From Pine View Farm

The Orange Event Horizon 0

Assistant:  The Epstein Files, ICE deportations, Venezuela, Trump's power grabs . . . There's so much news, Professor.  It feels like time itself has been distorted.  Professor:  You may be closer to the truth than you realize.  I believe that our president' brain is such a dense vortex of narcissistic self-absorption that it has literally collapsed in on itself, creating a localized black hole in the fabric of our universe.  The gravitational forces trying to rip us apart become more severe the closer you get to Donald Trump, which explains the chaos constantly swirling around him the the White House.  And time becomes dilated in the event horizon of a black  hole.  Until now, no one knew what the experience would be like from the inside.  But if my theory is correct, we are all trapped in the event horizon of the hole in the president's brain, and time no longer has any meaning.  Assistant:  That's terrible.  What can we do?  Professor:  Oh, nothing at all.  There's no escape from the gravity well of a black hole.  That's just science.  But look on the bright side.  It could be a form of subject immortality, as long as we don't mind spending every moment of eternity thinking about Donald Trump.  Assistant:  Um, do you have, like, a disintegrator bear or something I could walk into?  Professor:  Probably.  Let me take a look around.

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