The New Contrition, Bankster Style 0
Dr. Gerry Mander explains:
I am a trader in the City, wealthy by virtue of persistent endeavour and minded to dismiss all festivity as humbug. But on Christmas Eve I was visited by three spirits of the season past, present and yet-to-be. I was reminded of the kind heart I once possessed and alerted to the ill consequences of my hardened manner. I resolved to soften it forthwith and on Christmas Day bestowed great charity on a clerk in my employment. But, the thing is, I’m due a fat bonus in the new year and quite fancy a new carriage. And maybe a winter break in the colonies. Is there a way to redeem my soul without giving all my money away?
E Scrooge
Dear Mr Scrooge
It was once considered easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. But the criteria have recently been relaxed. Instead of sustained commitment to collective solidarity we now have the “Big Society”, which means that by giving Tiny Tim a bit of turkey at Christmas you have cleansed your conscience and are free to go back to business as usual.
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