From Pine View Farm

Stand and Deliver 6

This is the pastor who prays for Mr. Obama to die.

Never in my life–and I’ve attended churches most of my life–have I heard a pastor pray for someone to die.

Or preach about how to pee.

Update: Whoops! Forgot to add a title.

Via Balloon Juice.



  1. Glomarization

    September 9, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    The phrase is used when god is telling the Hebrews whom to kill when they make war against various cities. It’s early in the Old Testament — several times in 1 Samuel. It’s not a directive as to how to relieve oneself; it’s a directive to kill the men (the ones who pisseth against the wall) but spare the women (who don’t piss against the wall).

  2. Frank

    September 9, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    That makes this permutation into bathroom etiquette so amazing.

  3. Glomarization

    September 10, 2009 at 6:59 am

    I want to know how you graduate from seminary without understanding what’s meant when the phrase is used. It doesn’t show up in translations newer than the KJV simply because, in 1611, it wasn’t yet considered an expletive to say “piss” for “urinate.”

  4. Frank

    September 10, 2009 at 7:06 am

    He didn’t graduate from seminary, according to his own website.  Like Lady Miranda, Gypsy Reader, he just hung out a sign.

    Pam’s House Blend reports that he’s a security tech.
    But he’s memorized over 100 chapters of the KJV.  And we all know that God spake in Elizabethan English.

  5. Glomarization

    September 10, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    See, this is why the Catholics have always said that you can’t teach yourself religious doctrine just from reading the bible on yer own, Luther and Calvin be, uh, darned.

  6. Frank

    September 11, 2009 at 9:54 am

    I attended Catholic church for 18 years during my late marriage and even taught Sunday school there as a substitute. It is accurate to say that they teach “doctrine.”

    It is unlikely that this clown’s “Baptist” church is affiliated with any organization. Even the Southern Baptist Convention, which has retreated into the stone age since the Texans took it over from the Virginians, has some standards.

    If you were to visit First Baptist of Phila. at 17th and Samson (where I attended when I lived in Narberth), you would find it very staid and strikingly mainstream (it’s an American Baptist Association church). The pastor when I attended was a professor at the seminary out on City Avenue who taught how to write sermons, a very thoughtful man who gave tightly reasoned, intellectual sermons–you know, the type of stuff that would appeal to me.

    One of the things that embarrasses thinking Baptists is that any bozo who starts any kind of crackpot church tends to append “Baptist” to the name.

    “Baptist” means only two things in addition to regular Protestant Christian theology: Belief in baptism of the believer upon profession of faith (in other words, no infant Baptism) and baptism by immersion as the preferable form of baptism. (Trivia: The pastor at First Baptist once told me that the seminary taught 17 different grips for baptism, to accommodate different ages, sizes, and sexes.)

    It doesn’t mean “crackpot bonehead knuckle-dragging fanatic.” But crackpot bonehead knuckle-dragging fanatics like to call themselves “Baptist.”

    I’ll tell you a story about why I put “doctrine” in quotes.

    The whole time I attended Catholic church, we were never denied communion, though both of us had been divorced and the pastors knew I was not Catholic. When my older son–the one in the Army–was being confirmed, the Pastor at that church wanted every family to attend confession before the confirmation.

    So I did. I fumbled around and made up something innocuous. At the end, the priest asked me if I had a preferred act of contrition. I pretty much didn’t have an answer. Then he asked me if I had a favorite prayer of Bible verse. I said, Psalm 51:10.

    When I got out, I told my wife of this. She said, “Well, he knew you weren’t Catholic right then.

    “You knew a Bible verse.”