I Get Email 2

Really lame emails from major national insolvent banks.

The subject line said “confidential.” (They had my email because I signed up to get my whatchamaycallit W-4 whatever form the interest is reported on? last year). What the heck is confidential about this?

Call us to discuss your mortgage and services that
may be of interest!

Consider one of these simple options to contact us, check your account status and make your monthly mortgage payment if you wish.

Option 1: Go to www.[bankname].com to automatically make your payment.

Option 2: Call us, at [toll-free number] and select Option 2 to make your payment by phone.

Please call us today!

I’m not going to call them to discuss anything (‘cept maybe their bonuses, but you know the poor minimum wage bozo who is doing honest work by answering the telly phone doesn’t get a bonus–after all, he or she is doing honest work; that’s not bonus-worthy).

They send me a bill. I send them a payment.

They have no other services that may be of interest.

Boneheads.

Oh, yeah. It’s ungrammatical also. It is a sin to omit the last comma in a series.

Ungrammatical boneheads.