Too Stupid for Words category archive

They aren’t.

They are just being humorless. And ponderously pretentiously pedantically pedestrian.

So much for taking responsibility for one’s own actions.

Talk about wasting the taxpayers’ money.

The Virginia Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control announced this week that Virginia Tech has received a grant to help curb binge and underage drinking on its campus.

According to a news release from the ABC, Tech will receive $8,900 from the state’s “Operation Undergrad” grant program to boost the campus police bicycle patrol and social media outreach program “Hokies for Party Positive.”

Substitute almost any college in the story, the effort would still be futile.

Some things never change.

Banking twits.

I had heard about this twit.

Why am I not surprised that he’s an Southern twit?

A sense of timing:

A California man was arrested and nine guns, including rifles and a shotgun, were seized after threats were posted on Facebook against Los Angeles elementary schools, police said Monday.

Kyle Bangayan, 24, of Pomona was booked into the downtown jail Sunday for investigation of making criminal threats, police Cmdr. Andrew Smith said. He remained in jail with bail set at $500,000.

Steve Welch, losing Pennsylvania Republican candidate, tries to blame Facebook for the Republican Party’s poor fortunes.

You really must read the whole exercise in denying the reality of Republican whackjobbery.

A nugget:

The result is that Facebook is pushing the Republican Party into no man’s land and convincing single-issue extremists in the party that it is a good idea in the process. The loud minority on Facebook drown out, and even worse, attack dissenting views. It turns out teenage girls are not the only people who use Facebook to bully individuals.

In other Republican news, levees cause floods, junk yards cause car crashes, and bad smells cause manure.

Stay classy, guys.

(Florida–ed.) House Speaker Will Weatherford has apologized for the behavior of some lawmakers at a retreat last month when several Republican members who had been drinking became unruly at a Disney World hotel.

Weatherford said he’s still trying to learn what happened, but was concerned enough about reports of rowdiness that he apologized to members the next day and warned he could not condone “unruly behavior.”

Details at the link. Seems they just had to have themselves some see-gars.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Big Smack(down).

Irate that his McDonald’s hamburger had a piece of unwanted cheese on it, a Pennsylvania man allegedly assaulted a female employee of the fast food restaurant, police report.

According to cops, the customer knocked over a trash can and threw a high chair after discovering that his burger order had been botched.

Republicans filibuster themselves.

What a fustercluck.

Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up.

Via Bob Cesca’s Awesome Blog.

The San Jose Mercury-News schools you in how to track your teenager’s romantic progress (by the way, what’s with your skeevy fascination with teenagers’ romances, anyway?) via Facebook.

Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up.

Many years ago, one of my coworkers went out for dinner with a member of my company in the Left Coast office.

He ended up getting stuck with the bill for a bottle of Dom Perignon.

His comment afterwards was quite a propos: “I don’t care how good it is. No champagne is worth $35.00 a glass.” (As I said, it was a long time ago.)

I would say that that comment applies to this football ticket:

This time it cost him $21,000 — about how much Pate and his wife have donated to the school since graduation, making them eligible to purchase two seats under the school’s points- based ticket-allotment system. The game will provide a spot in the national championship contest for the winner and has produced the highest resale prices for any college conference championship this season.

The couple paid $100 each for seats in the upper deck, far less than the current lowest price of $337 for one ticket, according to TiqIQ, an aggregator of the ticket resale market. Prices range as high as $5,747 for a seat in the front row of the stadium’s mezzanine section as of Nov. 28, according to TiqIQ data.

Figuring a playing time of 60 minutes, not counting commercials, that’s $350.00 a minute.

I can think of a few things I’d be willing to pay $350.00 a minute for, and large people running into each other at high speed is not one of them.

It’s only game, folks.

And a corrupt and crooked one at that.

Heh.

While stationed with the Navy SEALs, Lt. Cmdr. Christopher Lee Tappen wanted an easy way to fly home to the West Coast to see his wife. The plan he devised now could land him in prison.

Tappen, 35, admitted in federal court Wednesday that he built a plane, on the government’s dime, out of parts he ordered through his job. He pleaded guilty to filing a false claim and faces up to five years in prison when he is sentenced April 1.

MarketWatch dot com, an organ of Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal, has implemented a Fiscal Cliff Countdown Clock (remember the “Fiscal Cliff,” a creation of your gridlocked-by-Republicans Congress as romanticized by your fact-free media?), the better to scare you with, my dear.

No link. Find it yourself.

It’s all myth and hype, dreamed up by, natch, a marketer, and spread by a credulous media complex that can’t tell fact from fiction in shopping or politics.