Gunnuttery category archive

Share the aisle.

Officers were dispatched Monday to the Wooster Street Market in Shelton after a 911 caller reported that a man “brandished a firearm” during a quarrel.

The complainant, cops noted, reported that he was “arguing over neighborhood issues” with Mario Williams, 58, when “Williams pulled a firearm and pointed it at him during the dispute.”

Per the mugshot at the link, the mope was proudly wearing his NRA tee shirt as he sought a second amendment solution.

. . . and a polite society is a clean society.

Henry County police said the father was cleaning his weapon inside a home in the 100 block of Bob White Drive. The gun went off with a single bullet, striking both the father and his daughter.

If you are too stupid to make sure your gun is empty before cleaning it, you are too stupid to have gun.

In related news, Florida sticks with the programming. An excerpt from Daniel Ruth’s column:

When the 2018 election cycle arrives and your member of the Florida Legislature is telling everyone that he or she is a vigilant crusader for law and order, ask a simple question:

When you had the opportunity to revise Florida’s ditsy “stand your ground” law to make it even easier for the citizenry to shoot one another with less legal risk than a Kremlin assassin, how did you vote?

And if the vote was yes, you can conclude that your elected poltroon is a prevaricating, hypocritical, weasly National Rifle Association lackey. Too harsh?

This is a neat trick. The Florida Legislature is poised to take one of the nation’s most stupid — and needless — laws and make it even more inane. We’re number dumb!

Politeness can’t be contained in one room.

Police say security at the university reported to police that there was an accidental shooting where the victim had a gunshot wound to his head.

(snip)

Investigators believe the victim was shot by another student, who was in a separate room when the gun discharged.

Mary Jane makes you more polite.

One of the men there, Alec Troutman, 19, of Warner Robins, told the police that he had pulled his .38-caliber pistol to show it to Moore, who wanted to see it, a sheriff’s report said.

“Mr. Troutman stated that as he went to hand the revolver to Mr. Moore, the hammer engaged causing it to shoot a round into Mr. Moore’s arm,” the report noted.

No doubt the hammer engaged all on its ownsome, without intervention from external agency, such as, for example just to mention a possibility, the bozo holding the gun in his hand.

(Actually, Mary Jane probably does make persons more polite, or at least more laid back, but it sure as shootin’ don’t make gun nuts smarter.)

In related news, remember what I said yesterday about guns turning “hes and shes” into “males and females”? Police-speak seems to exist in a place apart from humanness.

Addendum, Later That Same Day:

Badtux goes off on guns that “just go off.” (Warning: Language.)

Guns on campus are working out so very nicely, thank you.

One person was injured after a gun was accidentally discharged at a University of St. Thomas dormitory Friday night, St. Paul police said.

About 7 p.m., a round fired from a firearm at Flynn Hall grazed the male victim, who suffered a minor injury, St. Paul police acting Cmdr. Jennifer Corcoran said. Corcoran was not sure where in the residence hall the shooting occurred and if the shooter and victim were university students.

The practitioner of politeness has not been produced.

Pardner, I think this cowpoke was packing his ole shooting irony.

A National Rifle Association employee accidentally shot himself while doing firearms training at the organization’s headquarters, according to police.

The 46-year-old man’s pistol accidentally discharged Thursday afternoon as he holstered the gun in Fairfax County, Virginia, police said.

A mess of politeness:

The woman told police her 38-year-old boyfriend, who also lives at the home, was outside the bathroom “messing” with a semi-automatic pistol when it accidentally went off.

The woman was in stable condition, police said Monday.

The stupid. It burns.

Just another day in NRA Paradise . . . .

The Corpus Christi Police Department has arrested the father of a 2-year-old after that young boy accidentally shot himself in the face over the weekend. . . .

Investigators said that Morales left a loaded semi-automatic gun on the kitchen table, within reach of the child. The child got ahold of that gun and accidentally shot himself in the face, officers said. He later died at the hospital.

More guns would not doubt have prevented this.

Let a little politeness into your relationship.

Officers said it appeared as though the man was standing in a back bedroom and handling an AR-15 when it accidentally went off.

That bullet passed through a wall and struck the woman who was in the bathroom. She died a short time after officers arrived.

Inculcate politeness from a young age.

A 4-year-old boy who accidentally shot himself on Wednesday night is expected to recover from his injuries, according to the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office.

Children search for politeness.

According to the sheriff’s office, the 8-year-old and his 15-year-old cousin were at a home on North 3950 Road near Ochelata when they left to retrieve some pellets from a home near on West 2980 Road. The younger boy asked if there were any guns.

Investigators say the teenager showed his younger cousin a 12-gauge shotgun that was inside a vehicle. The shotgun was placed against a tire before the teen reached back into the vehicle looking for another gun.

According to the sheriff’s office, the shotgun fell to the ground, discharging one round.

The family now has one less member sitting at the table.

Rear your children politely.

Richmond County investigators say the father, Mark Scoggins, went outside with friends and left his child inside by herself.

They say the 6-year-old came across her father’s handgun and accidentally fired it.

Guns and stupid, guns and stupid,
They go together like a horse and carriage.
This I tell you brother,
Mix them together to make your carnage.

Nothing like a little playtime to make the workday go faster.

The incident started when Eberle, the victim and other employees were waiving (sic) and pointing guns at each other. Eberle pointed his rifle at the victim and the weapon discharged, shooting him in the side of the face. The victim, who has not been identified, suffered serious but non-life threatening injuries.

Demonstrate politeness to the young.

An 8-year-old Whitney girl died Thursday night after she was accidentally shot in the head.

Hill County deputies were sent at about 8:20 p.m. to a home in the 2000 block of Farm-to-Market Road 1534 after a caller reported a child had been shot, a news release from the sheriff’s office says.

Surround your children with politeness.

It’s a small neighborhood just north of the North Carolina state line. Nearly everyone here knows their neighbors, some are afraid to go outside.

“I don’t even feel safe to go out in the summertime to work back in my backyard because bullets has no eyes,” Barr said.

Tuesday night deputies were called to a home on Wards Gap Road where three children live with their parents. A 9-year-old girl had been shot through the arm by a 9-mm pistol. Investigators say another child and a parent were cleaning the hand gun when it accidentally fired.

Neighbors say they’ve called the sheriff’s office many times before this accident.

Engage yourself with being polite.

Messner released the handgun’s magazine and thought he cycled the action on the gun to remove the bullet from the chamber, according to the sergeant. But the bullet did not clear the gun’s chamber, and Messner’s finger depressed the trigger, causing it to fire and hit Rogers in the upper torso.

Rear your children in an atmosphere of politeness.

Two 3-year-old children were exiting a vehicle when one of the children found a gun inside the vehicle and shot himself in the hand, according to police. The bullet also struck the other child in the side.