Too Stupid for Words category archive

Instead it’s gone to the national lookalike chains:

An “obnoxious” karaoke performer who decided to go topless for the late-night crowd at a Florida Applebee’s was arrested yesterday after he allegedly assaulted the restaurant’s manager.

Via Contradict Me.

Oh, goody.

Another public exercise in Hollywood’s pleasuring itself to pictures of itself.

I must avert my eyes.

I gather that there was another pointless, interminable, self-congratulatory awards ceremony last night.

More like “anger mismanagement”:

While meeting with an anger management counselor, a Kentucky woman was seen punching her 10-year-old son in the face, according to cops who later arrested her on an assault charge.

Talking about picking the wrong place to act out . . . .

You might see this on COPS or, more likely, World’s Dumbest: A thousand dollar fine for attracting attention.

The chase began in the pre-dawn hours Thursday when officers reported a man followed a patrol car for seven blocks before pulling his SUV around and taking off at speeds of up to 70 mph. Officers say Hughes was traveling faster than 100 mph on the interstate before officers laid out a spike strip to flatten his tires.

When asked why he started the chase, Hughes said, “I just always wanted to do that,” according to the police report.

Via Contradict Me.

The Pipe Dream tour.

Via Thoreau.

One can see the rationale for the law–one can imagine a Scott Walker or Rick Scott trumping up charges for political ends–but perhaps it needs a little rethinking.

Colorado state Rep. Laura Bradford (R) was pulled over last week in Denver on the suspicion that she was driving under the influence. During the stop, she admitted to drinking and failed a field sobriety test, but cops claim they were unable to arrest her. Under an obscure state law, elected officials making their way between “legislative events” have immunity from prosecution.

This is hardly partisan. Remember Wilbur Mills.

Homeland Security takes traveling twits seriously.

Via GNC.

Business owners along northbound U.S. 202 in Talleyville (Delaware–ed.) know it’s lunchtime by the honking.

Around noon each day, motorists waiting to place orders at the McDonald’s drive-thru window back up into the roadway north of Fairfax, holding up traffic in the right lane and forcing drivers behind them to brake for the fast-food line.

The story goes on to report that there have been accidents and even more near-misses and that the line blocks entrances to other businesses in the block. The McDonald’s has hired extra staff for lunches and posted warning signs, which are ignored.

This stretch of the Concord Pike (which columnist Ralph Moyed used to call the “Conquered Pike”) is a six-lane wide (sometimes 10 with turning lanes) suburban shopping strip with small businesses, some medium-sized shopping centers, a couple of hotels, and a mall, all packed closely together.

If I recall correctly, the speed limit is mostly 45 with a stretch of 35, limits most drivers wave to on the way to 60.

Savvy locals learn quickly the streets to use to avoid 202 (my favorite was Shipley).

The McDonald’s sits on a small lot in the middle of the block. It serves the same cookie-cutter garbage as every other McDonald’s.

There is no accounting for taste.

Once again, a Georgia school comes up with the wrong way to address slavery in school. This time it was in Gwinnet County, a wealthy suburb north of Atlanta.

The school district released a statement to Channel 2 saying, “The school district looked into concerns regarding four students who participated in a playground activity. The district determined that the activity was student initiated and that allegations regarding the teacher’s involvement were unfounded.”

Ericka Lasley told Channel 2 that her 8-year-old daughter said she was a slave and other students were slave catchers during a game similar to tag. The third-grade student said the teacher proposed the game based on what the class is learning.

“She would sit on the bench and the slave catchers would come up to the door and ask did she have any slaves,” the girl said.

Addendum, Later That Same Day:

ABL explains what should have happened:

TOMMY: Hey you wanna play slave/slave catcher?

SUZIE: Gee ok.

TEACHER: ::blows whistle:: HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!

You can’t make this stuff up.

A new high school in Utah was, for a while, considering the “Cougars” nickname and mascot for their sports teams. That is, until parents started complaining that might be offensive to women.

Click for a larger image.

Via Some Gut with a Website.

Don’t believe everything you read:

So when a South Korean man received an email promising him tens of millions of dollars in a lottery scheme if he travelled to South Africa, he fell for it.

The offer turned out to be a so-called 419 scam on an epic scale. South African police say the credulous man arrived with his daughter only for both to be taken hostage in a township for four days.

Why persons will believe stuff they read on a computer when the wouldn’t believe the same stuff if it came in the mail continues to baffle me.

H/T to my brother for the link.

A math worksheet for third graders that used examples of slavery in word problems has angered some parents at a Norcross elementary school, Channel 2 Action News reports.

One word problem stated, “Each tree had 56 oranges. If 8 slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?” Another said, “If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in 1 week?”

The school’s defense is that the teachers were trying to work history into the math exercise.

If that was indeed their motive, this was a profoundly stupid way to do it.

The worksheets are being pulled.

How does a 14-year-old American turn into a 22-year-old Columbian and get deported?

By being brown.

I have no doubt that, had she not been not-white, someone would have said, “Wait a minute. She doesn’t look 22. Let’s look into this a little deeper.”

No doubt whatsoever.

Via C&L, where’s there’s more.

The BBC reports:

In-vehicle internet access is close to becoming reality, according to the world’s top car bosses.

The survey by KPMG looking at future trends shows speech recognition and internet connection with wi-fi and 3G will become the norm.

More than a third (37%) of the 200 car executives believe “infotainment” in cars is nearly as important as car safety.

Car manufacturers will also join forces with music, telecoms and IT companies.

I predict that the bottom will fall out of the scrap metal business because of a smashing increase in supply.

Stock car twits spinning out on the curves.