From Pine View Farm

The Progress Report 0

Elon Musk:  Welcome everyone.  I've been asked to chair this meeting of the President's secret task force on moving fast and breaking America.  I'm sure you're all familiar with the carnage I'll be leaving behind soon.  So--what have you broken recently?  RFK Jr.:  On, this is easy.  I'm gutting public health like it's a bear I found in the road.  My policies on vaccination and contagious disease are gonna kill so many people.  Musk:  Excellent.  Keep up the terrible work, Bobby.  Pam Bondi:  I've been absolutely slandering that guy we accidentally sent to Cecot, mocking the very concept of justice.  Due process can kiss my ass.  Musk:  An admirable lack of shame and decency, Pam.  You are making sociopathy great again!  Pete Hegseth:  I've created chaos at the Pentagon and I've been caught texting secret war plans to civilians--twice!  I'm actually livestreaming this meeting to my dentist.  Musk:  If anyone in the room was up to the job, Pete, it was definitely you.  J. C. Vance:  I've alienated friend and foe alike.  Also, I met the Pope, then he, uh, died.  Musk:  You know, J. C. even I think you're weird.  Now, before we adjourn, what have you got for us, Mr. President?  Trump:  What?  Oh. One word, Leon.  Massive, unpredictable tariffs.  I'm gonna tank the global economy before this thing is over.  Vance:  Sir, you are an inspiration to us all.  Trump to Vance:  Who are you, again?  Kash Patel:  Sorry I'm late, I had to have a bothersome judge arrested.  Musk:  Kash, I knew you'd deliver the goods.

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