Gunnuttery category archive

Play politely.

Morse said that he and the victim often met at the duplex to smoke marijuana and when they did so, they’d play with a gun, according to Lemma.

“What they would typically do is horseplay around with a gun at the location, meaning that they would point it at each other, they would pull the trigger. Most of the time, the gun was unloaded when that occurred,” Lemma said.

The victim was playing with the gun when Morse tried to take it and during the struggle, the gun fired, killing the victim, according to authorities.

Afterthought:

I will not say one way or the other that I have ever had any experience with that evil weed, but I freely admit that I have toyed with other intoxicants (God bless the Scots!). I will say that, had I done so, I would fancy myself not so stupid as to toy with firearms when so doing.

Shop politely.

The hunt for politeness continues.

Janet Wright, 73, was cleaning her stove that evening when she heard a loud noise, felt some pain in the back of her head and discovered she was bleeding. She drove to Ottumwa Regional Hospital, where the bullet was found and dislodged, according to a news release from the Iowa Department of Natural Resources.

The “hunter” has been detained.

Be polite to children.

Sheriff Andy Clark said the boyfriend of the child’s mother accidentally shot the girl with an AR-15. Clark said the man had taken a magazine out of the firearm and assumed it was unloaded.

The child is recovering, no thanks to the confluence of guns and stupid.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

DIY politeness.

According to Sgt. Shelly Park of the Sanilac County Sheriff’s Office, the 18-year-old was building a .22 caliber gun when he accidentally made the makeshift firearm go off, striking himself in the abdomen. There were two other people near the man when the incident happened, and they contacted 911.

Deputies say the 18-year-old stated that he had forgotten there was a bullet in the gun when he started working on it.

Rule one of having a gun is always to check whether it’s loaded.

The stupid. It burns.

Politeness takes practice.

(Link fixed)

Drive-thru politeness:

Police say Jayden Brower unbuckled himself from a booster seat in his mother’s car as she pulled into the drive-thru at a fast-food restaurant, according to Winston-Salem’s Fox 8 News.

Brower grabbed a .45 semi-automatic handgun that belonged to his father from the pocket on the back of the front passenger seat. The gun discharged by mistake, shooting the child in the face, police said.

Aside:

“Discharged by mistake” is the most creative misspelling of “negligently” I’ve yet seen.

There’s nothing like celebrating the New Year politely.

Police say a Kansas City, Kansas man planning to shoot his gun at midnight accidentally shot himself in the stomach as he sat (sic) the gun down.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you, brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Be polite as you dine.

Incensed that taco sauce was not included with his order, a gunman opened fire early today at a Taco Bell in Oklahoma, shooting up the restaurant’s drive-thru window, police report.

Self-politeness is the politest kind.

By the time they arrived, Kraft was dead from a single gunshot wound to his hand and chest from a .308 caliber rifle.

Investigators determined Kraft was attempting to remove the rifle from the back seat of his pickup when the rifle fired, striking his hand and chest.

Whatever happened to “don’t transport a loaded gun”?

For that matter, whatever happened to “engage the safety”?

Or “don’t point the gun at anyone, including yourself”?

Cleanliness is next to politeness.

The man told police he had accidentally shot his friend as he was cleaning the weapon, the report noted. A witness also told police she was hanging out in a bedroom as the man was cleaning the handgun.

(snip)

“He advised that he was cleaning the gun and removed the magazine. He advised he then checked the magazine and did not see a bullet inside,” the report noted. “He then advised he pulled the trigger so that he could disengage the slide to remove it. He advised that once he pulled the trigger, the gun went off.”

The story also mentions that he was so caught up in fondling his portable penis cleaning the gun that he did not realize the woman was shot until he heard her screams.

Be polite as you complete your last-minute Christmas shopping.

The injured man was shopping at Dollar Tree, located on the border of Franklin and Ravenna Townships off Route 59, when a gun he was carrying apparently discharged.

“It was completely accidental,” Myers said. “The gentleman was actually very embarrassed about the whole situation.”

A quibble: “Accidental” is a less than optimal synonym for “stupid.”

Shoot yourself in the foot. It’s the latest craze.

Man accidentally shot himself in the foot at Five Points gas station, police say.

The story goes on to report that he touched the gun in his pants and it went off.

Once again, politeness is child’s play.

The girl, later identified as Maliyah Palmer, was at home with her 12-year-old brother and 16-year-old sister when the boy discovered a 9mm handgun in a dresser drawer in their parents’ bedroom and accidentally shot his younger sister in the head. Police arrived on the scene around 11 p.m., before Maliyah died at the hospital.

Also, once again, “responsible gun owner” is an oxymoron.

If the story can be believed, yet another gun discharged itself all on its ownsome.

The shooting happened shortly after 7 p.m. in the 1900 block of Airport Road. Police Lt. Rodney Dozier said Dakota Logan Watkins, the victim, was fatally wounded by a bullet that appears to have discharged unexpectedly from a semi-automatic handgun.

Display politeness in satisfying your material wants.

On December 4, police responded to a shooting inside of the Walmart.

The victim shot herself in the foot after dropping her purse, which had her loaded 38 caliber Derringer gun inside of it.

Politeness is a family value.

Investigators say a 2-year-old boy found an unsecured nine-millimeter handgun inside of a backpack in his parent`s bedroom.

Police think the boy was actually looking for snacks in his father`s backpack.

Authorities tell us the toddler took the backpack with the gun in it to his bedroom where he started playing with the gun and it went off once. The bullet hitting both the 2-year-old and his 7-year-old brother.