From Pine View Farm

Give Me a Break category archive

Deep Thoughts 0

John Handy has nothing on this crew.

Via Alicublog.

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Too Stupid for Words 0

A gentleman recently posted to the Opera newsgroup, opera.general, about a webpage that didn’t work.

A little later, he posted this (emphasis added):

Just received the following from the developer of the site mentioned above:

– – The problem with Opera is that it is SO standards compliant that it does not implement the extensions that FF (Firefox–ed.) and IE do. As a result, a number of JavaScript functions in the dictionaries do not work. – –

The problem is that Opera is too “standards compliant.” Too “Standards Compliant.” TOO “STANDARDS COMPLIANT.”

Give me a break.

There’s a reason standards are there.

That’s so persons will comply with them, so that, when they comply with the standards, stuff bleepin’ works.

Words fail me.

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It’s Just Not Right 3

To be playing baseball when the players are wearing caps with for heaven’s sakes earflaps.

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Too Stupid for Words 0

Oh, Jesus. Wingnuts can be such morons.

Via the Booman.

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Divorce Court 1

Wonder where this guy will be sleeping tonight? (emphasis added)

A new father has secretly named his baby girl Sarah McCain Palin after the Republican ticket for president and vice president.

Mark Ciptak of Elizabethton (Tenn.–ed.) put that name on the documents for the girl’s birth certificate, ignoring the name Ava Grace, which he and his wife had picked earlier.

Via Noz.

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A Present from My Bank 3

Came in the mail. They really do not have to remind me.

I’d tell you which bank it was, but I don’t know what name they are trading under today.

CareWise from Older Adults

And why are they mailing books all over the country when they are gasping for air already? This is they kind of good business sense that got them into trouble in the first place.

Furrfu!

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Crayola 0

er, yeah.

President George W. Bush, scrutinized in books by former colleagues including a blistering critique by his ex-spokesman, is considering writing a memoir of his own.

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Give Me a Break (Updated) 3

Update: Bill points out that this took place in Easton, Md., not Easton, Pa. I have been to Easton, Md.

He’s a guy, for heaven’s sake.

For the third time in five years, Easton, Pennsylvania police have ticketed someone for going topless in public. 18-year old Sean Cephus was cited June 4 when police say he was spotted in town without a shirt. He was also cited for failing to obey a lawful order to stop for police, on, in other words, he ran.

A 1974 town ordinance forbids anyone from going topless in public buildings or on public streets and sidewalks with penalties of fines up to $100 and up to 10 days in jail.

I’ve never visited Easton, though it’s not all that far from here.

And I never will. I’ll take my tourist dollars somewhere else, thank you. Maybe Bensalem.

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When Is the Republican Party Not the Republican Party? 0

When it’s the G. O. P.

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It’s Not Just the Phillies 0

No! They are not alone. There are other terrorists in our midst: The Bosox. But, then, we already knew that, didn’t we? Dick Polman has the scoop:

Did you know that the Boston Red Sox are terrorists? I learned this last night, when I saw Coco Crisp bump fists with the first-base coach. I’m not sure what secret al Qaeda messages passed between them, but it sure looked shady. And it appears that the Detroit Tigers are even worse; when they left the field last night, I saw two of the outfielders bump their gloves. Perhaps that’s a signal to launch nukes.

Thanks to Fox News, we do need to watch out for those fist bumps, so there I was, just being vigilant.

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Er, Yeah 2

What can I say about this?

Other than that it’s $40 a year, that is.

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Bushie Values 0

The dogs get visas (oh, yeah, and try diagramming the first sentence below):

Alishia Leitheiser has rescued animals since she was young, so the U.S. soldier’s mother wasn’t surprised to be picking up a stray dog from a U.S. airport on Friday that her daughter befriended in Iraq.

The black puppy with white legs and white spots — named Iraqi by Leitheiser — was one of 24 dogs flown from Baghdad to Newark International Airport in New Jersey this week by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals International.

The dogs are set to be reunited with U.S. soldiers who adopted them.

But to hell with the people:

Iraqi interpreters have to keep their faces hidden to survive working so closely with U.S. troops. They are the eyes and ears of American soldiers, but as CBS News chief foreign correspondent Lara Logan reports, for that, they are hunted down and murdered.

