Gunnuttery category archive

Be polite on the highways.

The victim was driving his Chrysler 300 west on the Expressway about 10:30 p.m. between Montgomery Drive and Route 1 when he accidentally cut off another driver, said Cpl. Gerard McShea, of the Pennsylvania State Police barracks in Philadelphia.

The victim said he saw the car behind him speed up and then heard a loud crack, McShea said. One bullet smashed the back windshield and cracked the front windshield and appears to have just missed striking the victim.

Locally, some call it the “Surekill Depressway,” but, even for the Surekill, this is unusual.

Of course, if the victim had had a Glock in the glove compartment, this would have never happened, as it would have restored the balance of politeness.

Celebrate birthdays politely.

William Scroggins, 34, met Michael Abernathy, 35, and his brother at a Circle K store at 5105 W. McDowell Road at about 11:30 p.m. to celebrate Abernathy’s birthday, according to Phoenix police. Scroggins had brought Abernathy’s sister to the Circle K with him.

Scroggins and Abernathy argued while at the Circle K, said Sgt. Trent Crump of the Phoenix Police Department. Scroggins is suspected of pulling out a handgun, shooting Abernathy and threatening to shoot his brother.

Watch Thom tangle with a glibertarian who keeps trying to change the subject.

These folks are nuts.

Manage family issues politely.

The man grabbed his shotgun when his ex-girlfriend showed up at his house, authorities told TV station KSAT. When his girlfriend tried to intervene, the gun went off, wounding her, according to police.

News reports of polite celebrations continue to surface.

Guns don’t make persons safe.

They make persons stupid.

Be polite when you see the light.

According to the Mitchell Police Division, the 34-year-old man was sitting alone in a lawn chair on the back porch of his residence, located in the 400 block of East Ninth Avenue, when a family member turned on the porch light and opened a nearby door. Startled by the light and noise, the man woke up and unintentionally pulled the handgun’s trigger and shot himself.

He drove himself to the hospital.

Via TPM.

More signs of polite celebrations:

Police investigators say they think a woman injured by a bullet Thursday night outside an uptown Charlotte club was struck by a shot fired into the air by someone on the Fourth of July.

In related news, Daniel Ruth considers a recent incident in Tampa, which has been mentioned in these electrons.

Celebration time.

Police said the boy was walking with his father shortly before 9 p.m. near a Brandermill restaurant along the reservoir, where a crowd was gathering to wait for a fireworks display. As the father and son were walking, the child fell to the ground, bleeding from the head.

Lt. Randy Horowitz said police believe the gunshot wound “was a result of someone shooting randomly into the air, likely from a distance, and not an intentional act.”

There is a doctoral dissertation in researching the correlation between gunnuttery and stupid.

Via my local rag.

Have a banging good time in Bangor on the Fourth.

A man in a Park Street residence (Bangor, Maine–ed.) who fired 70 or more rounds from a gun was taken into custody unharmed early Thursday afternoon, according to police.

Bangor police received a call at 8:30 a.m. for a report of a man firing shots at 47 Park St., said Bangor police Sgt. Paul Edwards after the man was in custody.

Raw Story reports that Bangor’s Fourth of July Parade had to be rerouted around the scene.

Yes, we have a trifecta of politeness today! Cash in your tickets at the window.

Fred Turner Jr., the Orlando man who was killed in a road-rage shooting on Interstate 4 while he was on the phone with emergency dispatchers Saturday, was a victim of mistaken identity, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said.

More familial politeness.

Sheriff Albert Marano said William Owens, 11, of Jarvisville, was lying in bed when he received a single gunshot wound to his chest. Just prior to the shooting, Owens’ grandmother, Tina Owens, 57, of Jarvisville and Owens’ father heard what they thought to be intruders tampering with their properties outside.

Tina Owens went outside to investigate, taking along a .40 caliber pistol and fired multiple shots to scare away the intruders. One of the shots went astray, said Sheriff Marano, traveling into the house wall and hitting William Owens in the chest. William later died from his injuries.

Astray my anatomy. If you are not aiming at a known target, every shot is “astray.”

Despite what the NRA would have you believe, guns are not magic wands that bestow courtesy, safety, and civility. They have one function, one that they accomplish most efficiently.

It’s not going to stop, is it?

Via TPM.

Treat your brothers and sisters politely.

According to WSMV, the siblings were at their grandparents’ home in Hopkinsville on Sunday evening while their grandfather was cleaning his .38 caliber handgun. The grandfather told reporters that he thought the gun was unloaded when he stepped away for a moment.

The grandfather said he believed that the 4-year-old boy picked up the pistol and shot his sister in the mouth, causing a bullet to lodge in her spine.

(Yet another gun nut who didn’t make sure the damn thing was unloaded.)

Spread random acts of politeness.

Kissimmee police are trying to find out who shot bullets into eight homes in two city neighborhoods.

Be polite in the parking lot.

A drunken Houston man shot himself in the head Thursday morning as he played with a gun in the parking lot of a local business, police said.

Chastise the children, politely.

At a sleepover at DeCamp’s home for his son’s 12th birthday May 18, DeCamp reportedly flaunted a gun in front of his son and 10 of his son’s friends. Rubino said DeCamp got annoyed with the noise the boys were making, went in the room where the boys were and pulled out a gun.

Two mothers of boys at the sleepover contacted the James City County Child Protective Services after learning of the incident and filed a complaint.

Settle relationship issues politely.

DeKalb County authorities are on the lookout for a man who is accused of fatally shooting a woman last week after she refused to talk to him about their relationship.

Be polite at home.

A Milwaukee man shot his 6-year-old daughter to death and then committed suicide after fighting with the child’s mother Sunday, police said.

It doesn’t end, does it?

According to the Evansville Police Department, Gilbert Ricketts, 48, allowed three children, ages 10, 9, and 8, to hold his .22-caliber rifle. Ricketts told police that since he had the permission of at least one of the children’s parents, he removed the rifle’s magazine and allowed them to hold it. He told police he was unaware that a round had been left in its chamber.

Notice how these “good guys with guns” never seem to know when their damn guns are loaded?

Celebration time, avec politesse.

Fifteen-year-old Brandon Reid says he was watching Miami Heat players celebrate their world championship on Thursday when a bullet came through his mother’s sliding glass door and hit him in the head.

Police tell The Sun Sentinel (http://bit.ly/129Qxb3) that they think the bullet was from celebratory gunfire prompted by the Heat’s win. Miramar Police spokeswoman Tania Rues says police received multiple calls about shots fired in the area and that it doesn’t appear Reid was targeted.