Gunnuttery category archive

“Polite.”

Rhymes with “bright.”

A man in the US state of Colorado has died after shooting himself in the head during a game of Russian roulette, police said.

Anthony Martin, 21, and other men were drinking and playing with a gun before the incident, Pueblo Police Sgt Eric Bravo told the Pueblo Chieftain.

Mr Martin died at the scene early on Sunday.

Investigators believe he did not know the gun was loaded, Sgt Bravo said. No arrests were made.

Be polite to the neighborhood kiddies:

Police say a 3-year-old girl has been fatally struck by a stray bullet in Detroit following an apparent dispute between neighbors.

Impotent, but polite.

Police said the victim, whose name was not released, had a handgun stuffed in his pants pocket while he ate inside the restaurant, on Bartram Avenue near 88th Street in Eastwick.

About 7 p.m., the man reached in his pocket and apparently discharged the weapon by accident, shooting himself once in the groin.

Welcoming the zombiepocalyse, the polite way:

A 23-year-old Longmont (Colorado–ed.) man has been sentenced to 55 years in prison for a shootout with a police officer he said he mistook for a zombie.

Teaching your children responsibility through example, the polite way:

A Longmont (Colorado–ed.) man who police say accidentally shot two men with an AK-47 last year — and then tried to blame his 10-year-old son for the incident — is being sued for the second time by one of his alleged victims.

Moving on from a relationship necessitates courtesy.

When you shop, be sure to treat the sales staff with courtesy:

A ‘sovereign citizen’ in Pensacola, Florida allegedly opened fire at a seafood market after learning that they had run out of crawfish.

(snip)

When law enforcement tracked him down and tried to arrest him on foot, Kelly allegedly attempted to hit them with his car.

According to the Sheriffs Department, four loaded guns were found in Kelly’s car, including a 12-gauge shotgun, a pistol, and a revolver. The book “The Sociopath Next Door” was also found. Kelly told law enforcement that he is a sovereign citizen (someone who believes that almost all forms of government in the U.S. are illegitimate), and that he doesn’t have to follow the law.

Politeness pays on the pike:

Two drivers told police in Macon (Georgia–ed.) that gunshots were fired into their cars as they headed south on Interstate 75 through the central Georgia city.

Always welcome visitors politely.

Always be polite to your spouse or significant other to ensure domestic tranquility.

Recreation, the courteous way:

Police say a boater was shot while on the Delaware River on Friday afternoon by Delaware City (Delaware).

(snip)

Police were checking firing ranges along Route 9 as a possible source of the gunshot.

The state of Delaware has a public firing range in that area; my younger son and I have used it. (I believe that everyone should know how to handle a gun, just as strongly as I believe that persons who worship their guns are creepy and dangerous.)

None of the individual ranges face the river except for the shotgun range, and it’s too far from the river for shot to carry.

Family time, the polite way:

A Marin City man was arrested on suspicion of child endangerment Sunday in connection with the accidental shooting of his 13-year-old nephew in the leg in a Marin City apartment, authorities said.

Proselytizing, the polite way:

Just when you thought the sad saga of Quran-burning Florida pastor Terry Jones couldn’t get more absurd…

According to Southfield, Michigan police, Jones’ .40-caliber handgun fired accidentally as he was leaving a television studio there on Thursday night. This is presumably the same handgun he said he intended to bring to his planned anti-sharia law protest in Dearborn, Michigan on Friday, though he’s said he’s come to Dearborn “totally in peace.”

Offered without additional comment, from Philly dot com:

Even the most devoted of animal lovers cannot hug a porcupine. So why not shoot a few more of these literally unlovable creatures?

“Why not?” seems to be the sum total of the Pennsylvania Game Commission’s rationale for legalizing the hunting of porcupines – which, with a top velocity of 2 m.p.h., are only a little more difficult to “hunt” than a bag of hammers.

Read the whole thing. If you can find a reason for this other than the one I offer in the title to this post, please share your theory in a comment.

The Do-Bee says, “Always be polite to your playmates.”

A teenage boy shot his buddy in the wrist last night in Mantua but police and family members say it was accidental.

Breaking up, the polite way:

A Montgomery County veterinarian charged with killing his pregnant girlfriend bought the gun used in the slaying just five days beforehand, court records say.

I mentioned this when it first happened. Now the case proceeds towards trial.

The “manslaughter” case mentioned below involves another case of a hunter bagging one of those two-legged deer so easy to spot because of their distinctive orange vests, in case with a rifle. In the densely-populated suburban county in which the two-legged deer roam, hunting with a rifle is banned because, well, it’s a densely populated suburban county and a even a .22 calibre bullet can travel over a mile.

A nugget.

As the manslaughter case moves toward a May 31 trial date, much of the public’s attention may focus on how Groh was shot.

But from Manilla’s (the defendant–ed.) perspective, the greater concern is that he had a gun in the first place. As a felon – convicted of aggravated assault in 1985 – he is banned by law from possessing a firearm.

If convicted of involuntary manslaughter, a first-degree misdemeanor, Manilla faces up to five years in prison.

But he also faces three felony counts of illegal firearms possession for the guns he had with him in Bucks County. Each count carries a maximum sentence of 10 years.

And federal authorities may be looking into additional firearms charges.

He had about six dozen guns to keep himself felling warm and comfy and virile at night.

Teaching politeness to youth in Deadwood, Pennsylvania, (Not to condone teen drinking, but I don’t think it’s a capital offense.):

An elderly man fed up with teenagers drinking in a large, vacant swath of land near his Bridesburg home confronted a group of the teens Saturday night and shot a 14-year-old boy who was among them, police said.

Every town a Dodge, every high noon a shoot out.