There are close to 10,000 translators in Iraq alone — but until now, only 50 special visas to the U.S. have been available each year for both Iraq and Afghanistan.

For interpreters, like “Timmy,” whose real name CBS News can’t reveal, that lack of special visas is almost a death sentence.

“When we sign the contract, we say, ‘Sign the contract for death, for executing,'” Timmy says.

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The Philadelphia Phillies Are Terrorists 0

or racists, or something. When someone comes back to the dugout after making a good play, the team does this with the someone:

Links via Phillybits.

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More Money that Sense: Canine Dept. 0

The days of freewheeling speculation regarding the genetic roots of the family mutt may be over. For a fee of about $80, several labs are now offering DNA tests for mixed-breed dogs, promising to inform curious families just what breeds of dog make up Fido’s heritage. Vets say the pedigree tests are accurate and becoming more popular. Sean Corcoran of WCAI, Cape Cod sends away for the DNA saliva swab in an attempt to discover the genealogy of his own 12-year-old former pound pup.

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Too Stupid for Words 1

Wingnuts, natch.

Who else?

Oh, yeah. From ASZ.

Oh my God I do get tired of the lies and teh stupid.

Dick Polman has more on deliveries from the McBush trash truck.

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We’re Rich, the Law Doesn’t Apply to Us Dept. 0

Glenn Greenwald:

Just in the first three months of 2008, recent lobbyist disclosure statements reveal that AT&T spent $5.2 million in lobbyist fees (putting it well ahead of its 2007 pace, when it spent just over $17 million). In the first quarter of 2008, Verizon spent $4.8 million on lobbyist fees, while Comcast spent $2.6 million. So in the first three months of this year, those three telecoms — which would be among the biggest beneficiaries of telecom amnesty (right after the White House) — spent a combined total of almost $13 million on lobbyists. They’re on pace to spend more than $50 million on lobbying this year — just those three companies.

Let’s pause for a brief minute to reflect on how ludicrous and deceptive — laughably so — are some of the main FISA/telecom claims that are being advanced. We continuously hear, for instance, that these poor, beleaguered telecoms need protection from the big, money-hungry plaintiffs’ lawyers driving these “costly” surveillance lawsuits. One of the two organizations leading the litigation against the telecoms (along with the ACLU) is the non-profit group Electronic Frontiers Foundation. . . .

But wait! There’s more!

Follow the link to read the whole sordid analysis of how big corporations think they should not have to be accountable for ignoring the law.

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Junkier Mail 0

I got a letter from this outfit today.

As my daughter would have said when she was younger, “Eeeewwwwww. Gross!”

Boy, it’s makes Publisher’s Clearing House mailings look like Shakespeare.

(Actually, I’ve gotten some useful stuff from Publisher’s Clearing House at reasonable prices. And they are honest about being in it for the money.)

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Appalling 0

Click here to be appalled.

Via Duncan.

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I Get Mail 1

I got another one of those obnoxious Republican “surveys” this morning.

This one was labeled a “census” and came in an envelope marked “Official Document.”

It was paper. It had printing on it, so I guess it was an officially a document.

You can look at it here (pdf) while considering the question, “How much more can they possible misrepresent the issues?”

I filled it out and sent it back. On the part where they shilled for a donation, I wrote, “Not a dime to help you make rich richer and the poor poorer.”

At least that’s another $.49 to $1.11 (depending on volume) they won’t be able to use to continue to subvert the Constitution of the United States of America and to further betray the blood and ideals of the Founder.

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DVD Players in Automobiles 3

(Prompted by a commercial I just saw.)

What the hell kind of kids are we raising if we sedate them with movies on long drives, rather than letting the little bastards darlings fight it out like God intended? Siblings are supposed to hate each other. It makes the love they feel for each other when they grow up so much more precious.

How will they learn to deal with adversity when they don’t even learn to deal with their brothers and sisters?

Dammit. My parents knew enough to point to the center seam in the seat covers (okay, so seat covers don’t have seams any more–there’s always masking tape) and say, “Stay on your side.” And my brother and I still haven’t killed each other.

Yet.

Christalmighty, I drove 31 days and 7100 miles about the country in a van filled with three kids and with no DVD player and, you know what? we made it home.

(We didn’t like each other any more, but we made it home with no fatalities.)

Generation of wusses.

Not the kids.

The parents.

Who have to sedate their kids with Disney rather than deal with them.

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