Gunnuttery category archive

Politeness is a family value.

Police say the boy was playing with a handgun when it discharged, shooting his sister in the back.

The requirements of politeness place great expectorations upon the polite.

An 18-year-old man was driving a vehicle on West Maple Avenue, with a 20-year-old passenger from Texas, the chief said.

The passenger had his gun in his hand, and opened his door to spit, and the gun went off. The driver was hit in the back, and is listed in stable condition.

Politeness is the foundation of a solid marriage.

According to court papers, Dylan Lee blamed everything on an argument.

He told investigators he and his new bride were fighting about chores when he pulled out a gun and shot her phone.

He says he then accidentally shot her as she tried to reach for the gun.

Lee told police the two just got married last weekend.

The bride survived. One wonders whether the marriage will.

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Commemorate your idols politely.

News 3’s Rachael Cardin spoke to a witness who said he heard the two people in a local barbershop arguing over whether or not Halle Berry played or would play Aretha Franklin in a movie.

Police said the fight turned physical and then one of the subjects, identified as 44-year-old Michael Jermell Hatton, produced a firearm, shooting the other man at least once outside the shop.

Put the spotlight on politeness.

But on that UTV ride, a battery rolled off the seat next to him and onto the floor of the vehicle, according to KEYE, which first reported on the incident.

“It was right after the sun went down, between 9 and 10 p.m.,” Titus County Sheriff’s Lt. Chris Bragg told McClatchy. “So he starts feeling around in the dark for his spotlight.”

The man, who Bragg said is from the Dallas-Fort Worth area, thought he had found it. He pulled the trigger before he realized what he had actually found on the vehicle’s floor was his .40 caliber Glock handgun.

Yup. He shot himself in the leg.

And, in yet more news of the polite . . . .

Practice random acts of politeness.

According to Sheriff Terry Austin, it appears a person accidentally shot a woman along West Main Street. Officers have been able to speak to the victim, who was conscious and alert. The bullet, which is still in her body, did not appear to hit any vital organs.

“Polite society” frolics.

Make no mistake, I think that 3-D printed guns is a profoundly stupid idea that appeals primarily to firearms fetishists who want yet another portable penis, this one a plastic toy, to caress and, secondarily, to those designing to do evil in an undetectable manner.

But, really, is it any stupider than guns everywhere?

If only the television had been packing, it could have defended itself.

Police arrested a 26-year-old Manitowoc man Monday evening after they say he shot his handgun at a TV during an argument.

Politeness is essential to marital bliss.

According to court papers, Dylan Lee blamed everything on an argument.

He told investigators he and his new bride were fighting about chores when he pulled out a gun and shot her phone.

He says he then accidentally shot her as she tried to reach for the gun.

The bride survived. I suspect that the marriage may not.

(Really. He was going to shoot the phone?)

Politeness is a family value.

A 9-year-old girl has died after being shot in the head by her 10-year-old brother outside a Campbell County pizza shop in what appears to have been an accident, authorities said.

Play politely.

Three men who claimed they were injured in a drive-by shooting overnight actually were hit by a shot accidentally fired by one of the three in the back seat of a car, police said.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like love and Cupid.
Let me tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other.

Be polite to your friends.

The 40-year-old gun owner was showing his .380-Beretta semi-automatic handgun to a 49-year-old Paterson man when “the gun discharged one round, striking the gun owner in his left hand and his friend in the right hip,” Fair Lawn Police Sgt. Brian Metzler said in a prepared statement.

. . . and another gun fires itself.

Practice random acts of politeness.

The woman was standing in her front yard when she was hit in the chest by a single gunshot, according to a press release. The shot had come from a residence across the street.

A 63-year-old male was identified as the accidental shooter, the injury a result of unsafe use of a firearm. The bullet had gone through a wall of the house before hitting the woman.

For the sake of the children, fill your home with politeness.

They say the two children were in the master bedroom when it happened. The children were getting guns out of the gun safe that is kept in an area between the master bedroom and master bathroom.

Officials say the safe was locked but the boy knew where the key was. The little girl took out an unloaded glock pistol, and the boy pulled out a .22 magnum rifle with a bullet in the chamber but no magazine. That’s when the little boy fired the gun, hitting the girl.

Surround your family with a cocoon of politeness.

According to police, the 41-year-old mother’s handgun fell from her holster at which time she attempted to catch it. The mother, however, grabbed the trigger, shooting herself in the leg.

Police say the bullet then ricocheted off the concrete, striking the woman’s 15-year-old daughter in the leg as well.

Politeness plays in Peoria.

Rear your children with politeness.

The investigation into the circumstances of the fatal accident revealed that two children were left in the care of an adult family member while the parents were at work. That adult told officers that after stepping out of the kitchen, one of the children took a loaded handgun out of the kitchen cupboard and inadvertently shot himself in the upper body.

Shower your neighbors with politeness.

He (Radcliffe, Ky., police chief Jeff Cross–ed.) said Howell was cleaning his weapons as he prepared to leave town when a shot was fired from a Glock 9mm gun. The shot went through a wall in Howell’s residence on Applewood Lane near John Hardin High School, Cross said, went through a window and struck a piece of furniture in a bedroom of another residence.

The story goes on the say that no charges will be filed because, for some fool reason, this has been determined to have been a “bad accident,” rather than, say, for example, just to suggest a term, criminally stupid.