Gunnuttery category archive

Just another day in the NRA’s Garden of Eden.

On Martaevious Santiago’s 17th birthday, he shot his 13-year-old sister in the back of the head.

She had just hugged him in the kitchen of the family’s Florida City home, police said. As they separated and Tedra King walked away, Martaevious pointed a loaded semi-automatic handgun at her. Then he pulled the trigger and killed her.

Martaevious told police it was an accident.

More guns would have no doubt prevented this.

Get a load of the politeness.

The father of former Florida State football star Travis Rudolph was killed when, according to authorities, a gun accidentally went off at a Florida strip club.

The Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office said Monday that 55-year-old Darryl Rudolph was in a storage room fixing items at Sugar D’s Adult Club in West Palm Beach on Friday when another worker moved a gun off a shelf in an adjacent room and it fired.

Just another day in NRA Paradise.

Politeness is going to the dogs.

Police say that people were out walking a dog. That is when another dog from another house in the neighborhood reportedly got loose and attacked the dog the people were walking.

According to police, one of the individuals walking allegedly tried to shoot the attacking dog using a legally permitted gun, but accidentally shot another person they were walking with in the lower extremity.

The hunt for politeness continues.

“The shooter swore he’d seen strutting toms and some other turkeys right up until then.”

But in reality, he’d been looking at a gobbler’s preserved tail fan, behind which Gary Dienst and Justin Wiles had been hiding and sneaking. The shooter was behind another fan. Bussone said the hunters ended up hunting each other.

Actual wild turkeys are smarter than these turkeys. They can tell the difference between turkeys and humans . . . . .

Politeness is the foundation of a successful relationship.

Pasquotank Sheriff Randy Cartwright said Wednesday that the shooting appears to have been accidental.

Witnesses said Williams’s girlfriend was returning the shotgun to a gun rack when it accidentally discharged, damaging a wall and causing several pellets to strike Williams, who was in an adjacent room, Cartwright said.

Politeness is nothing to toy with.

The Wake County Sheriff’s Office said the boy and an 11-year-old girl were playing with the gun Friday night at a home on Fishing Court.

The 12-year-old was shot but his injury is non-life threatening. The shooting was ruled accidental.

Politeness sells.

A 19-year-old Juneau man considering the purchase of a handgun was wounded when the gun fired, striking him in the leg.

(snip)

Police say a 22-year-old man was at the Wharf Building trying to sell the handgun. As the men handled the loaded handgun, it fired.

More guns no doubt would have prevented this.

Practice makes polite.

DDeputies said the child was playing in the backyard when she was hit in the upper body. She was taken to the hospital, but is expected to be okay.

Witnesses said residents in the area were target shooting when one of the rounds missed a backstop, striking the girl.

Clearly these clowns need all the practice they can get.

Be polite to your neighbors (emphasis added).

“Preliminary investigation revealed the neighbor was manipulating a firearm in his apartment,” the lieutenant said. The handgun went off, sending a bullet through the wall separating the apartments, and striking the girl in the abdomen.

Rescuers took the wounded teen to a hospital, where she was listed in critical condition after undergoing emergency surgery, Jackson said.

Afterthought:

“Manipulating a firearm” would appear to be police-speek for “playing with his portable penis.”

Share the aisle.

Officers were dispatched Monday to the Wooster Street Market in Shelton after a 911 caller reported that a man “brandished a firearm” during a quarrel.

The complainant, cops noted, reported that he was “arguing over neighborhood issues” with Mario Williams, 58, when “Williams pulled a firearm and pointed it at him during the dispute.”

Per the mugshot at the link, the mope was proudly wearing his NRA tee shirt as he sought a second amendment solution.

. . . and a polite society is a clean society.

Henry County police said the father was cleaning his weapon inside a home in the 100 block of Bob White Drive. The gun went off with a single bullet, striking both the father and his daughter.

If you are too stupid to make sure your gun is empty before cleaning it, you are too stupid to have gun.

In related news, Florida sticks with the programming. An excerpt from Daniel Ruth’s column:

When the 2018 election cycle arrives and your member of the Florida Legislature is telling everyone that he or she is a vigilant crusader for law and order, ask a simple question:

When you had the opportunity to revise Florida’s ditsy “stand your ground” law to make it even easier for the citizenry to shoot one another with less legal risk than a Kremlin assassin, how did you vote?

And if the vote was yes, you can conclude that your elected poltroon is a prevaricating, hypocritical, weasly National Rifle Association lackey. Too harsh?

This is a neat trick. The Florida Legislature is poised to take one of the nation’s most stupid — and needless — laws and make it even more inane. We’re number dumb!

Politeness can’t be contained in one room.

Police say security at the university reported to police that there was an accidental shooting where the victim had a gunshot wound to his head.

(snip)

Investigators believe the victim was shot by another student, who was in a separate room when the gun discharged.

Mary Jane makes you more polite.

One of the men there, Alec Troutman, 19, of Warner Robins, told the police that he had pulled his .38-caliber pistol to show it to Moore, who wanted to see it, a sheriff’s report said.

“Mr. Troutman stated that as he went to hand the revolver to Mr. Moore, the hammer engaged causing it to shoot a round into Mr. Moore’s arm,” the report noted.

No doubt the hammer engaged all on its ownsome, without intervention from external agency, such as, for example just to mention a possibility, the bozo holding the gun in his hand.

(Actually, Mary Jane probably does make persons more polite, or at least more laid back, but it sure as shootin’ don’t make gun nuts smarter.)

In related news, remember what I said yesterday about guns turning “hes and shes” into “males and females”? Police-speak seems to exist in a place apart from humanness.

Addendum, Later That Same Day:

Badtux goes off on guns that “just go off.” (Warning: Language.)

Guns on campus are working out so very nicely, thank you.

One person was injured after a gun was accidentally discharged at a University of St. Thomas dormitory Friday night, St. Paul police said.

About 7 p.m., a round fired from a firearm at Flynn Hall grazed the male victim, who suffered a minor injury, St. Paul police acting Cmdr. Jennifer Corcoran said. Corcoran was not sure where in the residence hall the shooting occurred and if the shooter and victim were university students.

The practitioner of politeness has not been produced.

Pardner, I think this cowpoke was packing his ole shooting irony.

A National Rifle Association employee accidentally shot himself while doing firearms training at the organization’s headquarters, according to police.

The 46-year-old man’s pistol accidentally discharged Thursday afternoon as he holstered the gun in Fairfax County, Virginia, police said.

A mess of politeness:

The woman told police her 38-year-old boyfriend, who also lives at the home, was outside the bathroom “messing” with a semi-automatic pistol when it accidentally went off.

The woman was in stable condition, police said Monday.

The stupid. It burns.

Just another day in NRA Paradise . . . .

The Corpus Christi Police Department has arrested the father of a 2-year-old after that young boy accidentally shot himself in the face over the weekend. . . .

Investigators said that Morales left a loaded semi-automatic gun on the kitchen table, within reach of the child. The child got ahold of that gun and accidentally shot himself in the face, officers said. He later died at the hospital.

More guns would not doubt have prevented this.

Let a little politeness into your relationship.

Officers said it appeared as though the man was standing in a back bedroom and handling an AR-15 when it accidentally went off.

That bullet passed through a wall and struck the woman who was in the bathroom. She died a short time after officers arrived.