November, 2008 archive
Linguistics: If It Sounds Awkward, It Must Be Correct Dept. 0
Every once in a while I succumb to the darker side of my nature and get sucked into some celebritart news.
In one such weak moment, I read this:
Pant.
I hear that atrocity as a term for “pants” used more and more frequently, especially in conversations about women’s fashions (which are often atrocities in and of themselves).
Pant.
That’s what dogs do.
It’s not what persons wear.
Where Do All the Vacuums Go? 2
We learn from our youth that “Nature abhors a vacuum.”
So, where do all the vacuums go?
I figured it out today.
Between the ears of my dogs.
I was vacuuming today (not the same thing as a vacuum, even though I was using a vacuum).
The dogs don’t like the vacuum (it’s probably the high frequency of the electric motor). The one dog will view it suspiciously from her perch on the couch. If she’s not on the couch, she will hide under a bed.
With Robin-Hood-like accuracy, she invariably chooses the next bed under which I intend to vacuum.
(The one other dog will, if I don’t keep a sharp eye on him, attempt to pee on it–to show it who’s boss, I guess, sort of like the opening scene of that old mini-series, Shogun).
The other two (this includes the little pisser) sit in a corner of the room and watch.
When I go into another room, they follow me.
Why, I ask, if they don’t like the damn vacuum so much, don’t they just leave?
That’s when I figured out where all the vacuums go.
Seen on the Street 0
And oh boy! is this true.
English doesn’t borrow from other languages.
English follows other languages down dark alleys,
knocks them over and goes
through their pockets for loose grammar.
AC Casino Profits Go Up in Smoke 1
Gambling’s down:
The Borgata layoffs follow Harrah’s Entertainment Inc.’s announcement last Friday that it was cutting hundreds of employees at its four Atlantic City casinos: Bally’s, Showboat, Harrah’s Resort and Caesars. The four casinos employed 16,034 in September.
So let’s light up:
The council changed its mind at the last moment and agreed to repeal the smoking ban for at least a year, but couldn’t legally stop the no-smoking rules from taking effect on Oct. 15.
The ban expired a minute after midnight Sunday, and gamblers can now light up again.
The theory seems to be that hoards of unemployed and laid-off smokers who don’t know where their next meal is coming from or whether they will have a house next month will flood the casinos and feed the quarter-eaters.
What a business model.
Speechless 3
Unfortunately, I know far more about the dark side of human relationships than I ever wanted to.
But I really do not have the words to express my reaction to this.
Morris Dees Is the Real Deal 0
Chalk up another win for the good guys:
A jury on Friday ordered Imperial Klans of America grand wizard Ron Edwards and two former lieutenants to pay 19-year-old Jordan Gruver $1.5 million for lost wages and medical expenses and Edwards to pay $1 million in punitive damages.
Sign up to be part of the forces of Truth, Justice, and the American Way here.
Billy Mays 0
Man, I think I’m going to get some of that Mighty Mendit stuff.
But wait! There’s more!
Beats sewing.
Now, where did I put that flying pig?
Any Ignorant Fool Can Start a Blog 0
There’s me, for example.
And, er, him.
But I bet he didn’t set it up and configure it himself.
Via Andrew Sullivan.
Addendum:
One contributor thinks that Sarah Palin is behind Joe the Dumber’s new blog.
Bushonomics: I Get Mail Dept. 0
Several years ago, when I was out on the Left Coast doing a training gig, I registered with the L. A. Dogtrainer (as Harry Shearer calls it).
From time to time, seldom more than once a month, I get email notifications from them.
This one is truly special.
Bad Moment 0
Thought I was out of capers. Can’t make chicken piccata without capers.
Capers are the difference between dull and sublime.
Isn’t Verizon Wise to Him Yet? 1
Brendan makes a phone call.
A Silver Lining? 0
Hitmeter 2
I don’t pay too much attention to traffic here at the old website. In fact, the hit counter for the main website rolled over and played dead a while ago and I haven’t bothered to resurrect it. I do this because I like making computers do things. And if I can in so doing annoy some persons in public, that’s even better.
I know that there are a few persons who come here regularly. I appreciate every one of them.
There are also occasional persons who stumble on me.
But what amazes me is that this post generates more traffic than anything else here through searches.
Guys.
Calm down.
It’s a picture.
And she’s dressed.
More dressed than most of the celebutarts I see in the local rag everyday.
What’s all the fuss about?
