Gunnuttery category archive

Via Bob Cesca’s Awesome Blog.

Party politely.

Police said a 51-year-old man was going into the club when he got into an argument with an employee outside the night spot. The two men apparently knew each other and had a previous dispute.

During the confrontation, the employee pulled a gun and opened fire, wounding the other man.

If both of them had gotten the drop on each other, certainly no one would have been hurt.

Will Bunch has a question:

Still, how many people know there’ve been not one but two gun slayings of five people — the other took place near Seattle — just since Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was arrested in Watertown last Friday? Neither was more than a pebble in the great sea of televised news. Why?

Be polite on the way to the practice range.

A female passenger in an SUV was shot in the jaw Sunday when a gun inside the vehicle discharged accidentally. According to Miami’s Channel 10 News, the woman was part of a group of people on their way to a shooting range.

Afterthought:

Honest to Pete, back when I took an NRA gun safety class in high school, in the olden days when the NRA was a hunter’s organization, before it became a lobbying group, lesson one was never transport a loaded gun.

Lesson two was unload guns before transporting them.

These people are nuts.

For all their worship of their rifled idols, they persist in treating them as toys, playing with them as if they were Barbie dolls of blued steel.

The Pennsylvania Gun Club assembles to profess their love of their lord. (Apparently, Jesus was all about instruments of death.)

Kay Hartman, a Mifflin County “tea-party patriot old enough to be wise,” carried a large white flag featuring a black AK-47 over the words “Come and Take It.”

Another woman held a sign: “Gun Control is False Hope; Jesus Christ is the True Hope.”

And thus we go from gun nut viagra to gun nut sacrament.

All together now:

Lift high the royal re-peat-ing gun and crown it Lord of all.

Be polite in the drive-through:

Really, now, what’s the big deal?

He was just hanging around, fondling his piece.

The Inky reviews gun nut logic.

There’s no use passing laws against jaywalking, because some pedestrians will still jaywalk.

There’s no use passing laws against speeding, because motorists will still speed.

There’s no use making it a crime to rape or murder, because victims will still be assaulted.

As dumb as those statements sound, they sum up the view of lawmakers who say there’s no use passing tougher gun laws because criminals will break them.

The NRA.

Be polite in the waiting room:

As Andrew Bonci treated a patient at his Mission chiropractic office Tuesday, a “huge bang” echoed from his waiting room.

Rushing to see what happened, Bonci encountered a 6-year-old girl with a bullet hole in her lower leg and her 14-year-old cousin saying again and again, “I’m sorry.”

A letter writer in yesterday’s local rag made a point about shopping where a fellow shopper was packing heat in the produce aisle:

I grew up around guns. I enjoy target practice. But I was brought up to believe that guns are to be respected, not flaunted. They are not toys. They are not fashion items.

Learn more.

Via The Richmonder.

That is, Packing Teachers’ Association: Michael Feldman imagines the faculty meeting in the new age of faculty with heat.

Winning the race to politeness:

A medical examiner says a man who died in the infield during a NASCAR’s NRA 500 race at Texas Motor Speedway shot himself in the head. The event was the first NRA-branded race in NASCAR’s premier series.

It shall not come as a surprise that a pick-up truck was involved.

Honest to Pete, you can’t make this stuff up.

If you did, no one would believe you.

No doubt he was politely standing his ground parking space (or some such nonsense):

The incident happened just after 5 p.m. in the parking lot of the Collier Commons Plaza at 2121 Collier Parkway. A 75-year-old man shot a 51-year-old man in the shoulder, Pasco Sheriff’s deputies said. The injured man was not in life-threatening condition.

Nothing to see here. As they used to say in the John Wayne movies that gun nuts take so seriously, “only a flesh wound.”

Working towards an “Associate of Politeness” degree, no doubt.

The New River Valley dealt again with the trauma of a school shooting Friday when a gunman opened fire inside a community college satellite campus.

Police on Friday night said they have charged 18-year-old Neil Allan MacInnis as the shooter after two women were wounded at a New River Community College facility.

Welcome to NRA world.

Three shots thunder through white hallways with black-and-yellow signs that read: “Mustang Pride.”

“Help! Somebody help! Someone got shot!” a woman’s voice echoes inside the school.

Behind her, a man’s body lies in an open doorway.

Down the hall, a police officer commands: “Walk to us!”

Another officer walks beside him, pointing her gun.

That scenario, played out inside Hugo A. Owens Middle School in Deep Creek on March 28, was only a drill.

Gun nut paradise approacheth apace.

Cirque de la politesse:

Authorities say a Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus elephant was hit by a bullet in a drive-by shooting in Tupelo, Miss.

Le stupide, il brûle!

A male student went on a stabbing spree at a community college in northwest Houston on Tuesday, injuring at least 14 people, two of them critically, Harris County Sheriff Adrian Garcia said. The campus was sealed off.

Garcia said at a press conference that an emergency call came in at 11:12 a.m. local time: “Male on the loose stabbing people.”

No doubt, had he had a gun, politeness would have restrained his hand and no injuries would have ensued, none whatsoever.

I am quite certain it would have worked out that way.

Oh yes, yes indeedy do.

Read more »

No heat at NRA press stunt.

Daniel Ruth reports:

The only odor to be detected was the wafting of NRA hypocrisy hanging over the room.

Reporters entering the make-believe news conference were subjected to searches; even water bottles were confiscated, which might suggest some very fine vodka could have been discarded. It was the National Press Club, after all.

Still, it does seem a bit odd that the National Rifle Association, the purveyors of Big Fear, which wants everybody to be able to carry a gun anywhere they want, would suddenly go all weak in the knees over the remote possibility that someone attending Hutchinson’s Potemkin Village news conference might be packing heat.

The only threat the assembled scribblers posed to Asa Hutchinson was misspelling his first name with an extra “s”.

A little child shall lead them, politely.

A 4-year-old Toms River, Ocean County, boy shot his 6-year-old neighbor in the head last night with a rifle, police confirmed this morning.

And in other news of the polite,

A cookout in Tennessee ended in tragedy over the weekend when a 3-year-old child accidentally shot and killed the wife of a Wilson County sheriff’s deputy.

As always, Susie Sampson is on the job: