Gunnuttery category archive

Share your politeness.

A woman, 24, reported she was in her bedroom showing a gun she keeps under her pillow to a friend, 26, around midnight at a home on the 500 block of Mulberry Road.

She told police she took the magazine out of the 9mm Canik pistol, put the magazine back in, and as she held the gun in her hand, a bullet fired, Bellingham police Lt. Mike Johnston said.

The round struck the man’s right leg above the ankle.

I have figured out how all these guns fire on their own. As their ammosexual owners caress them, the weapons eventually reach a peak of excitement that makes inevitable a premature–er–discharge.

Afterthought:

Gun nuts refer to this phenomenon as “cleaning my gun.”

Set an example of politeness for your younger siblings.

A 21-year-old from Draper (Utah–ed.) was taken to the hospital Saturday night after being shot in the leg while showing off his new gun.

Sgt. Dan Ko with Draper City Police said around 7:30 p.m. the man was showing off the gun to his little brother in their Draper home near 338 W. Inauguration Rd. in Draper.

Rear your children with politeness.

Police are investigating after a toddler was shot and killed on Monday in Milford Township, Bucks County.

The boy has been identified as 2-year-old Benjamin Austin Smith.

The gunnularity draws closer, as yet another gun mysteriously fires itself . . . .

“I was advised a Ruger LC9s semi automatic 9 mm pistol was lying in the console area of the vehicle as (the man, the child and the grandfather) were sitting in the vehicle,” Hatton said in a report. “At some point, the pistol discharged and passed through the console, striking (the child) in both legs and striking (the father) in the left leg approximately three inches above the knee. The bullet lodged in (the father’s leg).”

(Yeah. Right.)

Get a loan of a politeness at your friendly local hollow-core pawn.

Practice random acts of politeness.

Politeness means that families do things together. For example, they go on spontaneous family outings.

Logan Police Chief Tyson Budge said a 5-year-old boy apparently got hold of a loaded hunting rifle about 8 p.m. Monday. The firearm discharged, the bullet striking the boy’s 13-month-old brother in the foot.

Police said a 911 call reporting a shooting came from residents below the second floor unit of a multi-family apartment building near 500 East and 500 North. The callers told police that soon after the gunshot, two adults ran from the unit above them with a child in their arms.

Cleanliness is next to politeness.

The unidentified 30-year-old father told deputies that he was cleaning his gun about 6:40 p.m. on the family’s porch when it misfired after he sat on it, according to the incident report and Lott.

The bullet that struck the toddlers in the upper body also grazed the father’s hand, according to the report and a news release. The 4-year-old required surgery, but her injuries are not life threatening, Watts said.

One of the children died.

Afterthought:

When I had a rifle, I also had a cleaning kit and cleaned it regularly. As best as I can remember, sitting on the gun was not part of the procedure.

Unloading it first was.

Post-Afterthought:

You do realize all these bozos who claim that they are “cleaning” their guns as they kill innocent bystanders are doing no such thing.

They are fondling them, and cleanliness is the farthest thing from their tiny ammosexual minds.

More polite family values . . .

Phoenix police are investigating the accidental shooting of a toddler who found a gun in a drawer in his family’s home and was wounded when it discharged.

Firefighters said the boy was taken to a hospital after being shot in the upper leg Wednesday night, and fire Capt. Reda Bigler said the boy was conscious and breathing when firefighters arrived.

. . . and another gun that fires itself.

Self-politeness is the politest kind,

Police said an initial investigation revealed Deutsch shot himself in the leg while sitting inside a Honda SUV, which was parked just outside the entrance of the cemetery nearest Pleasant Street. . . .

Deutsch was alone inside the vehicle at the time, Mello said.

Show a deft hand at politeness:

A 22-year old Shoshone Place man is recovering after accidentally shooting himself in the hand. . . .

(Murfreesboro Police Officer Jeff–ed.) Carroll reports finding a spent shell casing in the living room of the home. A hole in the kitchen wall led to the adjacent unit. Inside that unit, there was a hold (sic) in the wall that led to the living room couch.

Historical politeness is the politest kind.

Authorities in Alabama say a man was practicing with his crossbow in his front yard when he accidentally shot a United Parcel Service driver in the chest.

And, in more news of the polite . . . .

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Politeness is a family value.

Investigators say he told them he was showing 20-year-old Genesis Rodriguez how to take a gun from someone when he accidentally shot her.

Lebron-Rivera says his wife had his gun when he got out of the shower, and he did not recall inserting a magazine before they started playing with it. Officers found Rodriguez dead at the scene.

Play with politeness.

A 6-year-old child is expected to recover after accidentally shooting himself Thursday morning.

The child was playing with a firearm in a Lawrence residence in the 500 block of Wisconsin Street, when the weapon discharged, shooting him in the foot at 7:45 a.m.

The gunnularity continues to draw nigh: Yet another gun “discharges” itself all on its ownsome . . . .

Entertain your guests politely.

Belgrade (Montana–ed.) Police are clarifying more details on the accidental shooting death of a 9-year-old boy. The child, Greydun Flinn Stockinger didn’t live at the house where the accident took place.

He was visiting someone at the home. No adults were present, but another boy was there.

Is politeness your bag?

A 34-year-old woman was injured Sunday in an accidental shooting in an unincorporated area of Everett, according to the Snohomish County Sheriff’s Office.

The shooting occurred at about 10:30 p.m. in the 12100 block of Andrew Sater Road, the office said in a news release. Deputies arrived at the scene to find a woman, whose name has not been released, with an apparent gunshot wound to the stomach.

Witnesses told investigators a man visiting the property had a gun of unknown type in a bag, and the gun discharged when he set the bag down.

According to the story, the man beat feet.

Politeness ensures domestic tranquility.

A Pennsylvania man bought a gun one day after police responded to a domestic dispute at his home and used it less than three weeks later to kill his wife, three children and then himself, authorities said.

The gunnularity draweth nigh, as yet another gun fireth itself.

Police were called to Sentara Careplex on Aug. 9 for a walk-in shooting victim. An investigation found that Blazer and a woman were at a home on Ambrose Lane at the time of the incident.

Blazer was reportedly handling a gun, when the firearm discharged and a bullet it (sic) the woman in the foot.