Gunnuttery category archive

Once again, politeness becomes child’s play.

More friendly politeness.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Another “responsible gun owner.”

Another unsecured portable phallus.

Another child in another hospital.

Settle disagreements over parking spaces with politeness.

Authorities in Calera (Alabama–ed.) are investigating after police say a woman fired shots at a car in the parking lot of a retail store, allegedly over a parking space. . . .

Peggy Boyd is seeking justice after her paint horse, Clancy, was fatally shot in the head during the night. This incident has left Boyd devastated and searching for answers.

(snip)

The Spokane County Sheriff’s Office is currently investigating the suspicious death of Clancy. Boyd reached out to NonStop Local for help in solving the mystery of who could have shot her horse. “To ever think that someone deliberately or accidentally shoots your horse right in the kill spot on their head and they’re dead it was very heartbreaking and he was my heart horse, my unicorn,” she said.

We are a broken society.

To exercise politeness properly, you have to receive careful instruction.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Not only is “responsible gun owner” an oxymoron, it would appear that, for this “responsible gun owner,” “gun safe” and “gun safety” are not on speaking terms.

A Colorado Springs Airbnb host has shared her shock when she had a message from a guest while on vacation that made her stop in her tracks.

(snip)

“There was an incident that happened this morning. As I was packing. I was also packing my firearm back in my safe and it went off and on the table, which went into the chair as well. I am truly sorry it was a total accident,” they wrote, offering to replace the damaged furniture since they owned the same set at home.

An oxymoronic “responsible gun owner” chooses to celebrate a marital union by performing random acts of politeness.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid.
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Honest to Pete, you can’t make this stuff up.

The stupid. It burns.

Yet another “responsible gun owner” practices politeness on the pavement.

More politeness on the pavement:

On Monday, June 9, officers with the Sugarcreek Borough Police Department responded to a call regarding an angry driver.

According to police, a 61-year-old semitruck driver pointed a handgun at a woman and child during a road rage incident.

For some fool reason, I find myself to be somewhat skeptical of the NRA’s notion that more guns make for more politeness. It seems to me that they make for les–oh, never mind.

Another oxymoronic “responsible gun owner” exposes his portable phallus to his child, and another child is sacrificed to America’s leaden idol.

And, as we know, a polite society is a clean society.

A child was injured in an accidental shooting Sunday evening in Fort Worth, according to police.

(snip)

According to police, the family told investigators a family member was cleaning the gun when it misfired. The child was hit by a ricocheted bullet, police say.

Aside:

Whoever wrote this story needs to look up “misfire.” It doesn’t mean what the writer seems to think it means, just as “accidental” is not just another word for “negligent.”

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Once again, politeness goes to for the dogs.

The dog owner, Enrie Lynn Dela-Cruz Ramos, allowed Max outside on Tuesday night to answer nature’s call. However, he returned with a gunshot wound to the nose, blood from his mouth and several teeth missing.

Yet another child is sacrificed to the idol of the portable phallus.

We are a broken society.

Once again, an oxymoronic “responsible gun owner” performs a random act of politeness while playing with his portable phallus.

A 65-year-old man was lying in bed with his wife on the first floor when a bullet from the second floor hit him in the back.

He was rushed to the hospital in critical condition.

The shooting, which police believe may have been accidental, happened on the 400 block of North 61 Street around 2 a.m.

A 52-year-old from the second floor told police that he was handling a rifle when it accidentally went off.

Once again, we are reminded that “accidental” and “negligent” are not synonyms.

A little paean to politeness in the park:

They were strolling through the park one day,
In the merry merry month of June,
Then someone pulled out his rod to play
Upon it a polite little tune.

We are again reminded that politeness is a family value.