Republican Jesus 0
Shamelessly stolen from kavips:
John 3:20: Jesus looked upon the crowd and proclaimed, “Oral contraceptives are murder. If a woman is truly raped, her body will shut that down. Rape the children but remember to ask God for forgiveness, because only then will you enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
Mark 12:17 Then Jesus said unto them, “Overthrow Caesar. Refuse to pay your taxes or proclaim them wrong. Run for office and take over your nation’s rulers and replace man’s law with God’s law. It is God’s will that you lie and cheat to achieve these goals.