Gunnuttery category archive

In the Great White North, the hunt for politeness continues.

The three men were out hunting when one of them got separated from the others. Police said one of the men shot at what he thought was a rabbit and injured the 20-year-old.

One wonders, was it his fluffy white tail or his long furry ears, or are the rabbits just bigger in Canada?

Cleanliness is next to politeness.

Police say that the victim was sitting in her vehicle clearing her weapon when it was discharged, striking her in the leg. Officers applied a tourniquet to her leg until EMS could get to the scene.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Once again, politeness is child’s play.

When officers arrived, they discovered a 2-year-old with a single gunshot wound.

They say the child was alert and able to communicate while being taken to the hospital. . . .

Officials say they believe a sibling was holding the gun when it went off.

Play politely.

Shortly after 8 p.m. Wednesday, officers were called to the a home located on along Highway 347 in Leonville in reference to a shooting.

When officers arrived, they found a man shot in the head inside the home. Witnesses said the man was playing with a pistol when it accidentally went off.

Werner Herzog’s Bear has a theory about the recent “gun rights” demonstration in Richmond, Virginia. He suggests that there is much more to it than the demonstrators’ affection for the mobile masculinity machines. Here’s a bit:

Today we see the militia members march in Richmond, and they claim that they did so without committing violence. Meanwhile, people affiliated with them commit atrocities like shootings in Charleston and Pittsburgh and they pretend they have nothing to do with the behavior of these “lone wolves.” It’s an old trick but it keeps working because our government and media are too lazy to press the issue.

What is it about putting a lie on a picture that somehow makes the lie more believable?

Afterthought:

This is part of why I source the QOTD.

Politeness, in your dreams . . . .

A 57-year-old Hackensack man was placing his gun on the nightstand while preparing for bed before dawn Wednesday when it went off, shooting him in the abdomen, authorities said.

. . . and yet another gun that is described as firing itself.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

oliteness is a family value.

A preliminary investigation by detectives found that a 36-year-old man with a concealed handgun on the small of his back was play-wrestling on a bed with his 4-year-old son.

Police said, while the two were playing, the gun fell from the father’s person and a shot was fired, striking both the father and the 4-year-old in the head.

Demonstrate politeness upon the nation’s highways.

As she got closer to the exit, an unknown driver swerved in front of her. She swerved out of the way and honked her horn at the suspect as she passed him, according to police.

The suspect then pulled in front of her and slammed on his brakes, police said. She temporarily lost control of her SUV, but was able to avoid having an accident, driving around the suspect.

But the suspect continued, pulling up next to the SUV and shooting at least three rounds into the driver’s side of the car, authorities said.

The woman’s 9-year-old daughter was shot once in her left side during the incident.

And thus passeth another day in NRA Paradise.

It is widely considered inadvisable to play with your portable explosive ego exhancement engine whilst abed.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Practice random acts of politeness.

A suspected sniper has been taking shots at passing vehicles on a major highway in Eastern North Carolina, and it may have been going on for days, witnesses say.

Aside:

What’s with the “suspected sniper” phrasing?

Sniping is taking place, therefore there is a sniper.

Furrfu.

Demonstrate politeness as thou partakest of thy repast.

According to police, the man was eating his meal when he spotted a friend across the restaurant. The man – who is a licensed concealed carry holder – took out a pistol from a holster and set it on the chair next to him. He covered it with a napkin.

The man said hi to his friend and returned to his table when the gun went off.

The man quickly announced to the restaurant what happened and asked if everyone was alright. Everyone said they were, police said, until an 80-year-old woman seated at a nearby table said her back ached. Friends looked at her back and found a bullet had entered through her shoulder and passed out her chest.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Gun locks for me, but not for thee.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Show off your politeness that all may see.

The couple, 23 year old Christopher Garry and 21 year old Christina Garcia claim a man decided to show off his new gun.

They told officers the weapon fired by accident and grazed Garcia but Garry was struck in the hand and leg.

Demonstrate politeness to users of self-propelled, two-wheeled conveyances.

According to the arrest affidavit, Dickens and Stubbs were in the vicinity of Blake and Veterans Memorial Boulevard when they stopped a person riding a bicycle nearby and began yelling. According to the cyclist, Stubbs asked if the person wanted “to get smoked,” before pulling out a handgun and cocking it.

Thus passeth another day in the NRA’s Garden of Bleedin’.

Politeness just keeps truckin’ on.

One more time, “responsible gun owner” is an oxymoron.

In more news of the polite, local gun nuts desperately fear separation from their portable male members.

Aside:

I know that Freudianism has long since fallen into disrepute, but, honest to Pete, Freud would have nailed this one, because it’s all about a certain type of envy.

She phoned in the politeness.

Demonstrate courtesy whilst going about your day-to-day business.

These kids did not stand a snowball’s chance in politeness:

Shortly before 8 p.m. Saturday, officers from the Milwaukee Police Department responding to a report of a shooting arrived to find a 12-year-old girl and a 13-year-old boy suffering from gunshot wounds. It didn’t take long for authorities to figure out what had triggered the act of violence: a single snowball.

“Preliminary investigation indicates both victims were with a group of juveniles throwing snowballs at cars passing by,” the police department wrote in a series of tweets Monday. “One of the snowballs struck a white Toyota, no further description, and the driver of the auto fired shots into the group of kids striking the two victims.”

Just another day in the NRA’s winter wonderland.

And here’s an extra bonus bit of politeness.