Beyond Beyond the Fringe category archive

I am not a hunter, though I grew up among hunters.

The dentist who has lately been in the news for killing Cecil the Lion was no hunter like any I ever knew.

He did not hunt. He let others do that.

He just killed.

The outdoors columnist for my local rag talks about Cecil the Lion. If you are not a hunter, or even if you are, I commend it to your attention.

Hint: It’s all absurd.

A Cambridge too far . . . .

A former Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) lecturer has been sentenced to a year in prison, after videotaping himself as he robbed a Manhattan bank last year.

The Boston Globe reports that Joe Gibbons is an “experimental filmmaker” and that he allegedly planned to use the footage from his heist in an upcoming film.

Pigs can fly–oh, wait.

Southern Beale.

The resident curmudgeon at my local rag takes on the trend towards self-indulgent wedding wankery.

As my old boss used to say, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while.

Mississippi doesn’t take kindly to their uppity kind.

June is graduation month, so when the person at the lectern says save your applause until all the graduates’ names have been called, it is probably best to heed that warning, especially if you live in Mississippi.

Police have issued warrants (that is right, warrants) for four people who shouted or cheered during Senatobia High School’s graduation ceremony.

But I’ll take one any day of the week over those stupid “ducks.” My Daddy rode in an amphibious vehicle so I don’t have to.

Pedal Pub in Minneapolis

They came armed and on bicycles, planning a “Mad Max”-style attack.

Their target was PedalPubs in downtown Minneapolis. Their weapons of choice were squirt guns and water balloons.

What they didn’t know was that there were off-duty cops among the passengers.

Two of the people-powered, 16-seat vehicles were hit Saturday in the late afternoon in the Warehouse District, said Lisa Stanplin, manager of Twin Cities PedalPubs.

He had all he could stands he couldn’t stands no more.

A man reportedly stripped naked in the Charlotte Douglas International Airport Wednesday morning after he became angry about a flight being overbooked. Police say he will not be facing charges.

I flew into Charlotte once, back in my road warrior days. It was the only airport I had seen with a snack bar in the baggage claim area.

I found out why. I could have roasted a turkey before my bag appeared . . . .

A Canadian who would like to legally come to the United States to work because most of the jobs in his field are in the States recounts his experience. A nugget:

Sure enough, a letter arrived 30 days later. It told me the center is on the case but that I should not make too many plans for my move to the United States, because there is a waiting time for processing. I was instructed to go to the State Department’s website to check on wait times, which it bases on the “priority date” of my application. My priority date was Jan. 9, 2011, the date we filed the original paperwork.

After a few clicks I discovered that, for Americans sponsoring siblings from Canada, the wait time is about nine more years.

Yes, that’s right: 13 years total processing time. They are now processing priority dates of March 2002, and with my priority date of January 2011, they should get to me by March 2024.

I guess when you find the place of your dreams . . .

Authorities say a log cabin that a family reported stolen off its foundation has been found in rural northeast Washington.

Stevens County Sheriff Kendle Allen says deputies following a tip found the cabin Thursday morning about 10 miles from its original location. He says the structure had been placed on stilts and was sitting at the end of a private road east of Springdale.

Turnabout is fair play.

The sea lion jumped onto the railing of a boat at the Hyatt Mission Bay Marina and snatched a fish being held by a man on the boat, said San Diego Fire Rescue spokesman Lee Swanson.

The man was pulled into the water for about 15 seconds, Swanson said, and was brought to a hospital where he was treated for cuts on his arm and hand.

Really now, what’s the big deal? Isn’t organized fantasizing about rape and lynching just good clean college fun?

Think about it. One day these will be your judges, business leaders, and pillows of your community.

Really, now.

State police say one brother used a “Jesus” vanity license plate to assault another when they fought in southwestern Pennsylvania.

Forty-five-year-old James Wiles, of Springhill Township, is charged with simple assault and harassment for allegedly throwing the plate at his 47-year-old brother during an argument Feb. 24.

Aside:

It seems to me that the persons most vocal about Jesus are those who know him the least.