to the school nurse when she got to school.

A mother and daughter face drug charges after school officials found Ibuprofen in the girl’s purse Monday at Baker Middle School, Columbus (Ohio) police said.

Pamela Lewis, 35, was charged with one count of distributing a dangerous drug. Her 12-year-old daughter was charged with a possession of a dangerous drug and suspended from school for 10 days, according to Lewis’ uncle, Donnie Davis.

(snip)

Davis said Lewis gave her daughter the pills because she had been complaining of cramps.

Zero tolerance, meet maximum stupid.

A man caught naked in a south Mississippi church cemetery says he was trying to take photographs of spirits.

Robert Hurst tells The Picayune Item newspaper that he shed his clothes because he believes skin is the best canvas to show spirits’ orbs of energy.

Really, is it indecent if no sees you but a few ghosts?

But dog bites man is supposed to be not news:

A US Airways flight headed to Phoenix made an emergency landing in Pittsburgh after a dog on board bit a passenger and a flight attendant.

We know where she stands in the phony war on Christmas:

The woman who robbed a Spotsylvania County bank Wednesday afternoon actually robbed two tellers before leaving the bank and shouting “Merry Christmas,” police said.

Christine O’Donnell gets book contract.

Or else:

A man accused of stealing a car by driving it through a glass showroom door while most people were home digesting turkey, was caught when he ran out of gas, according to an Albany (Ga,) newspaper.

The story starts about 46 seconds in (Warning: mild language):

Via Balloon Juice.

From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

A match between 10-year-old girls’ soccer teams disintegrated into a slapping incident Sunday morning in Forsyth County when a 39-year-old mother went onto the field and smacked a 30-year-old male referee.

Dateline Braintree:

A Braintree teenager will face charges of texting while driving after she struck a telephone pole early yesterday, police said.

er, yeah.

Actual portion of actual envelope delivered in actual mail by actual uniformed employee of the Federal government driving a marked vehicle. The occasion is the impending lapse of the first year of a two-year subscription:

Episode 1: Liftoff.

Police said a trooper shooting radar along N.J. 55 clocked Negron running his red Suzuki sport bike at speeds of more than 120 mph around 11:25 a.m.

Negron zipped past the officer in the northbound lanes and shortly afterward crashed into the back of the SUV at mile post 52.8 in Mantua, police said.

The impact threw Negron through the back of the vehicle’s window and into the rear seat, police said.

A rough landing, but the astronut is recovering,

I would suspect these folks already have computers, likely even laptops.

Is there any kind of justification for locking them into the walled orchard:

The Aurora (Colorado) City Council is considering trying out iPads to go green and help save some green.

(snip)

City officials say it currently costs $710 to print each city council information packet and another $200 per council member to assemble and deliver the packets.

It’s happening here in the city and in the state:

This year, the General Assembly is initiating a pilot program that will place iPads in the hands of select legislators as an alternative to the more common PC laptops they have been assigned for about the past decade.

State lawmakers first received laptops as part of a 1999 pilot program which was extended the following year to provide computers to all 140 members of the legislature. Since then, those computers have been replaced every 3-4 years.

It is possible that there are data security concerns that justify the government’s purchasing and setting up the computers, but let’s look at the math: They could get laptops for half the price of iPads and netbooks for a third the price.

They are letting themselves get sucked into the Apple vortex of hype.

Colorado edition.